[nixe1597]

I know that you maybe heard this question a million times already. But can you answer it one more time?

Our birthmom expects a AA girl in November, and I do not have any clue how to take care of the hair.

Yesterday I saw some baby hair care products at Walmart, and it was made for AA hair. Do you have experiences with that?
I am glad for any advice.

Warmly
Katja

[Casey677]

I don't have tons of experience either since my 2 year old was mostly bald until she was 18 months old, but I just stopped using regular (Aveeno) baby shampoo on her. I now use a kids smoother shampoo by Sauve. My 7 month old has a FULL head of hair. I am still using the baby shampoo on her and will until she is a year.

I love buying products for my older dd, but don't plan on using anything at all for our baby until she turns 1 (accept for the spray detangler to help with combing).

[jjlutefisk]

My daughter is 6 months old and her hair was getting dry. I ran into a black woman in an elevator and asked her about her baby's beautiful hair. She told me that she puts vaseline on it. I went home and bought some vaseline and my daughter's hair looks great now! I would never have thought of that on my own. I am always asking black women for advice on my daughter's hair and skin. Maybe if you stand in front of the product shelf, someone will come up and give you some advice!

[jennmomtothree]

I highly recommend the Yahoo Adoption Hair & Skin Care group for answers to questions like these. There are many very experienced adoptive and biological moms and sisters (and some dads, too) there who are more than capable to answer questions! They've helped me tremendously.

In fact, just this last weekend, I got a compliment on my daughter's (very simple) hairstyle. The AA woman who was speaking to us happened to be a a hairstylist and said that most (white) moms don't know how to do their girls' hair. It was a proud moment.

By the way, most of the moms on this Yahoo group would not recommend products as heavy as Vaseline - it works, but may have some other negative effects you may want to avoid. Instead, they opt for lighter, more natural ingredients. Olive oil, for instance, can be mixed with water and sprayed on hair for a wonderful effect. Shea butter is highly recommended, as is coconut oil. I currently am using Johnson&Johnson's Extra Conditioning Shampoo on my kids, and I have the J&J baby wash with shea and cocoa butter. Both have additional moisturizing agents that assist with dry skin and hair. For moisturizing, I buy Suave's Natural Oatmeal moisturizer - it's pretty cheap and works great. I've also used the Huggies Shea and Cocoa Butter products with success.

[ocracoke]

Personally I would stay away from any petroleum based products whenever possible. I White) have been blessed with good skin and hair and so has my daughter (Ethiopian) so I really don't have to do much in terms of moisturizing and I understand that people who suffer from dry skin may need to try harsher things. Given that... the best types of moisturizers for the human skin and hair are animal based. It matches our own moisture and it tends not to do things like clog pores. However, most people are not interested in putting some sort of lard on their skin -- understandably so. The second best thing for your skin would be plant based. Look for things in the ingredient list like shae, cocoa, aloe, etc. They match the skin without causing problems. The worst option is mineral based and petroleums. It is like putting a bandaid on the problem instead of healing the problem. If the skin or hair is really dry then you use a heavy solution or do it a couple of times a day. If the skin and hair tend to retain moisture well then you use a lighter based product and use less often. Keep in mind that scents are usually bound to the lotion via alcohol so unscented is best. Look at the ingredients list and the further down the "no-no's" are the better the product is to use.

If you have money then I would suggest Carol's Daughters products. I don't really like the soaps and shampoos but love the lotions and leave-in conditioners. I love the Black Vanilla Leave-in Conditioner and only need to use a light spray on my daughter in the morning. As for the lotions, pick your favorite scent...they are fabulous. They can only be found online -- just look up Carol's Daughter on the internet -- unless you live in NYC where they have stores.

If you don't have money (like most of us), then check out Taaliah Waajid (I think that is the spelling). It can be found online or in some stores. I go to Beauty World but it may be in other stores. I love the shampoo and need very little of it to clean my daughter's hair. The Leave-in Bodifying Mist is way too thick and heavy for my daughter. It works well on thick and dry hair. For my daughter I put about 2 tablespoons of it in a 4 oz spray bottle and fill the rest with water. I spray really lightly in the morning and she is set for the day.

Good but cheap soaps and shampoos can also be found at your local health food store. I like the Shaikai products. I use them on my daughter and on me. But pick the one that works for you.

For styling gel I use Let's Jam. I have tried many and didn't like them. Let's Jam is great for helping with braiding (and twisting). It is petroleum based so I go against all that I have just said with this. But I figure I use a little bit in her hair once a week when I do her braids for the week so I am not doing too much damage. And I spray her down really good before putting the gel on.

Remember that little ones are really hard on hairstyles. All the pulling and rolling is harsh on the hair especially if it is dry. If possible put the hair into twist, braids, cornrows, etc. Afros are really easy and little headbands are really cute but they do really help with keeping hair healthy and moisturized. My daughter's hair was really short when she first came home at 21 months (ringworm and shaved at the orphanage) so I really couldn't do much with it other then headbands for about 6 months. Once she had proper nutrition her hair got healthier and longer. Now that I braid her hair most of the time it stays moist and healthy (very little breakage). And she loves loves loves having beads in her hair.

Best of luck,
Samantha

[Casey677]

I second Carol's Daughters products. I currently use either the hair milk or the mimosa hair honey for my older dd. They leave her hair feeling so soft & shiny.

[nickchris]

It is trail and error with the decent products, based on the type of hair that the child have, and baby hair changes over time as well. I use CD products for my older kids who both have different texture hair. For my toddler, I use baby shampoo or Suave moisturizer shampoo, olive oil/water mix for spritzing her hair when I comb it. Smaller babies I stick with the gentle baby shampoo, and see how the hair changes over time.
As for the Vaseline:
I am black, and will say this, not all blacks know good hair care, go to a reputable hair stylist who knows black hair care, if needs be. Vaseline is so not the way most of us go anymore, we have found much better products for our hair, and skin. Research online, or get a book like "It's all good hair" which has information on carin gfor childrens hair, while promoting good self esteem. Even my grandmother and mother knew better, my mom is 60. Vaseline and other petroleum products does nothing but coat the hair, attract dust, and clogs the pores. Having very curly/kinky hair, will never catch the light like straight hair, and may never have the sheen of straight hair, and that is fine, fuzz around the hairlines is fine..babies/kids do not need slicked down hair. Wanting shiny hair is not the objective, it is keeping the hair shafts moisturized to keep it from breaking, and staying healthy.

[joskids]

I'm white with two biracial daughters and I THIRD the Carol's Daughter products. And I LOVE the way the shampoo smells but it has a more powerful smell so I use it on the 8 year old, not our 18 mo. old. Our 8 year old is black/Italian and because I'm Italian, I really do understand coarse hair. Hers is very long and very natural, we do NOT intend to relax her hair until she is adult enough to decide to do it herself. Until then, I buy the best products available and have learned to do quite a bit of braiding myself. There are times when I just leave it down to let her hair breathe and it is BIG and she sometimes gets comments from kids at school but I try to be sure she is very proud of her beautiful, long, black-girl hair. The baby has very silky curls. Not at all coarse and braids just fall right out (after she pulls out the rubber bands and hairballs. I use Carol's Daughter's hair milk on her curls, spray then every morning with an oil spray moisturizer, comb through with my hands and then use the hair milk. If she will leave a hairband in, I do that and let the curls flow, they are beautiful. If not, we do 2, 3 or 4 ponies, depending on how long she will sit. It's been my experience that black women, even those that are strangers to me, have been MORE than helpful if I have any questions when I see them with a child with beautifully maintained hair. Besides, it gives me a chance to make new friends while in line at the grocery store. We also live in a very diverse area so there are lots of stores with good products available. Also check out the book "It's All Good Hair." Helped teach me an awful lot about braiding.

[MichelleL11]

Wanted to recommend the following shea butter product. I picked the one with lavender but they have unscented as well. You just dig some out of the jar and warm it up on your hands and then massage it in. We can get it at our local health food store. I like how part of the profits go to Africa.


https://secure.alaffia.com/home.php?cat=249

To let you know how it worked for us, our daugther was born with very soft, straight hair which she lost completely around 3-4 months. After being bald for about a month or so, her "grown-up" hair came in. We have been using shea butter to keep it moisturized. She is now 10 months and her hair is still too short to style -- just a very short afro, but it is growing . . .

We wash her hair only about once a week (baby shampoo) -- and as she gets older will likely add in some sort of conditioner and may go to only conditioner (no-poo) depending on the dryness and texture of her final hair and the styles that work best for her hair. But for now the shea butter is working well for us.

[ocracoke]

I have been wanting to try the Alaffia. There is actually a store in my town that carries it but it is on the other end of town and I just never make it down there. It won't be this month since I am poor and she has more hair care products then some small stores but it is on my "to try" list.

Samantha

[JNs_AdtrandFes_Bdtr]

I'm not an adoptive parent but an adoptee but I am AA and I thought you could use some help from my perspective. 1) No vasaline, it clogs the pores on your head. 2) Go to Sally's or a black hair care store, that's your best bet for finding products for AA hair. 3) Use hair moisturizer on their hair, it doesn't have oil to clog pores. 4) Do not wash AA hair everyday it damages it, every couple of days to a week is best but I do know kids get dirty. 5) Just For Me is a great brand of hair care products for kids. For baby's baby shampoo is fine but when they get older regular hair care products don't work as well. That's my opinion and personal experiance. I hope this answers so questions and maybe more.
P.S. braiding your kids hair is always your best bet, then you don't have to redo it everyday, when it gets long enough to braid that is.

[nixe1597]

Thank you so much for all the advice. You helped me with all the information, so I am prepared very well until the baby comes.

Warmly,
Katja

[jaenelle]

I also use the Carol's Daughter products, although when I use the Wen conditioner (pricey but only need a tiny bit) then I don't need ANYTHING else at all. If I use the CD products we need a few different things. Still not bad at all. Yuna's hair is very coarse and kinky and gets very dry. I only wash it once a week -- any oftener and it's really dry.

Yuna's hair is (finally!) long enough to braid so we are doing that most of the time now. Use the little puffy elastics (the covered ones) most of the time as they seem gentler on her hair.

[jjlutefisk]

Ok, now I'm all embarrassed that I mentioned Vaseline because I thought it was working well on her hair!

Apparently, I need to go shopping to find something else for her hair. I had tried the Burt's Bees apricot oil and it clogged her pores. I'll check out some of the places everyone else mentioned. Sorry but I'm glad everyone else jumped in!

[ocracoke]

Originally Posted by jjlutefisk

Ok, now I'm all embarrassed that I mentioned Vaseline because I thought it was working well on her hair!

Apparently, I need to go shopping to find something else for her hair. I had tried the Burt's Bees apricot oil and it clogged her pores. I'll check out some of the places everyone else mentioned. Sorry but I'm glad everyone else jumped in!

Don't be embarrassed!! This is a place to learn. And if you hadn't posted maybe some of us wouldn't have replied. And before I got my daughter home I knew none of this. Live and learn.

Samantha