[JeannineW]

We seem to be having a whole bunch of new imaginary friends running around our house. I did a quick internet search but couldn't find anything helpful.

Is this normal for a 3 yo? Her imaginary friends vary from the friendly monster with red hair and blue eyes to DJ, Elise, and Skylar, who are her re-life but not present at the time friends. This is from a kid who is not very social so I haven't pushed bunches of playgroups and activities at her. She does have a few. Is this just normal behavior or does she need more time with real friends or a shrink?

She is also very ornery and doesn't care to do things that the group is doing. In her gym class, she resists/refuses doing the activity of the moment and usually plays by herself. Her ballet class has been a big flop. After two sessions, she's gone from participating most of the class reluctantly with me by her side (it was a mommmy and me class) to refusing to go to her independent class. She did sort of enjoy the independent class the first few weeks but now she will only go into the classroom if I go and then she sits on my lap. This is a fun class! All the other kids love it.

She seems to really enjoy just watching the group where ever she is but doesn't want to participate. I guess in that way she is like me. I've always been more of an observer. She plays pretty well one on one.

I have always defended her behavior. She is who she is. She is VERY independent. But now, I'm starting to wonder.... Is this behavior normal? Did I "make" her this way? Should I do anything about her lack of participation?

I'm starting to wonder. Any thoughts???

Jeannine

[A_mothers_love]

My daughter who is now 8 had an imaginary friend named Stacey, Stacey had a family, and sometimes they would come and visit. She started seeing her friend at the age of three, but I have not heard from her for the past two years or so. Imagination is a huge part of my daughters life even still, she is somewhat a loner and tends to befriend rocks, dolls, even her pet guinea pig, we all attend family councilling and the therapist said that it is totally normal to have imaginary friends, but it is linked to Trauma, my daughter was born two months early with a gastriousisus (intestines out of the body) and under went surgery two hours after birth, was in the hospital for the two months. So this could be construde as Trauma. It is also linked to attatchment disorder. I would look up both just so you are aware.
Hugs
Melissa

[A_mothers_love]

Here is a few web sites that I found for you.


http://health.discovery.com/expert/y...imaginary.html
http://www.parentkidsright.com/pt-imaginary.html

[JeannineW]

Melissa,

Thank you for responding. The websites were very helpful. Since this is my bio daughter, who has no reason to have attachment disorder and has never had any trauma that I know of, I guess I'll just keep cleaning up "Skylar's" scraped knees and stopping for "dinosaurs" while she rides her tricycle. I was actually getting attached to the little "monster" until we had so many other friends hanging around. Hey, it makes play dates a cinch!

Thanks again.

Jeannine

[A_mothers_love]

This is my bio daughter too, even non adoptees can have attachment disorder.
Hugs
Melissa

[klm4279]

I have a 3 year old daughter who has an imaginary friend named Lisa. When my daughter does something bad she says Lisa told her to do it. At first it kind of scared me. She would yell at me says im sitting on her. Ill walk in her room and she will be sitting up in bed talking to "her". I tried going to the web site someone posted and my dinosaur of a computer wont do it. Would you mind telling me what your doing about it, if anything. Thanks

[A_mothers_love]

That hits home for me, I have two daughters one 8 the other 5, My oldest daughter has the imaginary friend, when something went wrong or someone did something bad, my daughters would both say that it was my younger daughters bad stacey, my older daughter, well she had the good stacey, I have some very interesting memories of the bad stacey.
Hugs
Melissa

[lucyjoy]

Imaginary friends are a normal part of development. It's also normal at 3 to fluctuate between being social and clinging to mom or dad. Sometimes very imaginative children like to watch things from a distance. I would not worry about any of the behaviors you described and enjoy your child and her friends.
The stuffed animals in my house have a very active life. My son is always telling me about what they did.

[debsdone]

My kids all had imaginary friends and pets. My most interesting child, at about age 7 INSISTED that she and her real friend "talked" to each other in their heads. She would tilt her head and listen, the whole thing. So whatever works, LOL Love, Debi

[A_mothers_love]

How about having to set a place at the dinner table and a bed on the floor because my daughters imaginary friend was scared of bed bugs, It was horrible when I accidentally left Stacey at the store, what is worse I played into it and went back to the store for her.
Hugs
Melissa

[lucyjoy]

It takes a pretty cool mom to drive out of her way to pick up an imaginary friend. I probably would have called an imaginary cab to go get her.

[A_mothers_love]

Cool, or stupid I never even thought of an imaginary cab.
Hugs
Melissa