[cdr25]

My 22 month old has developed a HUGE fear of being bathed. I believe this stems back nearly 2 months ago to his last thorough hair-washing (I know...GROSS! It has been occasionally wet though.)
Anyway, he is too young to reason with. However, it is to the point that he won't even let me wet his back with my hand. He starts screaming hysterically. He yells, sobbing, "All done??!! All done??!!", and begins climbing out. He is inconsolable.

Last night, we let Daddy try. We even changed the venue...a SHOWER w/ DADDY!! It was even worse.

I know I've been letting him win. But how do I help him overcome this fear...or is it just defiance?

Any advice would be appreciated.

liz

[faith_amom]

My son (~ 18 months at the time) went through a brief fear of the bath tub. In my case, it was because I turned the faucet on while he was in the tub, and the noise scared him. At first, I thought it was defiance, but I quickly realized that he was sincerely afraid of the tub.

It took a couple of days, but I got him over his fear. We started with playing with the faucet. I asked him to help me turn the faucet on, and we practiced turning it on and off. This was with him outside of the bathtub and fully clothed, so he knew that he wasn't going to have to get into the tub. I was right there with him, laughing and singing and making it lots of fun. The next step was to have him help me turn the faucet on to fill up the tub. I kept talking to him gently, singing, and being silly to make it lots of fun. I eased him into the tub, again w/singing and laughing, and, within days, he was completely over his fear and back to normal. Now, the issue is getting him OUT of the tub!!

Good luck!!

- Faith

[janeliz]

I think the trick here is to determine what was so bad about the hairwashing last time? That seems to be the root of the fear. My daughter went through this a bit. She doesn't like being on her back at all, and I lean her back to rinse her hair, although with my hand behind her at all times for support and reassurance. Well, sure enough, it was really bad one time and I found out shortly that she had an ear infection and I'm sure it really hurt to have the water in her ears.

You are the best detective! Go for it!

Jane

I would suggest sponge-bathing your child for the time being, as "forcing" is seldom conducive to helping children overcome their fears. You might also try (if you haven't already) bathing WITH him. If he's not having any of that, you might consider letting him be the "bathe-er" rather than the "bathe-ee". Start by gathering up a few of his (water-proof) toys and action figures, and say something like, "These guys really need a bath. Want to help give them a bath?" Allow him to help you "bathe" the toys in the kitchen sink, or in a pan of water on the kitchen table. Encourage dialogue while you do this. You might say, "Do you think these guys are scared?" "Do they like having their hair washed?" "Do you think they feel better now that they're all clean?" Repeat this game daily until he seems comfortable with it; then move the activity to the BATHROOM sink. If this seems acceptable to him, then after a few days, try bathing the toys in the bathtub, with only about an inch of water. If he's okay with that, then the next step would be to suggest he get in and bathe WITH his toys. This will probably take awhile, maybe a week or longer. Just be patient; Rome wasn't built in a day. Hopefully in this way you can gradually ease his fears and sense of helplessness and re-establish a bathing routine. Many children have a strong aversion to hair-washing. If this continues to be a sticking point, you might consider getting your son's hair shaved, or cut super-short, just for the time being, for convenience sake. Then it would only require minimal attention, just bar soap (or no soap at all) and gentle scrubbing with your fingernails. Anyway, this is my best advice. Hope everything works out for the both of you. Sincerely, Ivy

[lambeausam]

Couple of things - maybe the tub seems to big to your toddler. Have you tried bathing him in the kitchen sink? Place a thick bath towel in the bottom to make a nice warm cushion and fill the sink. Take a few plastic spoons and cups and ask your son to help "wash the dishes." Hopefully this will occupy him long enough to sneak in a few wipes with the washcloth.

Have you or your husband tried bathing with him? Have one parent get into a new warm bath and then have the other parent undress your son in the other room and then bring him into the bathroom.

Also, what about soap fingerpaints?

After fostering and/or adopting 8 kids in this age range, i've noticed that this is the beginning of an independence surge. The toddler becomes aware that he can do some things for himself and begins to resent help. See if you can encourage him to wash his face, hands, feet, and belly. Take a dry washcloth and demonstrate on your own face, hands, feet, and belly. Not only does the child feel a sense of accomplishment, but you are also establishing a good personal hygiene habit. My youngest son in 3 and he can shampoo his hair and wash his body in the shower with very little assistance. He takes pride in the fact that he takes a shower just like his big brother.

Good luck and happy bathing!