[Lexie]

I know it seems a bit late to ask this question, but we are hoping to finalize our baby's adoption this month and I have been thinking about the name we chose. We followed the same naming convention from dh's family that we followed with our first son. The baby has a Gaelic first name and the middle names are the names of his great-grandfather and grand-father ( we alternated between dh's family and mine). Both middle names are French (like dh). Now, the baby's bmom is 1/2 Mexican and I was wondering if when the baby grows up he would prefer to have a least one hispanic name. One of the baby's middle names has both a French and Spanish version, so it would be easy to change it to the Spanish spelling and it would still honor the baby's great grand-father.

Funny, now that I think about it, his name is currently very "ethinic" just not reflecting his heritage.

Do you think we should change it? On one hand he would have a name that has a tie to his heritage. On the other hand maybe he would prefer to be exactly the same as our older (bio) son.

Sort of along the same lines, I plan on both kids attending French school so they can communicate with their family in France and feel at home in France. I want to treat the boys the same so I thought both boys should also take Spainish as a third language.

Any advice on the name??

[Linny]

Personally, I'd name your baby what you want. I do not think I'd choose an ethnic name, just because you think the child will feel as though this was necessary in years to come.

And frankly, we've always felt that family names were much more important, and can easily give the sense of 'belonging to the family'. All but one of our kids has a family name within their name.......but the reason is that he was the first boy baby, and we simply could only agree on that name!

Do what's in your heart....he's your baby and your family now.

Sincerely,

Linny

[sneezyone]

I'm not sure what you mean by ethnic in this instance...sorry..re-read. I don't think it's particularly necessary to have a hispanic name. We gave DD a Greek name and there's not a Greek bone in our bodies.

[kat8eyes]

I am really big into names and meanings of names. If you are comfortable changing just the spelling I would say- why not?

[AdrienneG]

You didnt say what racial background your child is. . . all names are ethnic names btw.... cuz all names have a certain language background.

If your child is part Black, it doesnt mean there is anything wrong with a Spanish or French name, since Black people in Africa speak French in the countries that were colonized by France, and Black people speak Spanish in Cuba, Panama etcetera.

I wasnt sure what you meant by ethnic.

A Gaelic name sounds lovely to me.

[LadyBugz]

What she means is that her child is partly of Hispanic descent and the names they've chosen do not reflect any Hispanic heritage. Instead, the names they've chosen are anglo-European names (of Gaelic and French origin). So now she is second guessing if they should incorporate the child's own ethnicity into his name. For example: Duncan Javier could become Duncan Javiero, Aiden Montaine could become Aiden Montae, and Seamus Perrin could become Seamus Pedro.

I think I got all that correct!

My two cents: If it is very similar, I would consider the Hispanic middle name (like the first two examples I gave above). It provides a strong connection to his adoptive family (branches on his tree) as well as his heritage (the roots). What a great way to blend the two together-- a task you hope to accomplish not only in his name, but his life. But I wouldn't go out of your way to create a highly ethnic name that is distinctively different from the rest of your family, either. Lastly, I would check the meaning of the name. I wouldn't suggest naming your hispanic child something like "fair-skinned" or "red-haired" (unless those attributes apply).

[Lexie]

Originally Posted by LadyBugz

What she means is that her child is partly of Hispanic descent and the names they've chosen do not reflect any Hispanic heritage. Instead, the names they've chosen are anglo-European names (of Gaelic and French origin). So now she is second guessing if they should incorporate the child's own ethnicity into his name.

Yes, that is exactly what I meant. Thanks for helping me clarify. The baby is AA/CC (not sure from where) and Mexican. DH is French/Gaelic and so are the names that we chose.

Thanks everyone for the advice. I am leaning towards changing it. Just have to sell dh on the idea.

[debbys]

Duncan means dark warrior

[qs mom]

My son was almost 3 when I adopted him. He is of Roma decent. I kept his birth name as his middle name. It ties into so many things - the only thing his birthfamily could give him, a tie to his heritage. But he has a VERY Irish first and last name.

When reading his name, people expect a fair skinned, freckled redheadded child. Not, this dark, olive skinned, black haired child.

You need to do what feels right for your family. And how you intend to present your child's birth family to him. If you want to incorporate his birth family and you feel comfortable changing to the alternate spelling/name then you should.

[Lexie]

The change would be from Laurent to Lorenzo---

Still can't decide. Dh mentioned the fact that we sent announcements with the original name. I don't think that most people even remember middle names do they---so I am not so worried about that. I guess it would make a cute story for DS about why his name is different on the announcement.
hmm........

[LadyBugz]

1. Laurent to Lorenzo is a lovely switch!

2. No one knows or cares what your baby's middle name is. Even the miniscule few who remember are not going to be offended that you changed the spelling after some silly announcement went out.

3. Plenty of people change their kids' names after a couple months home when something else just really seems to fit the kid better. It is a humerous story to tell in the later years.

4. You nor the baby are going to suffer any long term effects for changing the kid's middle name.

5. Did I mention it will be a lovely name?

[qs mom]

My friend's parents told everyone that they named her after Aunt Myra. For years everyone thought her name was Kathleen Myra - even Kathy.

That is until she was about 20ish and mom confessed that she just couldn't name her Myra. Her name is Kathleen Mary, but she couldn't let the family know that her mother named her Mary, because when they found out, she told them the hospital must have mis-spelled it.

I think your 'interesting spelling story' is much better!

[qs mom]

Oh, which feels better when yelling at a mis-behaving child?

Make sure you choose the name that will roll of your tongue when precious overflows the potty, or eats the dog food, or trys to ride the dog, or something silly.

[LisaCA]

go with the name you really like. You have to use it for the rest of your life, lol, yell it, whisper it, lecture using it, sing it, etc, so it better be a name you like.

dd has a french first name and first middle name. her 2nd middle name is her birthname (shortened to fit). we like it, and there isn't a bit of french in us, other than a silly french last name (dh and dd share).

[ahimsa]

Our kids have two middle names. My son got a "family" name for a middle name, and my daughter got the girl name we had always wanted to use. However, we wanted something to reflect their African Heritage.

I found a book on African names. My daughter's first name means "of the moon" so we gave her a beautiful Swahili middle name that means "beauty of the moon". My son has a laugh that fills the room, so we gave him an East African name that means "full of laughter".

Good Luck!