[LilyG]

One of the issues dh and I are struggling with in choosing a country to adopt from is the impact on the child we adopt and our biological daughter. We were originally considering China because we want another girl, but are concerned about how the unwelcome attention will affect the kids. We are a blond family (my 2.5 year old daughter is as fair and blond as one can get!). We started leaning toward Russia for this reason, but want to make sure we aren't blowing the issue out of proportion before writing off China.

For anyone who has dealt with particular situation, what sort of problems have you encountered? I think our biggest concern is when they begin school/how other kids will react.

Thanks for your help!

[ocracoke]

You have to choose the country that works best for your family. If race is going to be an issue in your family then choosing a country that can give you a child that looks more like you is yor best bet. I am as white as you can get (German and English decent) adopted into a family that is half christian and half jewish. I have one cousin adopted from Korea. I have 2 cousins dating black men. I have a sister dating a black man. So in the end I thought any race would fit into my family so I ended up choosing Ethiopia. BUt you need to do what is best for you -- what you feel drawn too.

Best of luck
Samantha

[intladoptionblog]

I agree with ocracoke, but would like to add that what seems like a big difference at the beginning of the process can melt into a fact of life that's barely noticeable.
A family doesn't need all members looking alike to look like a family. A lot of love does the trick.
Where I live, many bio families come in all colors and no one gives a second thought.

[srusse24]

Originally Posted by intladoptionblog

I agree with ocracoke, but would like to add that what seems like a big difference at the beginning of the process can melt into a fact of life that's barely noticeable.

I agree! We are not adopting internationally, but race was an issue for us when we first began the adoption process. As time passed, and I realized how much I just wanted to be a mommy, race became less and less of an issue. I believe if you help to create a positive self identity in your child, he/she will stand more confident in situations where others are unaccepting.

I HIGHLY recommend the book Does Anyone Else Look Like Me: A Guide to Raising Multiracial Children. This will help with addressing some of those issues.

[LilyG]

Thanks for your responses! I have ordered the book recommended - it sounds like it will be helpful in making a decision.

I hope to hear from others who have dealt with the issue of mixing a biological child with and adopted child from another race. I am very interested in knowing what potential issues the kids will deal with as they grow up/go through public school together, etc. if our adopted child isn't blond/fair like our daughter (and us).

As I mentioned, our concern is the impact on our daughter and her adopted sibling, not our comfort level within the family. We can give them all the love in the world, but we have no control over what happens outside the home. We want to look at the situation realistically before making any final decisions.

Thanks again!