[tallgibb]

Hello,
Just curiouse what people do for disipline? What works what doesn't? I know it depends on the child ect. But if there are some ideas I haven't tried, i'd love to know about them!

Specificly our issue is our newly adopted dd 22m (had her for 2m now) SCREAMS and SCREAMS mostly related to her 34m sister but sometimes when we have to put her down or if she doesnt' get her way. (we are seeing the temper we were warned about).

Any suggestions? anything to try? We've tryed times outs in same room, 'shushing' her, telling her no screaming...

Thanks!
L

[HOPEFULINPA]

Time outs simply stopped working on my 2.5 almost 3 year old about 3 months ago.

Now he is responding well to redirection or a denial of something he likes.

For instance I'm having trouble with him hitting at daycare. I told him if he hit at school he couldn't watch the Wiggles when he came home before bed.

Boy did I have one sad little boy when it came time to face the consequences. But guess what? Next day he had not ONE instance of hitting.

[musemoon]

I have a 22 month old who lays on the floor in a tantrum if she doesn't get her way, being naked all day, not getting into a car seat, walking without my hand in the road...being some of her favorite "wants". I usually give her a choice like after being naked for a while "naked time is over, you can either help mommie, by picking out your top and helping me put it on, or not help mommie and I will use my body to put it on for you, I am going to count to three and you make your choice." 123...and then she choses.....usually she chooses the right thing....shocking! really, but sometimes I "have to use my body" ie....wrangle her into clothes, car seat, grab hand in street etc.

If she does tantrum, I just let her (unless in the street) and I step over her and tell her to tell me when she's done so that we can do something fun.

I have seen a lot of improvement in her tantrums and as time goes on and she feels she has more control over her situation I have seen the behaviors get better and better. Also redirection and taking time to have fun together also works, but there are just days when they have to get dressed, get in a carseat and stay out of the street...and mommie can't do playdough....kiddo that's just life :-)

[McNally720]

Time out can become a big game for Meg--in which case we start taking away things she likes (TV, fav toy, etc). By about two kids can definitely process simple "If...then" type consequences as long as it's simple and immediate.

I also try to give her two "good" choices for things she can have complete control over (choosing clothes, shoes, fruit, beverage, whatever)--choices she can feel in charge of --that makes her a little more compliant for when she has no control (carseat, safety issues, etc).

She does go through screaming phases, and then I try to whisper to her--she has to be quiet to hear me. Other times, it helps to repeat whatever she says she's upset about. Sometimes acknowledging helps her feel to be heard/knows we understand, etc.

22 mo and 34 mo--you've got your hands full!! Hopefully this phase won't last too long!

[atouchofheaven]

don't know if you are still looking for help or not. if so, you might want to check into some attachment parenting. you've only had her for 2 months and since she is crying when you put her down, it may be that she is still insecure in her attachment and environment.

my son did and sometimes still does the exact same thing. whining, screaming, crying, for no reason, or because i'm not giving him attention/holding him, or whatever. and the only (and i mean only) thing that worked was just holding him close to me until he stopped and calmed down. this also worked for hitting and throwing things too. i just sit him on my lap and hold his body close to mine and say positive things in a calm quiet voice. since doing this, there has been a huge change in everything about him. i had tried time-outs, taking away toys, putting him in his crib, being very firm, and everything you can think of. it all backfired and became worse.

if it's true attachment, the holding should help big time.

[Emster]

right now we are doing a few things. We have just entered super-defiant, whiney, screaming territory and some days EVERYTHING is a battle. (he's 21 mos). We consistently use time out--not nec. as a punishment but to just put a stop to whatever is going on. He sits in his spot and immediately becomes quiet and stays that way until it is time to get us (it is amazing and a true blessing) and it usually serves to keep us sane and redirect him. Then we are doing positive rewards for good things. For example, it has been horrible to get him to get into his carseat in mommy's car in the morning (he wnts to ride in daddy's truck) and he throws an all out hissy which wears me out before I've ever left the house. I've gotten some rewards stickers from CVS with Thomas, the Incredibles and Nemo--three of his faves--and if he gets into the carseat without crying he gets a sticker on his hand. It started out a little shaky, but definitely he's showing improvement and is always proud to show his sticker to his babysitter in the morning. Sometimes he wears it all day. Sometimes he chooses not to earn the sticker however, and does accept that.

I do agree with the previous poster however, that if there's attachment stuff going on that "Time IN" can work better than time out. Good luck!

[tallgibb]

Thanks for the replys. Things seem to go in waves, we had a good stretch there, then the begining of this week was a handful as well. It's just pretty hard with an almost 2yo and an almost 3yo.

If I would hold her all day, she'd let me, but that just isn't possible. I think today maybe i'll try her in the sling..see if she'll put up with that (she's super tiny 22lbs).
Thanks for the replys I appreciate it!