[Muddypaws]

What has been your experience? (newborn, AA, in the USA)
Our agency outlines the matching process as taking place with a mom at about6/7 months pg but from any anecdotal experiences, it seems more often that families are matched with a baby after the baby is born.
Curious....

[jennmomtothree]

The first two times, we matched with our babies the day after they were born (home at 6 days, and 5 days old, respectively). Our third time, we were called by our agency (we were the only family they knew of open to an African American baby) just after the agency was called, with birthmom in labor.

I'll tell you, if you can match this way, it's relatively stress-free. Depending on your state, you often only have a few days before irrevocable relinquishment papers can be signed, or before relinquishment can be revoked. We felt very blessed that it's happened that way for us...especially because we weren't terribly comfortable with wide-openness in adoption.

[mommamarci]

We also had a baby born situation. Cameron was a week old when we got the call. He was placed in our arms at 10 days. By this point, TPR had been signed and was irreocable, so mainly stress free. (Bdad was TPR'ed via putative father registry, but we were confident he was not going to stake a claim. He and bmom were still together, he just did not wish to sign for confidentiality reasons.)

[mommmmy]

Her birthmom contacted us the end of Feb. I don't think we were "officially" matched until April or May and baby was born mid June.

[DebCsMom]

With our first adoption we matched 5 weeks before her birth. With our second we got "the call" about her on a wednesday, said no, got another call about her on the next tuesday. We agreed to meet the BMom on That saturday but our daughter was born that thursday! We picked her up on Saturday. With our son we matched 3 weeks before his birth.

Deb

[Linny]

We've adopted a total of five infants. The first two were international, the last three have been AA.

ALL of them have been situations where the baby has already been born. Personally, while we would have been available for 'matching'.....it would not be our preference at all. And frankly, we feel better about a birthmother's decision who would choose adoption once the baby is born, rather than previous to the birth.

Of the last three babies (AA)....one baby was one day old, another a few months old, and the last one was but a few days old when they came to be ours.

In this way of adopting, there's so much less stress for everyone involved; as well as a much smaller chance that anyone is going to change their mind.

Sincerely,

Linny

[Wisdom]

I'd love to have an experience where the baby is already born and if possible TPR'd. Can any of you who've had that experience share the name of your agency. I've not found any agencies that have those type situations. Thanks.

[Shadowfaerie]

We are currently matched and we were notified about it four days before her due date.

[mommamarci]

Originally Posted by noalis

I'd love to have an experience where the baby is already born and if possible TPR'd. Can any of you who've had that experience share the name of your agency. I've not found any agencies that have those type situations. Thanks.

I have never heard of an agency that this is their policy. The agency our son came through did not have any families so they had to do a search using a referral service. That is why he was already TPR'ed. I think you could only do baby born situations with some agencies, but I am not sure about the already TPR'ed.

[Linny]

I can assure you that two of the three babies we have now (two are now pre-schoolers, one just a couple of months old) were situations where the birthmother's rights were already relinquished (with no revocation), and the birthfather's rights were 'pretty certainly already TPR'd'. I realize there is some risk, but I can tell you that the amount of risk was practically miniscule. (For instance, where the bf is unknown and so stated on the birth certificate.)

If you're referring to legally TPR'd......already 'done' in court---and in the states we've used, this was basically a 'paper thing', rather than anything that could have been contested, etc.......I suppose they weren't 'officially' TPR'd.....but, as I said, it was completely a paperwork thing.

Keep in mind that some states are much easier to work with in adoption, than others.

In one of our babies, the birthmother had two more days before she could officially make any kind of decision to sign. I thought this would be 'easy'. I was wrong. On the second day, I found myself bawling like a baby and hoping she would not change her mind to parent. She didn't and after the third day, she continued to want to sign relinquishment papers.

But, yes, there are several agencies who have----as one agency referred to them as----'stork babies'. (I personally like that term.)
I'll be glad to send my own list to you....

Sincerely,

Linny

[rredhead]

Hi,

We matched with Jack's bmom in October and she was due in January. I really liked being able to get to know her, and she has said that getting to know us made her decision easier. That said, we're not sure we could do that again.
We had a terrible agency who never called the hospital's SW so our son was in the NICU by himself for much of the first day of his life. I couldn't even see him through the window. The hospital treated bmom horribly and Jack wasn't treated all that much better.
DH & I won't be adopting again for a few years, but we think we'd prefer a "stork baby" so we don't have to ride the emotional roller coaster that occurs at the hospital, or the helplessness you feel when you realize that you have no right or voice to help the bmom or the baby.
But you know, everyone's experience is different, even the same person adopting again is likely to have a completely different experience each time. You just have to be prepared for whatever happens.

[MichelleL11]

We were matched in the morning of October 6. Our DD's birthmom's due date was October 21 so we throught we had some time . . .

The baby fooled us all and arrived the evening of October 6th. We didn't get the news until the morning of October 7th (Saturday) due to cell phone difficulties (we were unknowingly out of range) -- and the SW was unavailable until Monday so we traveled on Sunday and met our DD on Tuesday, after TPR.

So really close to a "baby born" situation, but not quite. I agree that it would've been hard to have met her before TPR was signed, so all of our communication and travel issues were a bit of a blessing in disguise.

[traceyk]

We were told about her possibly being available the day she was born, and got the final ok that she was TPR'd and to "come get her" when she was 3 days old. I liked it that way because there were no what ifs because the same day she was born another baby was born that we matched with and mom changed her mind 4 hours later.