[mamabee]

Oh Shef---will you please write your letter again and have it notarized for my husband and family...you know the one saying that I must have my head screwed on right and have common sense?? I would like to frame it!!

All fun aside, email me at bherrington2@aol.com

[Lexie]

Originally Posted by whoownsthis

So how are we to know which box to check? Currently we just select the "Non-White Hispanic" box or just "Hispanic." If there is Black ancestry (and their likely is), it would be of Puerto Rican descent, so do we put "African American" for our oldest daughter, or continue with "Hispanic" for all three girls?

Here is just one opinion--
I would not put your daughters in different racial catagories for any reason ever. So all Hispanic or All AA. If those are your daughters in your avetar, then I personally ( as an AA/Asian that checks "AA") would put AA, but again, JMHO

[twoinblue]

Chiming in from the China boards.

My ex-husband was from a mixed background of black, white, and hispanic. He always claimed "black" on his paperwork. His whole family did. He probably could have passed for white and definitely for hispanic but the family felt like they should claim black which was their choice.

The problem?

People were always asking him if he checked the wrong box.

Other black kids growing up took great delight in telling him he wasn't really black and he felt defensive about it.

As an adult other black people disdained him because he was "high yellow" and a "wanna be" as they called him. He felt like he was supposed to be a part of their group but they never accepted him. His brother's had similar issues.

We decided that when we had kids we would classify them as "other" because that is what they would have been. It had nothing to do with trying to "hide the black" as someone put it.

I happen to think Tiger Woods and his parents are pretty awesome. Tiger has the right to call himself whatever he feels comfortable with and he should follow that instinct because he is always going to make some group unhappy with his decision.

[hotspice58]

As an adult other black people disdained him because he was "high yellow" and a "wanna be" as they called him. He felt like he was supposed to be a part of their group but they never accepted him. His brother's had similar issues.

I'm light-skinned a/k/a high yella and I didn't have those issues. My neighborhood was predominantly AA and I had friends of every shade. Please don't label all AA's as hating those of us with a lighter hue.

[jessicaj]

Nobody's raised the element of checking one box or another in terms of college/grad. school applications for their children. The checked box can make a difference, so why not play that card to one's advantage? People are going to "see" what they see, in terms of skin color and traits, but when it's so much harder to "see" on those forms where those boxes are found, might as well check those which play to one's advantage.

Jessica

[ahimsa]

A friend of mine is biracial (black and white). She checks whatever box she feels will most benefit her in that situation. She considers it one of the benefits to being biracial!

Good Luck!

[kakuehl]

Originally Posted by ahimsa

A friend of mine is biracial (black and white). She checks whatever box she feels will most benefit her in that situation. She considers it one of the benefits to being biracial!

Good Luck!

I like that attitude! I want to chime in here... I'm not a parent of adopted children of color, but two of my grandchildren are bi or multi-racial. My hope is that they will know and celebrate all of their heritage.

As a pastor I'm required to list how many members are black, white, hispanic (black or white), asian, etc.in my parochial reports. There have been years that I have refused to fill that part in because I feel like our attempts to be "inclusive" really are divisive.

There is a story of a Filipino child who asked his mother about the color of his skin. She told him this story: When God first made people, he made them out of clay and baked them in an oven. The first batch he didn't leave in long enough and they came out pale in color. The second try he left in too long and they came out very dark. The third batch came out a lovely light brown.

I guess that means that as a person of western European descent, I'm half-baked!

Happy Easter EVERYONE!
Kathy

[Luke Lonestar]

Great discussion, and very topical for me, as our son is biracial - AA and Asian. He is almost painfully beautiful, and most CC people don't realize that he is a Child of Color at all (at least right now, at 7 months of age). AA people know instantly that he is part AA, and almost always ask, after mentioning how beautiful he is, what he is "mixed with."

So, at least right now, "how the world sees him" is a really mixed bag. He is very light, has AA hair, and somewhat almond-shaped blue-green eyes (from a green-eyed Filipino bgrandma, it seems). AA folks tend to peg him as bi-racial right away. And he is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.

Maybe those forms need to be changed so that you can check more than one ethnicity!

This isn't an issue I had ever thought about when we were starting the process to adopt an AA child.

[LeighM]

Our daughter is NA/CA/aa and we think (not 100% sure on the AA). Mom a working woman.

My husband and I decided that we would not choose a race for our ad. We leave the box blank. As our daughter gets older it will be her choice to choose. Most people think she is hispanic. If strangers ask about her race we will them she is multi racial and leave it at that.

Some of you may disagree with our decision but it is what we have chosen to do.