[KarynB]

Hi all,

So I am going through a huge dilemma right now on whether or not to accept a job and put my 2.5 year old in daycare. I've found him a spot in a Montessori program 3 days a week. He does have some speech delays, so I am thinking it might be really good for him to be around other kids and learn some language etc. But, it also might be REALLY frustrating for him if no one can understand him. He is a real "mama's" boy and sobs whenenever I leave for any amount of time. I think the transition will be tough for him, and I know it will break my heart too.

So - my question is - in your opinion, at this age, is it "best" for the kids to be in some sort of social setting (we do swim lessons and playgroups too) or is it "best" for them to be home? Not trying to debate working moms or SAHM, I know some of us have to work for whatever reason, or some love our work and would find it hard to be at home all day. BUT - aside from all that, what do you really think is best for the kids at this age?

[karla-k]

My personal belief is that children are best off being at home with their mother full time. I have done both: work and put kids in daycare, and not work and stay at home with the kids.

I know that some kids benefit greatly from being in daycare, but I do not believe it is the best thing for them. It is not evil, just second best IMHO.

My kids went to a private babysitter who kept kids in her home. I know that she loves all those kids, but the love that she has for those kids is not the same as a mother. (I am speaking from the position of having taught school for 7 years. I loved my students, but not like their mothers did.)

I am speaking in general, and people will site all sorts of exceptions to "being home is best," so take what I say as the experience of one parent who has been in both places. I gave up a nice salary to stay home with my kids and don't regret it because I know that the best place for my children is at home with me.

[melissa_bear003]

I honestly believe that where possible, children should be at home with a parent. Dh and I worked opposite shifts to ensure that one of us was with the kids at all times.

Course, we're also a homeschooling family, so we don't see any real value to children being in large same age groups for extended periods for 'socialization' at any point in development.

[KarynB]

Thanks guys, I have to say - this is what I feel too. I'm not quite at the homeschooling point yet although I freely admit that is my own selfishness on that one.

Ok - so - next question - how do I get DH on board with this? Although he will support me if I decide to turn the job down, I know he really wants me to take it. We've had tons of financial pressure since I've been in school and I know he sees this as a bit of a light at the end of the tunnel, so to speak. He thinks that K being at home with me is best, but a good daycare (part time) is pretty good too. Any ideas?

[redbonec]

Maybe tell him how it will only be about 3 years when he will go to school (depending on when you start him). When my daughter was just a few months old we met a family with a girl the same age and her brother age 3 at the time. Tonight we went to his 5th birthday party. He will go to Kindergarten next year. Time flies.
Really, it will only be a short amount of time before your son goes to school, then you could take a job. If your husband could see waiting for just a few years, would that help?