[maxkinzie]

This question was asked of me, CC, by a 8 or 9 yr old AA boy as he rode by on his bike tonight. Couldn't really tell from his voice if it was just an innocent question or what. IF it had clearly been a hostile question, what kind of response would or have "you guys" used? Most of what I've read seems to apply to adults, or kids to kids. I'm not really upset, more surprised that I didn't have a ready answer had he stayed for one.

thanks!

maxi

[traceyk]

I was asked that before and I told them simply "because that was what I wanted".

[Kellster]

Hi Maxi,

I think my answer to anyone, child or adult, would be, "Because I love her". That is the answer I would want my child to hear- and that's all that matters!

Kelly

[hotspice58]

I would have said "why shouldn't I have a black baby?"

[Imani68]

My CC husband was asked that by a vagrant (CC) using our church bathroom. He promptly explained that his wife was AA which is more than I thought the bum deserved.

[Kat-L]

Originally Posted by Kellster

Hi Maxi,

I think my answer to anyone, child or adult, would be, "Because I love her". That is the answer I would want my child to hear- and that's all that matters!

Kelly

That's a great answer, Kelly. I'll have to remember that. I don't get too many comments-but that would be a wonderful response.

[DebCsMom]

We've been asked too why we have black children. I usually am nice & tell them we wanted to adopt black children. One time a lady asked if we adopted black children because we couldn't get a white child????? Like it was our ONLY option so we took it! I simply told her, we could have adopted a white child but we decided we wanted to adopt a black child because they needed us more. In my head I said ( please take no offense), "anyone can adopt a white baby, we wanted a child who needed us regardless of our color. It takes a different kind of person to look beyond color & open your heart & life to a CHILD...ANY CHILD. Because I'm white doesn't mean I HAVE to have white children"

You know what I mean??

Deb

[HCsMom]

Funny, I was just asked this very same question by a CC, 7 year old girl. Out of nowhere she just looked up and said, "Why's your baby black?" I said " Because that's the way God made her and He wanted her to be a part of our family." To this she replied, "well that's OK, I like her anyway." Now WHAT do you say to that??

Frankly, I get more questions from kids than I do from adults. I get it from AA and CC kids. They are just curious and probably asking the very questions that the adults in their life wish that they could ask!

[traceyk]

I was at the ped. once and there was a boy playing near Drihan and I and he was CC. An AA mother came into the waiting room with her son and the boy looked at me and said "is that her Mommy?" I said "no, I am her Mommy" and he then said, "why." I just looked at hime and said "the same reason that is your Mommy". He was ok with that answer. Then recently this little CC girl walked up to Drihan and DH and started playing with her and laughing. I suddenly walked over and she stopped dead in her tracks and the smile left her face and she looked confused. She then said "is this your kid?" And we said yes, she then walked away with a perplexed look on her face before anyone could explain. I do think kids notice more mainly due to lack of knowledge yet.

[ethans mom]

1st off your baby sooooooooooooooooooo cute....

2nd answer to your ? " that is the baby god gave me just like god gave you to your mommy"

ethan's mom

[SanInUtah]

Originally Posted by DebCsMom

We've been asked too why we have black children. I usually am nice & tell them we wanted to adopt black children. One time a lady asked if we adopted black children because we couldn't get a white child????? Like it was our ONLY option so we took it! I simply told her, we could have adopted a white child but we decided we wanted to adopt a black child because they needed us more. In my head I said ( please take no offense), "anyone can adopt a white baby, we wanted a child who needed us regardless of our color. It takes a different kind of person to look beyond color & open your heart & life to a CHILD...ANY CHILD. Because I'm white doesn't mean I HAVE to have white children"

You know what I mean??

Deb

I love that post!!!!

Deb, and other's, I was prompted to come over here because there's a thread on the GENERAL ADOPTION SUPPORT board titled ""How long have you waited for a caucasian baby" that's taken a "...because our community won't accept blended families" slant.

It might help some perspective parents to hear the success stories of experienced adoptive moms/dads. Mosey on over...please???????????

[DebCsMom]

OMG!! I don't know how many times I have heard that. That is a bunch of crap, in my opinion!!! If you are a strong family & teach your child to be strong & love them unconditionally, which you already do because you adopted an AA child, then the community will GENERALLY be accepting also. There will always be those few who can't or WON'T accept it. So don't associate with that kind of person. There are MANY MANY MANY more families who accept our family than there are who don't.

We are involved in our community. Our children are involed with us. Get your children in community activities, sports, etc. From very young!! It'll be easier for them.

It's the family that you make & the love that you share & the environment that matter. We teach our children their culture & expose them to it as much as possible. But how we are as a FAMILY is what matters, not if the "COMMUNITY" will "ACCEPT" it!! That's a cop out in my opinion.

Deb

[kikibrando]

of those types of questions, I don't answer anymore. I simply counter with another question, "Why do you ask?"

[kjg]

When my kids were little, and they are now 13 and 16, I used to say, "well, I'm just lucky, I guess." Confusing enough that it stopped a lot of people. IF the kid isn't in motion you could explain that the baby is adopted which might be all he wants to know.

[Seabrady]

Adoptionlearningpartners.org has very good online courses covering various topics re: adoption. "Conspicuous Families" is a course that deals with transracial adoption and preparing yourself to respond to various situations that come up.