[akr9504]

We got the call today! But...we think (they are talking to the social worker) that the birthmom was rapped. We love everything about the birthmom but what would you do? Please advise


Akr

[Linny]

Knowing that a birthmom to my child was raped would make no difference to me at all....other than the fact of 'how and what I would say when the time came for giving details of their conception', KWIM?

A baby is a baby....no matter how it was conceived in my book. The child had no control over who its bioparents are and/or how it came to be; and if conceived by rape....I applaud the birthmother for going through with the pregnancy anyway.

Sincerely,

Linny

[AudreyE]

All of our children had the same birthmother, but the first two had a different birthfather.

He died in an absolutely horrific criminal way that made the front page of the local paper in their hometown.

I have the articles, and the obituary. When they are old enough, I will show it to them.

But it made no difference in our choosing to adopt them. I think the best way to go about adopting a child of rape is to do something similar... find as much information as you can, and be prepared to explain it when the child is ready to know.

Until then, as Linny said, a child is a child.

Audrey

[marathon]

Congratulations of being matched. Whatever you decide you have my support! My gut instinct says all children are born good, pure and loving and stay that way when surrounded by good loving parents. Best of luck!!

[jennmomtothree]

I agree with all of the previous posts.

It's not nearly comparable, but...

I was a child of a one-night stand (well, it was two nights...), conceived right around the time of Roe v. Wade. Mom's doctor assumed she'd abort - instead she carried me and gave me my middle name, Joy, to remind me that despite a difficult circumstance, she loved me and always would.

I know nothing about my birthfather, and though I had some issues as a teen (who doesn't?!), I feel very privileged that she chose to give birth to me when she could have chosen otherwise. I've had a great life so far, and I'm still young!

Likewise, I pray that I'll be able to convey to my children that their conception stories have little to do with who they are as people. They're my beloved sons and daughter, and I can't imagine how my life would be without them.

I have less information about each of my children's conception stories, but we have some suspicions that our youngest might have been the result of a rape, or something along those lines...again, the blessing of having him with us is remarkable.

God's greatest gifts often come in unexpected ways. This may simply be one of them.