[tajmu311]

Hi everyone,

I don't post on this site often, but depend on all of you for your wisdom and words of encouragement! My dh and I are looking to adopt an infant through domestic adoption and are open to any race/ethnicity/gender. We signed with our agency in November 2005 and have been "officially" waiting since May 24, 2006. As of now, our profile hasn't even been shown once - after 7 months!! Is this normal?? I assumed that our openness would help us to match more quickly. I am now wondering if we chose the wrong agency and need to be looking elsewhere. If anyone has any advice for me, I would greatly appreciate it! THanks!

[doxie03]

Hi- I'm sorry to hear you have been waiting for so long. Do you mind me asking what type of openess you are open to? My dh and I signed on with our agency in July 2006, and were shown 3 times before getting matched with our sons birthmom at the end of November. Our son was born 4 days before we were officially "matched", and we brought him home the beginning of December. Total we waited 4 months for a match, and we were open to race/gender and our adoption is semi-open with pictures and letters.

What state are you in? We are in texas, and our agencies average wait times when you are open to race/gender was 6 months. If you are interested in the name of our agency pm me. They have been wonderful to work with. HTH and I hope you get matched soon.

[tajmu311]

Thank you so much - of course I don't mind you asking. We are open to pictures and letters as well as occasional visits, depending on the situation. It is very important to us that our child feel connected with their birth family and know form the very beginning how much they are loved by everyone involved. If you could PM the name of your agency, that would be teriffic - I appreciate your kind words!

btw, we are in Virginia and our agency said that families in the program we are in typically place within 12 months. While we are still well within that time frame, I continue to feel that more progress should have been made by now.

Thanks!

[jennmomtothree]

Yes, it certainly can happen faster than that (our longest wait, including homestudy has been 3 months). But, I don't know what the "adoption situation" is in Virginia these days.

I also know that I have gotten several inquiries from the agencies we've dealt with (in Louisiana and Alabama) at various times, about whether we were interested in adopting again, or if we knew people who would be interested in adopting African American kids, because those children have typically been the hardest to place.

So, while your wait doesn't seem ridiculous, it does seem possible to me that other agencies might be able to help you more quickly.

[noelani2]

I have to tell you that I have been pretty much "out of the loop" for about five years now, so I might not know about any recent changes in trends, but here are some ideas.

My two youngest children are now 13 and 11, but I found both of them pretty much by looking around! I had gotten a home study, and then just tried to follow my instincts.

One thing that can work is to tell people you know who have previously adopted, that you are looking. Sometimes agencies will call families they have worked with, when they are in need of a family. I found my son, Joseph, because of that kind of situation.

With Joanna, I found that there were agencies that would keep some information on families who were interested in children who tended to be harder to place, without asking them to pay any application fees. Then, if the agency ended up with a child that they needed to place quickly, but they didn't have any official applicants who were a match, they could call those families they had basic information about. Some agencies will do that and some won't, but you aren't out much if you send information to some who don't keep it.

I have also ended up being able to refer several other families from around here to agencies that had been involved with Joanna and Joseph's adoptions. One I was especially happy to be able to help with was a black baby boy who had been born at 28 weeks. He had been released from the hospital, and appeared to be doing fine, but there was no guarantee that there wouldn't be long term problems from having been that premature. The agency had just a short time to get him placed before the state would have taken over and he would have ended up in foster care. They were so anxious to get him into a permanent home that they were willing to drop the fees to absolute rock bottom. Happily, within the week, a nice couple from near here were on their way to Florida to bring him home! He's a big, healthy, happy boy, now, doing well in school!

I know how frustrating it can be! When we were going through it all, I used to be tempted to go up to pregnant ladies and ask if they knew how lucky they were to know which baby was theirs and where it was, and that they would be able to keep it when it was born! I can tell you, though, that when you finally do find your child, you will know it! Hang in there and it WILL happen!