[tobeafamily]

So....my darling DS, about to be 5 years old in a month, has started dropping the "F bomb" at school. First instance was Friday, when he told another little boy to call someone an "F-ing Bi**h". Teacher put him in big time out, told us, he cried and apologized to her. We did not put him in time out at home but both of us told him we never wanted to hear that again from school and that only stupid people used stupid words like that (of course Daddy does when he's driving...argh).

Now we're not language angels but we're very cleaned up since he's been born - except when DS drives and even then he's agreed to end it. He *was* after all a Sailor for 20 years and his work environment now is definitely 'colorful' so it will be a challenge. We've had a discussion since then about words to use in school, words to use at home, and words not to use. He seemed to 'get it'.

Until today....bring him to school, and the teacher (who was out yesterday) tells me again she was advised DS was dropping the F-Bomb "a couple of times" at school. *sigh*. Told teacher he was welcome to join big time out club, and he would get a 'ticket' from us (deduction of allowance) for any infractions. Not real sure any of that will work though. He gets shamed, but he doesn't seem to yet get that he can avoid shame by avoiding the behavior, it seems....

Help?! What have others found worked when dealing with this?

TIA

Regina

[dragonfly1234]

Regina, we don't get the words that your ds is saying, but I get the "I hate you mommy" and "your the meanest mom" and my favorite is that everyone is stupid. We have found the best that worked for us (he is now 6) is we keep a chart on the refrigerator and when we began he had to not say disrespectful things for 4 days in a row. We would also have a coloring book, or a package of pencils or erasers that he had been eyeing at the store. So it was an incentive for him to earn. If he succeeded we would then extend the next to 7 days in a row. If he failed one day he had to start over. His biggest joy was that he got to mark the X in the box his self after he would ask did he do a good job yesterday.

I don't know if this helps answer your question. Good luck. I understand how frustrating it can be.

Michelle