[Chandini]

Hi! All,

We are a couple of Indian origin --- we have actively contemplated a trans-racial adoption. The Indian community is not color blind - but we don't really have that much interaction with the average Indian community for that matter. We were
keen on doing an inter-racial adoption at some point in our lives --- but the past week we have been wondering whether we need to postpone the decision - if I need to start looking at domestic adoptions where should I look first. We are not parents yet - this will be the first. Therefore, we would like to explore the possibility of a hispanic child but we were told that african american children are kept waiting for homes more than any other race - so we thought WHY NOT - we are still thinking why not.

However, we are too young for a 10 yr old etc. We are keen to start with a baby or a toddler - where should I knock first. Obviously, there are religious issues and a birthmother may prefer christians to Hindus etc. So it will have to be a non-religious organization. Also, where can I look to get a general idea on health related questions and other matters. Thanks much

[traceyem]

Hello
I adopted domestically but I can't recommend an agency, since you said that you were interested in finding one without a religious affiliation and while mine started out non denominational, they have recently merged with a Catholic org.

I found my agency by chance. I had surfed the net and had phone interviews with a couple of orgs, but none felt right. A member of my local single moms' group recommended her agency to me. I would suggest maybe joining a local adoption support group, attending meetings, networking, and see if anyone has some ideas for you. Word of mouth can be great.

Good luck to you. My journey to parenthood was very short (6 months) and it's definitely the best trip I've ever taken!

Tracey

[tobeafamily]

First, I want to be sure I understand how you're planning to adopt. There are two basic domestic methods:

Domestic Parental Placement - where pbparents designate you as the parents of their child. This is also sometimes called Private or Open Adoption, though not all have the same levels of continued contact. Almost all children placed this way are newborns.

Domestic Waiting Child/Foster Care - where you work with the state or an agency acting on behalf of a state to adopt a child whose biological parents have failed. Virtually all of these children are 'older' - from late infancy into teenage years.

If you're not sure, I'd suggest heading to your library and checking out as many books as you can. Some good ones:

The Complete Idiot's Guide to Adoption
The Open Adoption Experience - Lois Molina
Adopting in America: How to Adopt Within One Year by Randall Hicks
The Weaver's Craft - toddler adoption book

I'm sure others can recommend books as well.

Also, check out the Transracial board here.

Lastly, yes there are nondenominational and non religious based agencies out there. My best advice is to check out the "Agency Thread" on these boards and PM people about agencies they've posted experience with.

HTH

Regina

[Chandini]

Hi!

Thanks for your reply. I am taking a breather from the adoption work as it has been emotionally draining and physically exhausting. My peculiar circumstances make this process all the more challenging that an adoption would normally be.

We are open to all kinds of adoptions i.e. infant; open adoption; closed adoption and a waiting child adoption from the foster care system. regarding the last option - I have a general idea but I need to get a better understanding on how the system works - chinks and all - however, since we are going to be parents for the first time, I am doubtful of being able to rise to the challenge of parenting a child older than 4. We have been down the dear birthmother route a couple of times but felt a little played by the agency and decided to take a breather.

Thanks for your book list - am sure it will help immensely - we had worked with Catholic Charities for an international adoption - on the domestic front - they said they told us that they were a religious org and placed children on that basis. So we need to look for a non denominational agency.

[whoownsthis]

Chandini,
If you are still thinking of adopting, there are LOTS of Hispanic and African American children waiting for families in the state of Massachusetts (foster care). That state seems to be fairly quick at terminating parental rights, so they have quite a few younger children.

My husband and I were selected in January 2005 for three Hispanic girls, ages 7, 5, and 3, and they will come home after the school year ends in June. (Of course we inquired about them in July 2004! We were the 2nd family selected for the girls after the 1st family backed out at the last minute after being matched with another child they had been waiting on.)

We found our girls on the "Massachusetts Adoption Resource Exchange (MARE)" Web site (search for it on Google) through the "Online Matching" area. They never appeared on the photolisting for some reason, even though the parental rights were already terminated when we found them. So don't be discouraged if you can't find children in your preferred age range on the photolisting. The online matching feature will e-mail you children who fit your parameters (age, race, health issues). We received MARE e-mails for more than 40 sibling groups all under the age of 8 in the past year! Just be sure to call the adoption recruiter directly if you find a child you are interested in. And e-mail/mail your adoption home study to them right away. And then keep bugging them, showing them that you are interested!

Good luck!

P.S. Massachusetts is very fast with their interstate adoption paperwork! (At least in our case--less than one week!)