[leaabc123]

Not sure if people were lost or losing interest but here we go with Big D's latest style:
Comments, thoughts welcome. The front and sides were redone today and the back has been in since Monday.

[joskimo]

nice braids - are you new to this or an old hand? I aspire to braid but at H's age, it's like hog-tying a greased pig to just get in an afro puff or two! That and her hair is toothin in the front for a decent braid.

[leaabc123]

Jos, those are actually the two stranded twists. I can't cornrow, it alwaysends up as half a french braid and doesn't look right.

I learned these from following the instructions in "It's all good hair". Big D likes to get her hair done. she will sit for 3 or 4 hours with just a few breaks. She doesn't like having her hair loose or thinking she doesn't look good. But she is also close to 4.

This was actually my 2nd attempt at the 2 stranded flat twists.

Little D won't sit still for more than 10 minutes so she usually gets puffs or 3 or 4 twists. occasionally I can get fancy and do connected twists

[whoownsthis]

Lea, are those two-stranded FLAT twists (connected to the head)? I'm curious because the scalp ends seem to be pretty tight. If I don't connect my gal's to her scalp, they'll unwind a bit at that end by the end of the day even though I twist them separately to the right, then together to the left.

Here's an unrelated question for those of you with older girls (or other moms who went through this phase yourselves): What should I do about my 8-yr-old constantly asking for me to let her "keep my hair down" (aka, "flat"). She'll want me to put the front sides in two puffs or barrettes, but then leave the back "down" or "flat." But as we all know, there's no such thing as "flat" when you have curly hair, regardless of your race.

As a compromise, I have done thin twists on the back section, but that's very time consuming and it doesn't look very good anyway. (Her twists don't stay as tight for some reason, even though I do them when they're damp).

Will she outgrow this, or eventually insist on a hotcomb or flat iron when her friends start to relax their hair? I have no intention of relaxing it due to everything I've read about how it weakens/breaks the hair (and the spirit of a young Black girl living in the dominant, White society). Curly hair is so "in" right now, even with the Pantene products. Yet I can't find any "Relaxed and Natural" Pantene products that will "define curls" without the added alcohol that is so drying on her hair. (There is a curl defining gel and a leave-in "smoother," but both have alcohol in them and are designed for fine, limp curls. Plus I don't think she's old enough to be able to pick out her girls if they tangle during the day, or be able to squirt more spray/gel as needed during the day. Isn't this meant for older girls and women?

I'm just curious what ideas others have come up with, or if this has become an issue for you, yet? Another girl in my daughter's first grade class told her she has "ugly hair" the other day. And surprise, surprise, this 6-yr-old African American girl has relaxed hair! Ugh. (I'm not mad at the girl, but at our society that tells her that "curly=ugly".)

[sneezyone]

Eventually, she probably will want her hair pressed with a hot comb or relaxed. Obviously, you don't have to give in and do either one, but the older your girls get, the more kids they'll run into w/relaxed or pressed hair and the harder it is to convince them that they don't want what they want.

My sister used to run around talking about how she wanted her hair to be "blond" and by that she meant straight and flat, not yellow. During that time we also lived in a predominantly cc community. My sister was/is a very sensitive person and wanted very much to fit in. To this day she wears a weave and keeps her hair light in color. I don't recall ever having those feelings, but then again, I grew up around more aa people, people who wore their hair in all sorts of natural and relaxed styles.

I say this to say that social acceptance is often more important to kids than the long-term health of their hair and there's nothing you can do about that. IMO, fighting it just creates more self-esteem issues. If you can swing it, try to find more aa hair role-models for dd or allow her to have it pressed for special occasions. That might at least offset some of the pressure she feels to conform.

[jandn]

What great timing for this pic! Lili's hair is very sparse in the front and nice and thick in the back and sides. For her B-day party today I did flat twists for the first time (and they're not well done....YET). She often pulls out snaps, barretts and bows (hence the sparseness in front) so I just put some in for the party. I had some gel in it and when I took out the snaps it still stayed all day. I think this is going to be her new dress up do till her hair gets longer.

[whoownsthis]

Thanks for the suggestions, Adrienne. I did buy a hair straightener (to try on the girls) with a spiral curl attachment (for myself), but after I tried it on my middle gal (with OilSheen lotion to "protect" her hair from the heat), I panicked when I saw the steam. However, she has much finer hair so it ended up looking greasy. I didn't try it on K, and I'm not sure I should. Of the three girls, her hair is the most dry (not bad, and not much shedding), but she also has the tightest curl. Is it worth even testing it out at this point? With three girls to get ready in the morning, I generally stick to easy styles like puffs, two twists or braids, and buns. On weekends I'll try the more elaborate styles and cornrows, but they don't stay very fresh looking, just 2 or 3 days.

[sneezyone]

Whether it's worth trying is sort of up to you. The steam is normal, tho (especially if you just put oil sheen in it) so no need to panic. Having the hair pressed can make it more manageable for some people (like me...I don't do hair!!). For my SIL, natural is best b/c she can cornrow like nobody's business.

Somewhere between 8-11 fitting in begins to matter a whole lot more than manageability, KWIM? And if the prevailing style is straight (among the ppl. dd knows) then that's what she'll probably demand.

Lots of people go with the pressing comb to assuage their kids desire to fit in and avoid using relaxers. My mom used to take me in once every couple of weeks to get my hair pressed and with proper care it can last that long. I plan to keep my dd's hair as unprocessed as possible for as long as she'll let me. We'll see how long that turns out to be.

[LisaCA]

braids and ponytails are little girl hairdos, lol. My guess is they want to look like the big girls. Dd and i will do battle on this if need be-hoping to take precautions and do cool adult hairdos and point them out to her early on, so she's less interested in pressing or straightening. and hopefully she'll realize she can do a ton more stuff with her hair natural than pressed or relaxed .

[leaabc123]

Lea, are those two-stranded FLAT twists (connected to the head)? I'm curious because the scalp ends seem to be pretty tight. If I don't connect my gal's to her scalp, they'll unwind a bit at that end by the end of the day even though I twist them separately to the right, then together to the left.

Yes, they are the 2 stranded flat twists. There are loose pieces in the front now, I smooth them down in the morning and at night with something I found at target called "twist and loc" gel. It is natural and light and melts right into the hair. What I did was make the parts one at a time, separating the hair with metal clips (like the salon uses). then pick up two small sections as close to the scalp as [possible and twist together 3 or 4 times, then pick up hair from the right side (about the same thickness as the hair already in my hand) and add it to the right strand. Continue that with every twist or every other twist until you want the twist to come off the scalp.

Not sure if that made sense without watching it. Like I said I got it right out of the book. The flat twists wouldn't work because they wouldn't stay tight or look neat for me.

My hope (if we get to adopt the girls) is that they will keep their hair natural. If they want relaxers and things like that when they are teenagers, they will have jobs and use their own money. In our extended family, most of the AA women have relaxed their hair but they do wear braids as well. Personally, I would rather they get locs than relax their hair. Healthier and easier to maintain, after they are passed the beginning stages.

[wishing4more]

Hi all!

I've been looking for hair snaps for some time and just can't find any in local stores. Any suggestions? Website?

I am so converted from "don't want a daughter because I hate hair" to "what can we try next!" My 3 year old loves braids and beads. She'll sit for a long time. My 19 month old hates to sit, so she usually gets a few puffs, with the straightest parts I can manage.

[leaabc123]

wishing, I will pm you with a website for the snaps that I have. They also have beads and barrettes.

[redhedded]

lea, My dd, 3.5, still is totally happy with her puffs and sometimes simply braided styles. I do think that what they see often is considered beautiful, and natural hair (afro and locs) are everywhere around us, so I too, hope dd will keep her hair natural for until she is an adult.

She will sit still all day but has asked that her puzzle working time and reading time DO NOT mean doing hair time.

[leaabc123]

Red, Big D likes having her hair done and I like that a style like twists or 2-strand flat twists can stay in for a week to 2 weeks. As, it can be time consuming when there are 2 heads of hair to do every morning.

[redhedded]

I think it is great, and you did a terrific job! When she is ready for something different, I would love to be really good at it but don't think I will. I never learned to French braid, though all of my friends were good at it.