[McNally720]

Hi Everyone!

Here's my question for the day--if you are the parents of siblings, how did the older adjust to the younger coming home?

MAM is doing pretty well over all, but she has her moments. For the past week, she will at times announce, "I am baby A! I am the baby! MAM is sleeping." And she will only answer to A's name. She wants to be cradled like him, which we indulge her in. She's also going through a phase where we feed her, and she feeds us.

Thankfully, she hasn't regressed on the potty training. She's actually rather disgusted that baby A "pees and poops in his pants".

Any good/funny/oh-what-have-we-done stories out there?? You can tell me. MAM streaked (well, naked on the bottom half) out of the house the other day when I asked her to please stop touching a baby gift (sticky popsicle fingers)!!! I'll understand!

[SchmennaLeigh]

Nick did decently. There was a period of one week in which Nick wanted to hit Parker any time we turned around but that was quicky nipped in the bud. They are now (2.5 years and 7 months) enjoying playing together. My advice is to remain consistent with discipline, set aside special time for the older and younger children separately and to encourage help when/if the older child wants to but not to force it down his/her throat.

[mommamarci]

I recently read somewhere if both kids need soemhting at the same time, go to the older child first. The baby will not realize the difference, but the older child will.

For us, Cameron was so young, he did not know the difference. One day there was no baby, the next there was. No adjustment issues. (Which was a huge part of the reason we chose to have another so soon. We just did not expect it to happen as quickly as it did...)

[jalapeno]

Nobody has any funny or interesting stories?? I don't have much to add myself. My daughter was 13 months old when her older brother was born and 17 months old when her younger brother was born. I don't think she was quite aware enough to understand what was going on. And I think at this point she probably feels like her brothers have always been there. I wonder though if she's starting to figure out that she gets treated differently - like she gets time outs but her brothers don't and she has to clear her place after dinner but her brothers don't. I wonder what she thinks about things like that. We do make sure she gets one-on-one time with both DH and I. And I try to point it out when she gets to do or have something that her brothers don't "because she's a big girl". My youngest is now 9 months old and the three of them are so adorable when they're playing nicely together (which, thankfully, is often!).

[ericamhc]

Originally Posted by mommamarci

I recently read somewhere if both kids need soemhting at the same time, go to the older child first. The baby will not realize the difference, but the older child will.

I find the opposite works better here - the 2 1/2 year old can wait a moment or two as long as I verbally let him know I heard him and will help him, but the 16 month old? He is complaining if I don't physically show him I'm helping immediately.

[ericamhc]

In our case, we are adopting a 2 1/2 year old and already have a 16 month old, so it's really how the younger one (Monkey) reacts to the older (Toddler). Toddler had some time where he needed a response immediately or would panic, but now I've found - as mentioned - he's ok if I verbally respond immediately but physically take a few minutes. Monkey though? He now demands to sleep in our bed, wants his soother all the time, constantly wants to be picked up (but then put down again), and is having a hard time with sharing toys too. There are short tussles when he will push Toddler and I have to keep reminding Toddler to be gentle and offering to "help him" so he doesn't "need" to push Monkey back. They are both used to being the center of attention and responded to immediately, and Monkey has never had to share his toys or space let alone his mommy. He doesn't understand sharing yet, although thankfully Toddler seems to grasp the concept to some degree. Toddler just moved in officially a week ago so balancing the two is a work in progress. I'll tell you, I'm REALLY glad I took time off work for this, it's certainly needed.