[traceyem]

Hello all. I am new to this board and am hoping to get some advice. My 20 month old daughter is Black and I am White. I am concerned about her hair. I comb it every day with a wide tooth comb, oil or lotion it daily, wash it weekly and it looks good, but it is extremely short. It is also very thick and tightly curled. The ends have a tendency to break off when I comb it, no matter how careful I am. I find little curly love knots in my clothes all day :-)

I have been leaving her hair in an afro, but she looks like a boy (a beautiful one, but a boy nonetheless). I want to start putting in some sort of style and to help her get used to sitting for a style. What can be done with hair that is less than 2 inches long without damaging it?

I should also mention that I recently moved and do not have any friends yet and so have no one to ask for help. I feel ignorant and worry that I am a bad mother because I just don't know what to do for her hair. She's young enough that she doesn't care right now of course, but she will soon enough and I need to get a handle on this sooner rather than later.

Thank you
Tracey

[Rainbow mom]

My daughter is also mixed and the best advice I received was to take her to an AA hair stylist and pay for a consultation. They will show you the best products and styles. I found the shop I took my daughter to was thrilled that I cared to do her hair "right" She now has below the shoulder length hair.

[davinok]

Hi,

You may have found us already, but their are often discussions with hair tips on the transracial board of this site and on the aa adoptive parents board. Two books to reccommend are "It's all good hair"; "Kids talk hair"; and "Kinki creations." We found that little afro puffs were the best first hair do for our daughter, also headbands worked well in the beginning. Best of luck on the journey!!
K

[mommaluvu]

Hi Traceyem,

I am an AA woman. My advice is to also invest in a bristle brush as well. It's normal to see hair in the brush and on the comb, that's just dead hair coming out. Oil and lotion is not right for any black child's head. You want to purchase some hair grease, DAX for example is an old time that my mother used on my hair, which kept my hair healthy and thick. The grease usually comes in a medium size wide bottle colors of green and blue. Mostly use the grease for a scalp and brush it into her hair. This is also good to strengthen hair split ends, which you want to put at the tip of her hair. You do not need alot. Just put some on your finger tip and slide your finger down her scalp for each part. Use a small amount for her ends to. Oh, when brushing and combing her hair start at the ends. Hold her hair (even though it's short) where you are only dealing with the ends to get out any tangling. Once that's done you can start at her scalp (brush first and then comb after) and down to her ends. Get familiar with beauty salon stores. At her age and with short hair, just purchase some barretts and you can use these to give her little afro puffs with the colorful barretts. I also suggest, even though you have not state you did this, but try to stay clear of rubber bands, if you choose to use them be patient in taking them out. Pulling them out will cause her pain and here hair to break out. Also, never put them in too tight because that would end up pulling her hair out and would cause baldness and cause some serious damage. Hope this helps.

[mommaluvu]

Another type a grease to use is Blue Magic Hair and Scalp Conditioner "Anti-Breakage Formula". I still use this on my hair when I put my hair in extentions/braids.

[traceyem]

Thanks for the advice.

I haven't used rubber bands yet, although I have bought some supposedly "no ouch" ones. I read that if I soak them in oil and then cut them out rather than pull them off and try to reuse them, that's less damaging to hair and less painful to baby.

I tried a wide headband on her last night and she loved it - big grins when she saw herself in the mirror. I may just have her wear those or barrettes (if I can find some that aren't a choking hazard!) for a while.

[katieb31323]

Can anyone reccomend a brand of natural hair products to use on AA hair. I do not want to use products with chemicals in them on my little girl. I have used natural oils on my biracial DD with success, but here I am reading they don't work on AA hair. Why not? And this grease, what if the scalp isn't dry????? Why "grease" it? Wouldn't that just clog pours?

Katie

[mommaluvu]

Hi katieb31323,
Grease it like food for the scalp. As I mention to traceyem Blue Magic is really good it conditions the scalp and you can dab it on the hair, not toooo much, it's not needed. Also, what's her hair texture? Coarse, Medium, or Fine? Coarse grease works well. Also, how old is your child? At a certain age (recommended) 6 and up, you can have her hair straighten with a straighten comb at a hair salon. I never recommend perms until they are at least in their teens. I always cringe when people (mannny AA) put a perm in a childs hair at a young age. I know you didn't request that info, just food for thought.

[DebCsMom]

I found a couple diffferent products that I use in our girls hair. For our Biracail daughter I use The new Pantene products. So far they seem to work alright. Every now & then I put in a product called "Motions" It's a Hair & Scalp Daily Moisturizing Hairdressing. I also use that in our AA daughters hair everyday.

I also love the BLUE MAGIC grease. It's an anti-breakage formula. I use that everyday in our AA daughters hair. I also use what's called "DOO GRO" Medicated hair Vitalizer. It's the Triple Strength formula.

My AA daughter is 2 years old. Her hair is very coarse & thick. It's about 3" or so long. I have been told that AA children need their hair to breathe to help keep it healthy. That is why you see AA children with their hair in so many parts & ponys. One reason.

Some simple styles I use on her hair are I part it down the middle & then section it off into 3 ponytails on each side. It's really cute & simple. One of my favorites is to what we call "CONNECTS". Part her hair down the middle & gather one side into a pony just to keep it away from the 1/2 your working with. On the side you are working on, make another part about an inch or so all the way down again. From the top of head make a small section & gather it with a rubber band. I like to use all different colors that way it goes with anything she wears while that style is in. Make another section & before you put that in a ponytail, gather the first section & add that to the next ponytail. "CONNECT"ing them together and so on all the way back. Then do the next part, the next. Then do the other 1/2 of her head. I hope I explained it alright, but I've attached a picture as well.

Have fun with her hair, add clips, headbands, lots of ponytails, etc.

Deb

[DebCsMom]

I know you're a long way from this style, but I like to do this one on our Bircial daughter's hair now that it is so long. Not a good picture of all of it, sorry.

Deb

[traceyem]

Thanks everyone! The pics are very helpful (I am a "visual" person and need to see something in order to understand it).

Mommaluvu, I did get some Blue Magic and am putting it on Emily's scalp - thanks for the suggestion.

I did her first "puff" hairstyle yesterday morning, and she loves it. Throughout the day she would pat the little puffs and grin. And of course she looked absolutely adorable. I love working with her hair - it's so coarse, it really holds a style well once it's contained. She didn't love having them taken out, but I was afraid if I left them in overnight they would get tatty or worse, that an elastic would come off and she would choke on it. So I just got a small pair of scissors and cut out each elastic (not hard, since they were in quite loosely). I hope that was the right thing to do. Put the style in again today, and she didn't fuss at all. Next, I'll try using a comb to section it and make it neater since she is becoming so amenable.

Anyway, thanks again everyone.

Tracey

[michelec]

Tracey,

My 2 1/2 y.o. daughters' hair is very coarse, and very curly. I call them "boing boings". Her hair looks like it is about 2 inches long, but if you pull a curl our straight it is actually about 6-8 inches long. Her hair is extremely thick as well.

I have tried different products and styles. The one I am best is afro-puffs. It looks so cute with her little curls. I do all kinds of different designs with the parts. Sometimes I make triangles, squares, or zig zags. I use a the black rubber bands, but not the ouchless kinds because they seem to break very easily. I also use a pair of hair cutting scissors to snip each rubber band out.

Ruby is old enough now that she will hold the rubber bands and hand them to me as I am doing her hair. She loves to be able to help in the process. I have tried braiding and beading, but it takes me all day (with lots of breaks of course). Ruby loved the beads because they made noise when she shook her head back and forth.

Oh, I have also found the starting at the ends (as someone mentioned) a course boars hair brush works well, especially under water when she's lying back in the tub.

Here is a couple of different pics.
1- her hair in puffs at 16 months.
2- her hair left "natural" with a small side part and a barrette on the side (kind of hard to see)
3- a good look at the back at 20 months.
4- her hair in braids
5- her hair left natural with her favorite flower headband


Hope these help!!! and have fun
michele

[michelec]

Okay for some reason i'm not able to do more than one pic at a time. (i swear i've done it before)

sorry for so many posts.

[michelec]

and another...

[michelec]

and another....