[loveajax]

So I am thinking about adopting #2....I was a little reticent because we spent so much money adopting our DD. A friend hooked me up to an agency that charges "only" $14K (I know that's a lot, but a lot less in comparison to what we spent!) for a "special needs" adoption (defined to include an AA or biracial (as long as partly AA) child).

So I am feeling guilty for thinking about using this program because A) I hate that it's referred to as a "special needs" adoption, these kids do not have a disability and B) the whole "discount" thing. On the other hand, I was planning on adopting another biracial child so I was kind of excited to get the money break!! I unfortunately think I need to think with my pocketbook, not my conscience (!!).

[DianeScraps]

I agree the 'special needs' title based soley on race is awful.

But, in our society that is one of the classes of children that is harder to place, and therefore has a lower fee (or free if you do it through foster care).

Personally I wouldn't stress on the reason for the discount, just think of the ways that the saved money can improve your children / familiy lives

Best wishes

Diane

[Linny]

I can understand the 'guilt' thing; but the fees that some agencies/attorneys charge now, combined with some of the 'expenses' paid out, are simply out of control! (The fees for adopting any child have risen incredibly over the past year, let alone the comparison from four years ago!)

Some agencies call other children 'special needs', while others charge incredible fees for children that will certainly require a lot of medical and emotional attention as they grow.
My question is: "Why can't they just LOWER the fees to something remotely reasonable, and allow ALL children the benefit of being placed in wonderful homes???
No, instead, they find couples who are willing to pay anything to anyone at any time.....and so the fees continue to grow!!!!

That's my soapbox issue I just had to share....and I wouldn't let this bother you. Consider that you are adopting for the right reasons, and let the agencies deal with their justification of what to allow, KWIM? They're the ones causing the riff; you just want another baby to love and raise. There's nothing dishonest or unethical about that!

Sincerely,

Linny

[loveajax]

Thanks, guys!!! It is insane how expensive adoptions can be....I still can't believe how incompetent our agency was and how much we paid them....!

[jennmomtothree]

We had the very same experience with our first. Then, with our second (only a little over a year later), there was NO WAY that we could afford the same fees. And yet, God blessed us with a child. I figure tht God's not interested in how much we paid in attorney fees, etc., so long as our hearts were open to the child we were being blessed with.

And THEN, when we got a call about our first child's birthmom (or first is now 3 years old) wanting to place her next child for adoption, we had to bow out, because we couldn't again afford the fees that first agency paid. And yet, we were again blessed, through a different agency that did not require such high fees.

So, don't feel guilty. God will send you the baby. Part of faith is helping to work things out...