[AudreyE]

Thank you!

Audrey

[SherBear2528]

We didn't really get that 'real' comment until our fourth child joined the family - he's a biological son. So people have said things like that as well as "and he's your own?" I just say, "well, they're all mine." And people say, "you know what I mean."
Most people don't mean anything by it, they just don't get the same education as far as terminology that we do as we go through the adoption process. It's interesting, but the more people we kindly educate, the better world we will have in the future.

[triciabn]

Next time anyone give you the "your not the real mom" thing....
Pinch them
ask them "did that hurt?"
as they rub their arm and say yes

"well see.... how's that for real? That wouldn't have hurt if I wasn't real!"
OR


"not real? Well then what the heck?! Why have I been changing so many REAL diapers?"
Tricia

[Shadowfaerie]

Originally Posted by heatherc11

I was at a new mom's group today(I was the only one who was an adoptive mommy) with my four month old son Jackson. I was having a conversation with another mommy about getting him to sleep better at night and she said " well you're not his real mom anyway" Any ideas what I can say to this without sounding rude myself? (Personally I wanted to scream but...)

Wow, I had nearly that same experience in a mom's group, how odd. Someone wanted to know if any of Angelina Jolie's kids were her "real" children and there I am with my adopted son sitting right in front of her. I just said "well, they're all her real children" and left it at that.

I wonder how getting a baby to sleep and not being his biological mother have anything to do with each other?? It sounds like she was just trying to be rude but had no witty way to be so.

[salisburymom07]

Remember this, anyone can give birth. That does not mean they can be a parent. Most people though don't understand adoption. Try not to slam people but rather educate them.

[musemoon]

"Oh my gosh, I left the real mom in the oven....be right back"

[DebCsMom]

I've had that said to me a few times. Usually I just say, "Yes I am their REAL mom".

We have 2 bio & 3 adopted. I get asked things like, "What do your real children..." Again I just say, "They are ALL my REAL children".

Sometimes I get asked,"What does their real mother....." I say, "Well, their BIRTH Mother...."

This one I love, "Are they all related?" DUH, you idiot!!!! I just cringe on the inside & say, "They have been since birth" or "They are now"

Get this one, OHHHH you'll love it!!!

One woman said to me, "You need to take care of your OWN children first" referring to our bio children!!!!!!!!! OH YEA! That got me going! You should have heard the rest of the conversation!!!! It started out ugly before she made that comment & it was the first time I actually got really upset & raised my voice at a comment like that.

My Mother In Law is great, too. She says she has 2 Grandchildren & 3 adopted ones. What an idiot!! DOn't even get me started on her!!! SHe says that when she even admits she has more than 2 Grandchildren (our 2 bio)!!!!!!!

Deb

[Shai's Mom]

I have a vanilla and a chocolate son. That raises eyebrows quite often. "Your older son looks just like you, but the little one doesn't..." When I don't want to educate, I usually say that he took after his grandfather. That usually results in "Oh, I see..!".

So annoying sometimes.

[TxMom65]

Yuck. No, it isn't about one parent being better than the other. It is about people who are igorant of social cues and can't carry on a conversation without being insulting.

I find it hard to be nice to people who are rude in the first place.