[CovenantMom]

Hi everyone,

Our daughter is wonderful... she's loving... she's so smart... she has a good sense of humor... and... she's strong-willed.

Any other mom's out there blessed like I am?

Susan

[AKMama]

Am I ever! Two times over, in fact! My girls are 3 and 2years old (10.5 months apart in age) so I have been going through the strong-willed behavior for quite some time now! Both are extremely strong-willed and boy can they throw some fits when they don't get their way. Yeah, it's big fun around my house some days. I just need to keep finding ways to channel that energy into something positive.

[ourdreamcametru]

OH YEAH! Castle is sooooo strong willed. Bad thing is so am I so you can imagine when we get going! LOL DH has to break us apart quite often and she's only three. birth great-aunt told me on the phone once that we would be fine as long as she wasn't as head strong as her birth grandmother, "oh great I told her, I think we're in trouble!" I do have to say that she has mellowed out a tiny bit as she has gotten older, when she was an infant she had a horrible temper, hopefully she'll continue to mellow.

[joelynn]

Yep...times 3! My 20 year old was very strong willed and more so as he is trying to find his way in the world. My 9 year old came out of the womb that way and so did my 3 1/2 year old. In fact I don't think I would know what do to do with a child that isn't strong willed. It does frustrate me at times and I have to battle my impulse to throw up my hands and walk away. Pick your battles and stick to your guns! Whoo! I'm exhausted already!!! ;-)

[musemoon]

My angel is 19 months and very strong willed. But loving and kind, just knows what she wants. And actually I prefer a strong willed child. With a little loving direction she will be able to hone her power and be a very influencial person one day. Personally, I'd rather have a powerful kiddo, then one I need to teach how to stand up for themselves :-).

[ocracoke]

Me too! And high energy on top of it. She wins because all she has to do is out last me. She is also very outgoing -- and like most almost 3 year olds believes that she is the center of the universe.

Samantha

[joelynn]

Originally Posted by ocracoke

Me too! And high energy on top of it. She wins because all she has to do is out last me. She is also very outgoing -- and like most almost 3 year olds believes that she is the center of the universe.

Samantha

Yep...me too!!!

[CovenantMom]

I've been reading "The New Strong-Willed Child" Book. The author goes into so many cases of strong willed children and how it affects the family. It's amazing.

If anyone else has read it or will read it maybe we could exchange notes

Susan

[maricela]

Oh ya...my DD is VERY strong willed & has been from day one!! She is also a loving & nurturing. But at the drop of a hat she goes off the deep end! She has gotten alot better but we went through so much with her. I use to lock myself in my room & cry when she was 2 & 3. I think 3 was worst. She keeps us busy!

I just adore my strong willed daughter! She will not let anyone push her around when she grows up!!

[Lovebug]

Dh and I were just having this conversation last night about our 3.5 yo. He is extremely strong willed. And even though it is so tough sometimes with also having an 8 mo, I love that part of his spirit and know he will make a great leader when he is older. He already does things his way and other kids tend to follow his lead. It is a power struggle and I am often exhausted at night! The book sounds very interesting...can you share some details?

[dragonfly1234]

I have to say you guys crack me up....in a good way...

My oldest was such a laid back kind of kid and still is to a certain extent. Then came number two who is the most active, strong willed, not listen and etc. kid on earth.

But we take it in stride. I love that each one is different (life would be so boring). They both keep life exciting and its never boring.

[rsbg]

My 15 yo son is a strong willed child. As a young child... WHEWWWWW, was it tough! But he has become easier to deal with over the years. I think his 2's and 3's are worse than his teenage years so far. (I say so far!!!!!! Don't want to jinx myself!)

But we had a Teacher tell us once (and it really stuck with us).... that a pearl can not be formed without that grain of sand to irritate the oyster. My son is that sand, and he will create that pearl. I soooo believe that is true.

Being strong willed isn't all bad. He has goals, ambitions, and a strong will to get where he wants to be!

[CovenantMom]

So far I'm on chapter 5 of the book. Here are some of my notes...

• Strong-willed children (SWC) aren't bad. These kids are less likely to give in to peer pressure when they are teenager and their rebellion drops almost immediately in the early twenties.

• The objective is not simple to shape the will, but to do so without breaking the spirit, by establishing reasonable boundaries in advance and then enforcing them with love, while avoiding any implications that a child is bad, etc.

• A child's resistant behaviours always contains a message to his parents, which they must decode before responding.

• Appeasement for a SWC is an invitation to warfare.

• Children tend to thrive best in an environment where these two ingredients, love and control, are present in balanced proportions.

• The weaker the authority of the parents when the SWC are young, the greater the conflict is in later years.

This is a quote from Dr. Dobson's book:
"The most urgent advice I can give to the parents of an assertive, independent child is to establish their positions as strong but loving leaders when Junior and Missy are in the preschool years."

I have ALOT of work ahead of me.

Susan

[Shai's Mom]

Regarding the strong willed child: How do I keep my 2 year old from climbing on the TV????

[pechocha]

My dd is 22 months and a really strong will child. There are days that are more difficult than others, and I could find myself locked in the bathroom too, but she is so loving, funny, and social at the same time.