[JeannineW]

We are getting ready to pick up our daughter from Guatemala. I am about to enroll her in preschool for the fall. It's 3 hours a day 5 days a week. Anyone have experience with this? Is there any reason to think she wouldn't be ready to attend preschool in 6 months? I had planned on keeping her home another year just like I did my bio daughter but the director of the preschool says that 3 yo is the prime time for language development. Since she is switching from Spanish to English at 2 1/2, it seems like I should probably send her in the fall. My 4yo will also be there next year.

Any thoughts before I submitt her application?

[HappyMomAnna]

Our son is much younger we got him at his first birthday so our expereince may not be the same for you. We had him nine months before I ended up needing to have back surgery and he spent some time at his siters pre-school where he knew the enviornment and people.....I must say I was surprised in the signs he showed that his attachment was not as well formed as I thought it had been. It did set us back and I needed to work harder in several ways--he was angry with me and refused to come to me for about two weeks.

That was five months ago and during the past few weeks we have had him go to the pre-school for 3 1/2 hours two days a week and it still is rather upsetting to him. We send him because he is not talking at all and he is two. But his attachment is showing much better signs and not nearly as insucre as it had been.

With my bios I didn't send them to pre-school until they were four. When it comes to 'what' pre school people tell me I always try to remember thats how they make money--just like the guy at Mcdonalds asks me if I want Fries with that?

Three might be fine--and could be a great time to start but, I would follow my gut on this....remember you child is going to need time to attach and learn more english also......they say transitions take a year I might follow that as a rule more then her age.....

[3inCO]

I have a child development background which includes my license in Early Childhood Education and 15 years of experience at all levels within public and private preschool and Kindergarten programs. I am also an a-mom to three. It is true and not just a "side order selling point" that three is a good age to expose a child to language development. While the school I currently teach at works with 3-5 year old children, the county makes special exceptions for younger children with speech/language issues for the simple reason that the sooner they experience laguage with a peer group and get any intervention needed the better.

I wonder if there is a program that might start off the first year as a two or three day a week program? This might be a little easier than five days a week for a three year old. We do not offer more than three days for that age group.

By the way, while I do make a living teaching preschool, the money is pretty pitiful and MOST of us who are in the business certainly do not do it for the money and usually have the best interest of the children in mind. We are also not generally seen as "real" educators and I have to admit my feathers got a bit ruffled when being compared to the McDonald's employee trying to offer you fries with that order. (:

Becky

[alesha3283347]

hi my daughter goes to preshool 4 days a wek for about three hours and she loves it i have noticed great improvment in everything that she does. she love it and i im so glad that she is in it wouldnt change it for the world.

[ll_bay]

We brought our youngest daughter from India last March at age 3, and she started at the local school district's preschool in the fall. Because it's state-funded, they normally only admit 3-year-olds with special needs (most of the kids are 4), which she doesn't have, but in her case they made an exception precisely because of language development. It has done absolute wonders for her, and will probably eliminate any need for ESL intervention by the time she starts kindergarten, a good thing for all parties involved. And believe it or not, having our girls in school (her older sister started kindergarten less than a month after their arrival) has actually helped with attachment and adjustment.

[HappyMomAnna]

3inCO--I am sorry that my remark hurt your feelings that was not my intent. The truth is however that there are two schools of thought about early education and generally speaking the people who teach it do advocate for it which was my point. I have yet to meet an early child educator who does NOT feel that early education is not the best thing for all children.

The experts including Dr. Art on Attachement would advise first insuring that the child has a secure attachment. When it comes to issues of Attachment and RAD three is one of the milestones and a very important age. A child who has not formed a secure attachment by this age risks RAD and other issues therefore this NEEDS to be the most important factor over education for any newly placed child.

6-months may or may not be enough time to develope a secure attachment. Especially with a child who is being placed at this age. I would look at the situation prior to placement and if the child has had one primary caregiver or several? If the child was in any kind of gruop care. RAD is horrible for all memeber of a family to experience. It is the bonds that are formed before the age of three that make a huge impact on the children. Parents who are dealing with attachment issues often come to understand that many things in the normal development of our children need to be delayed or caught up on later.

During the 6-months you have with your child I would pay very close attention to the emotional development of the child. Many children do very well at this age--many children are delayed due to the life they had before we adopt them.... I would keep my heart on these issues before placing the child five days a week in pre-school. I also think that as a mommy we can get a gut feeling about how the child is doing pretty quickly once pre-school starts.

I am NOT anti-pre school at all--my two year old is attending a pre school program and I believe the benefits of an early education program are valuable. BUT, we need to keep in mind that adoption of a toddler is not the same as our bio child or a child we adopt as an infant.

I would ask you to research attachment and learn to identify the insuecure vs. the healthy attachment. RAD can have life long effects and it would be very sad to have pre-school trump attachment at the age of three.....

Just my opinion. I also have and Early Childhood education background and MS in Psychology and have raised two children, and am the adoptive mother of two children.
In our case we decided to give our adoptive 1-year-old a full year of time with our family before we allowed other caregivers to step into the situation. We did see problems when I had surgery and he needed to spend a week at pre-school. We were required by the state to put our 5-year-old into a 'school' situation and after a year and the adoption was final I now have the chance to spend one on one time with our daughter, it has been very difficult to bond and attach with her during the first year. She has been confused and often has said, that the 'teachers' were the boss of us! She has had confusion over who was her primary caregiver and I believe she would have been much better off had we been allowed to keep her home during her first year with us. In fact the only reason little brother has been sent to pre-school is to give me time to spend with big sister alone.

I always believe that some things children can catch up in over other things. Making a good attachment early with our children is far more valuable then issues that children can overcome later.

Sorry if I offended anyone but--we only get the early years once and three is a critical age in more ways then education.

[ll_bay]

IMHO, I think it depends on each family, and each individual child. Some cite that school hurt their attachment with their kids, others say it helped. Neither answer is right or wrong; just different things worked for different families. It probably depends on more factors than we can even begin to imagine, so the best any of us can hope to do is follow our own instinct and knowledge of our children to decide what is best for them. Remember, we alone know them well enough to make these decisions, regardless of the best-intentioned advice from the outside...