[MuSuMom]

We have been match with a little girl who is Cambodian/Laotian. She is 1 yr old. Anyone know about the hair type?

She is local. She was born @ 24 weeks. She has been in a children's nursery for the last 8 1/2 months for medical reasons. She was declared "abandoned" by her parents, only a few weeks ago & TPR was then filed and she was free for adoption. Her only medical problem is she was labeled "Failure to Thrive", but since her parents have not been coming around, she has been improving. She has a feedingtube in at night, but during the day it takes awhile to feed her. Other than that, she is right on schedule for her age. She is a beautiful, bright little girl.

So, if anyone has any experience with any feedingtubes, I would GREATLY appreciate that as well.

We have a biological 5 yr old who is very eager to have a little sister!

Thanks!
~Jess

[redhedded]

Congratulations Jess. Sounds like your peanut is quite a fighter! I know little about g tubes, but there are some posters here who have a wealth of information. Hopefully they will see your post and share.

Hair, like always, is so individual. My dh, born in Thailand, has tons and tons of extremely thick hair; it is quite wavy too. Same goes for the rest of his family.

Best of luck to you.

[Linny]

Wish I could help you with the g-tube feeding. I have a couple of friends who DO know about this (from another board)......so I'll give a note about this thread for you.
In regards to hair: Our two oldest are Korean and Japanese. Both have very thick, straight, jet-black hair.........while my daughter's (Korean born) hair was not 'fine' in texture....it laid easier than ou oldest son's (Japanese)....who's hair is much coarser and tends to have a little bit of body to it.

In regards to the Failure to Thrive issue......I'd be doubly sure to do attachment parenting with your little one. Even if she seems to be attaching well......."wearing her"...can only help with the bonding and willingness to continue to thrive and do well in a positive way. This can be done by putting her in a front-pack...holding her often (even though she's older than a newborn), rocking her to sleep at night, and....if she continues to want to have a bottle, by all means (IMO) give her one and HOLD it for her. These are little tidbits of what attachment parenting is about.....but you may find more in books on the subject. (Sorry, I don't have one to offer at the moment.). Check with you local library or consult an attachment therapist with a good library and/or suggestions.

My best to you.....

Sincerely,

Linny

[MuSuMom]

Thank you both for the replies!

A little background is she was born at 24wks in April, was in the hospital until August. THen re-hospitalized in December because she was not gaining weight and was not eating. They (the hospital) found that when the mother came to visit her, she would try to feed her..but would get upset because the child would not eat. Then in Jan. the mother stopped visiting and has only been 2 times since then. So, the child was considered abandoned.

What I think is a good thing, is she isn't attached to her bio-parents. There is some small attachment to the staff at the hospital, but nothing that we can not handle. It is also, sad..because at her age, some sort of attachment to a mother should have already been built.

The "Failure to Thrive", so we are told is not due to any medical issue, but more of a mental thing of not wanting to live. Now that the birth mother has stopped visiting, they have made some progress with her. The hope is that once she is in our home, that she will continue to thrive and we can eventually do away with the G-tube.

I appreciate all the information and avice you have given me and believe me..I am taking it all in.

~Jess

[mckenna]

"What I think is a good thing, is she isn't attached to her bio-parents. There is some small attachment to the staff at the hospital, but nothing that we can not handle. It is also, sad..because at her age, some sort of attachment to a mother should have already been built."

this is most definatly not a good thing. children can transfer attachments but when they have no attachments at all it is very hard to get them to attach. i would recommend getting all the information you can on attachment parenting and start using it with your daughter asap. it is easier to work through attachment issues the younger the child is.

there is an attachment parenting forum on here, i would read some of the others posts.

good luck

[redhedded]

Jess, What a difficult exerience for this little babe. Being so premature is hard in and of itself; those babies need extra support due to the lengthy hospital stay with various caregivers. Linny and McKenna are right. This babe can benefit (like all babes) from attachment parenting; there is a lot of information out there about things you can do with any baby to enable them to be confident, secure and happy (not always of course.) Wearing her and co-sleeping might interest you.

The really great news is that she is still very young. Young children adopted internationally often have had a very similar experience and do great once they arrive home and are given constant one to one attention by their families. I wish you both tons of luck and happiness.

[traceyk]

I second what everyone else has said. We co-sleep with our baby and I love it!!! We wake up with her between us every morning and it feels like a little nest I am not sure if you are going to try breastfeeding (I am pesently breastfeeding my ababy) but that bonding would be great for you. Check out this site fourfriend.com/abrw some of the women there have had great results even starting with older babies.

[jen1mac]

Our bio daughter was born at 29 weeks. She was in the hospital for 96 days and she came home on a feeding tube. At first they are scary but once you are taught how to do them they are very easy and you usually have a call line you can call at any time if you have any problems. Preemies require a lot of work but are well worth it. If you would like to PM me you can with any other questions. My name is Jennifer.

[HappyTwinsMom]

Our twin daughters were born at 31 weeks and both came home with NG tubes. It's true, they can be a little scary at first, but once you get the training you need and get used it...no problem. Best of luck with your little one!

[icunurse]

I have worked with all sorts of feeding tubes in both adults and children. While I don't claim to be a "specialist" of feeding tubes, feel free to PM me with any questions if I can help you with anything.

[MuSuMom]

Thank you to everyone who has replied.. I did want to say that I am sad that she is not attached to anyone at this point, as I know that it is very critical for young children to build an attachment with a parent. At her age, not having one could be difficult, but nothing that we are not willing to work at.

Anyway, to update, we finally got to see her (Faith) on Wednesday. WOW! For a child who was born at 24 weeks, she doesnt show it. The nursery she is in, is a wonderful "homey" setting. There are some issues that my husband and I have that we discussed with the staff and with Faith's Caseworker, as well as our own.

The sad part is, as wonderful as a setting she is in, it still isn't the best. They are part funded by the state, but other than that it is donations. So, when I saw Faith's room, which she shares with 4 other babies.. she had sheet and one thin blanket. (needless to say, by that evening, she had a lot more!). Understandably, they are really not able to take the time to focus much on her like she needs, as there are 9 babies there that are younger than her and a 3 yr old. So she is either in her crib, a pack 'n' play, or the highchair about 80% of the time. Due to that, she is about 3-6 months behind for children her age.

Another thing that I raised concern about, and that IS changing, is when talking with the staff, I learned that in the evening when they put the G-Tube in her, they put her PJ's on backwards, tuck her arms inside her jammies and tie the PJ arms behind her back then leave her there for the 3 hour feeding. I am NOT confortable with that at all. So, with talking to the caseworkers, the staff and her doctor..and as her soon to be mom... that will no longer be happening. Either myself or my husband will be going there in the evening and holding her for the feeding. That also will give us great bonding time with her.

Also, the G-tube is only 300 calories of pediasure. Again, talking with the doctor, we are hoping to eleminate that all together very soon after she moves in. Only because I am a stay @ home mom, I can make those calories up during the day. So, keep your fingers crossed that it will work.

We have an appointment Monday with a visiting nurse who is going to show us how to do the G-tube. THen Tuesday is a Home Visit. After that, we will do an outing and maybe 2 more home visits...then an overnight weekend..and then home for good. We are looking at the 1-2 week of Novemeber to have her in our home for Good.

Our 5 yr old daughter is very excitied to have a baby sister. The two of them get along wonderful. The visit we had Wednesday, Faith fell asleep on my husband's shoulder and gave me lots of kisses. I really think this is a great match for my family.