[loveajax]

DD had a history of biting. It was terrible, but she finally stopped in the fall.

Well, yes, it started again a couple of weeks ago (DD will be three in May). My SIL is my day care provider and DD has bitten her daycare mate (my SIL's other niece). It is terrible. SIL says she is sort of at her wit's end. I was going to look for a new day care situation (I can't have DD biting), but SIL keeps saying there has to be some "practical" solution (btw, she gives her a time out, etc. DD is definitely at the stage that she knows this is "wrong." This kind of behavior is usually (always) over DD wanting a toy that her daycare mate is playing with...it's absolutely ridiculous).

I would appreciate any practical suggestions. It's strange, because DD is "fine" with other kids, plays OK at the "Y" when we drop her off for babysitting, etc. (Her daycare mate is definitely not the aggressor though).

[mom2behappy]

if its usually over toys maybe having two of everything will help? biting is a stage im sure that she will get over.

[loveajax]

Mom, thank you -- my SIL is really good about that...Today it was literally over one of many blocks....it's just insane!!!!

[Slatond10]

First -- here is a (((hug))) for you. I am the Mom of a biter as well. Sometimes I think it is harder on us than the Mom of the "bitee."

My DD is 3.5 now. Her primary history of biting was @ 18mo - 21mo but it did re-occur @ age 3. Luckily VERY SHORT lived reoccurrence.

I did use "change of scenery" approach @ 21 mo. to break the pattern. It was her BEST FRIEND she bit and about 21 times. Playdates outside of daycare showed no signs of biting w/ friend? but @ daycare it did. However, the outside playdates allowed victim's Mom and I to observe their interaction and see what was going on. Victim was more timid personality but admired DD to the point that she wanted everything DD had as well as to be standing where she stood so she would push DD out of the way. DD lack of verbal skills to tell her to stop or "this is mine" were not in place so she used biting. I was able to teach her the "phrases" she need verbally.

As I said it did re-occur @ 3 and it was over a toy the times she did it. She was properly put in time out @ daycare. At home I removed all privileges to reinforce this is "bad", "unacceptable", "wrong" behavior. Since it is normally just the 2 of us we eat out / shop / etc... when she bit we went straight home!, no outside activities and no tv of her choice...etc. No candy! etc. If it was the time for gymnastics or near a b-day party time .. those activities were cancelled as well.
Luckily it was short lived and this only happen twice.

I have heard of Mom's allowing daycare provider to use something like tabasco sauce on the tongue when they bite ??? Not sure if you want to try this or not? I didn't! But if it had continued I would have tried anything.

Sending good thoughts and prayers your way that you find the key or secret that gets thru to your daughter that this is unacceptable. AND hoping that your re-occurence is short lived as well.

I do agree w/ other's that this is a phase and this too will pass. ( but that being said, that gave me NO comfort and something had to be done! ) Removing privileges seems so harsh @ the time but it got thru!

[loveajax]

Thank you so much! I heard the tobasco "remedy" and seriously, I am thinking about it if it doesn't stop.

Part of the problem also seems like the victim always "forgives" DD quickly so DD sees no real "repercussions" (blame the victim, hahah!). I am sort of hoping with warmer weather, they can get outside and burn off some of this fighting over toys? I just got "Teeth are not for biting" book, but DD doesn't seem to "appreciate" the message.

I am hoping this passes quickly as well. THANKS AGAIN!!!

[Marimar]

I think tobasco remedy if it works can be a good solution.

I remember when I was a kid, feeling like biting my friends. My aunt always laughes when she remembers me going to her and say: "they told me that I am acting like a dog but aunt I am not a dog". And she tells me that after I had told her this I never bite anyone again.

If your child feels like biting someone than only tobasco remedy can stop it. In her mind she may know that what she did was logically wrong but she may not stop herself/himself. So when you put her to time out, this will not take away her feeling or need to bite. Because wierdly you can call me crazy but it does give pleasure to children to bite until they fully understand that it really hurts the victim. So she should not remember pleasure when thinking to bite.