[MsTee72]

I need help/advice on how to get my 3 yr. old nephew to go to sleep on his own (without anyone in the room with him), and to stay in bed without getting up to come looking for me.

I also need help on how to transition him to sleep in the bedroom with my child (which has twin beds) rather than sleeping in my room.

I brought my nephew a roll away bed to put by my bed so he wouldn't continue to wake me in the middle of the night by crying in the room with my child. However, he won't stay in his roll away bed until he falls asleep. If I put him down to go to sleep he hollers and cries, and gets up to come in the living room with me. If I take him back, he still hollers & cries and comes back again.

So I tried letting him lay on the sofa (while I'm in the living room) and watch tv until he falls asleep, then I will take him to his bed. The problem is - he wakes up a few hours or so later and if I'm not in the bedroom he comes looking for me (crying & hollering). He won't go back to bed unless I am in the room with him. I usually have to lay with him until he falls asleep and I feel like I don't have any time to do anything that I need. I wish I could lay him down to go to sleep while I do what I need to, but I don't know how to go about getting him to do this. He was sleeping in his own bed and room before he started staying with me, but he won't do it at my home. He always says he's scared.

If he sleeps in the room with my child he won't be alone, but he doesn't want to sleep in there. And if i put him in there he will come in my room in the middle of the night and holler & cry. I have to work and my child has to go to school so I try to keep him from doing that.

Does anyone have any advice for me? Also, could you tell me what you think the proper bedtime for a 3 yr. old is? He does have trouble getting up in the mornings.

[mom2justynsarah]

Oh boy do I remember going through this situation with my son. We made the mistake of allowing him to sleep in our bed when he was 10 months old. He had been sick with consecutive ear infections. So it just became habit for us to bring him in for comfort.

I hate to admit, but his sleeping in bed with us took just about 6 years to break. Yes, I said SIX years. He is now 9 1/2 years old & although he doesn't sleep in our bed anymore, he still doesn't sleep in HIS bed every single night.

He has went from sleeping in our bed to sleeping on the couch (varying between his bed and the couch). If given a choice, I think he would jump back in bed with us in a heart beat. He just doesn't like to be alone. But he knows he is just way too big to do that.

With our second child (our daughter), we made it a point for her to get into the habit of sleeping in her crib, and then toddler bed every single night. She loves her room! Of course, she will come to our bedroom every now and then (and we let her sleep with us). But she likes being in her bed with HER pillow and blankie.

Here is what I suggest you do. First of all, he should not being going to bed any later than 8:30pm. Make sure he has a routine every night (whether it's bath time, then warm milk, or reading a story, etc). In addition, I would keep a tv and or radio in his room. When it's time to go to bed, I would put on his favorite shows and or music. I would also sit with him for awhile in the same room. Let him know you are there. Then shorten the time you are there every couple of nights. Before you know it, he will be sleeping in his bed.(HOPEFULLY!) I sure wish I had done these things when my son was little.

[Slatond10]

My DD and I are co-sleepers so I am not sure I have any useful information for you.

But you said he is 'scared'... Is there something that would give him comfort? A "lovey" like a stuffed animal? A special pillow? "Big boy" that sleeps in his own bed PJ's?

I guess I am bad Mom but sometimes I bribe! ( maybe a better term is "reward" ) Is there something he likes a bunch and you can offer a reward. Explain the Goal and then explain the reward. i.e If you sleep in your own bed all night long then we will go for icecream tomorrow!???

Wishing you luck!

[SchmennaLeigh]

We used The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers. Truth be told, he still gets out of bed at least once after being put to bed but usually no more than twice. We just quietly lead him back to bed and say goodnight and remind him that it's time to stay in bed. The bedtime routine stressed by the NCSS is really what made it work for him. Prior to this he was getting out of bed upwards of ten to fifteen times. He's now in bed, for the night, by 7:45pm at the very, very latest and stays there until morning.

[MamaChinch]

My dd would go to bed fine, but was waking up in the middle of the night a few to several times. She had asked for a fish, so I used it as bait...so to speak, he he! She is also 3.
We made a paperchain that she got to decorate with stickers and stuff and drew a picture of a fish in a bowl and taped the chain to it. She had to stay in bed all night and could break a link off. The chain was 10 links long and she had to stay in bed 10 times in a row to get the fish. It took 2 months for her to stay in bed all night 10 nights in a row. I added the links backs if she didn't stay a night.
It wasn't instant and she got up twice last night, but it's certainly better and she knows she earned her fish that way and she's supposed to stay put. She just earned it this week, we still need to go get our new pet! Just a suggestion.....