[janders]

Hello all, We are in the process of adopting a multi-racial (cc, aa, and native american)almost 2 year old. I am cc and my husband is bi-racial (japanese and cc). We really want her to embrace all her heritages without overally confusing her. We also want her to have people around her that "look like her". Does anyone have any ideas about where to start. Also at what age do you start teaching her about all this, and how do you explain adoption to a toddler. Sorry I am feeling overwheled with concern for her well being. Any advice or experiences would be greatly appreciated.

I also could use advice for a good hairstylist in MN for her..... Her hair is nothing like mine! (thank god )

[PrayingMammaof4]

Hi there, my name is Heidi and I also have adopted a Bi-Racial baby. My husband and I are CC and my one sone is part Native American my 2 other children are CC.
I also have this concern for my baby, who is AA and CC and I just try to bring her heritage into our home. We buy her black baby dolls and at christmas time I look for black ornaments.
There is also a beautiful picture I would like to get of a black baby that I would like to put in her room.
I think books are wonderful and I really believe that once they start preschool, they will be exposed to other nationalities. My baby is also 2 and I really don't think at this age it matters to them.
Of course, as a christian I dont' think it should period. We have friends in our church who are black and so she is exposed every week. I dont' know if you have any museums in your state but here we do have african american museums.
I think anything you do as a parent is going to show them their heritage. If you are open about who they are and show them both sides they will learn.
I hope this has helped. I am still learning but am not too concerned at this time.

[redhedded]

We, too, are a multi-cultural, multi-racial family. I am Irish American; husband is Thai, and daughter is African American. I think you can embrace the complete heritage of your family without confusing your child; it is generally only those who do not know you who might be confused. For us, the key is exposure, exposure to other cultures, religions, life experiences, etc. We live in LA, a large and diverse community, where opportunities to expose oneself to differences abounds. We are avid travelers and readers and hope to pass that on to our daughter; we believe that these passions open the world to all children and adults.

I think when your children are born, you are focused on loving, feeding, diapering and finding sleeping patterns. Now, as a mother of a 19 month old, I spend much time with my friends, who are all shades, talking about toddler diets, bowel patterns, motor and language accomplishments and how to positively redirect the occasional temper tantrum. Our children just love being together. They are running, laughing and exploring the world. The fact that we, as mothers have many different life and cultural experiences, matters not one iota.

While some will view our daughter as a black woman, she will also be keenly aware of her Thai and Irish, German and Native American heritage; my husband came to the US following the Vietnam war. We believe that being exposed to the value, accomplishments, beauty, celebrations and spirit of all people gives children and young adults a sense of self, a sense of pride, a sense of strength that they then use to enter the world and define their own identity. The American experience, until recently, has been described only in the mass media by the Western European experience. Much has changed, and I believe that such an ethnocentric view is no longer the majority one.

Good luck in your journey.

[janders]

Thank you for the wonderful and beautiful advice. Unfortunatly on a visit yesterday with the biomom and her kids we felt very wrong about the placement. Something was not right and i felt I could not trust the mom. While we are grieving this I am hopeful for the future. I will take both your word to heart as I am sure they will be so useful in the future, as we wish to adopt multi-racial children. Thank you all and God bless!

[djb_97]

Hello!

I do live in MN., I sent you a PM with some resources that should be of help to you.

DH & I just entered the waiting family profile books so I do not have any personal experiences to share with you yet. Everyone has given you wonderful advice though.

Sorry to hear that this situation didn't turn out for you, hang in there and best of luck as you progress through adoption, keep us all posted.

Hugs,
Deb