[Darci]

My sister has a little girl that turned 1 about a week ago. The little girl has started biting my sister hard when ever my sister takes anything away from her. Does anyone have any discipline ideas for a 12 month old? Right now my sister tells her very firmly that biting is not OK. That makes the baby throw herself on the floor and tantrum. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

[Teresa K]

Darci,

The memories that brought back. My oldest son was a biter....he would just walk up and bite. He knew it was wrong I think, sometimes it was like an urge, he would look at me, my leg or whatever and the teeth would sink in. I wish I had suggestions, but will say I talked to his peditrician thinking I had done something wrong. All he said is some kids will and make sure they know it is not acceptable. When he was about three his sister was born, first thing he did was bite her hand, and hard. I was furious and put him in his room and told him he could not hold her ever again if he did that. It never happened again fortunately . I had an uncle inform me I should bite him back, not sure I wanted teeth marks on my child that bad. Ironically he has a daughter that was a biter to a worse degree. She managed to get sent home from Kindergarden due to her biting. I hate to admit I laughed at that.....I sincerely wish your sister the very best of luck, and patience .. Teresa

[SomeBunniesMom]

I don't think there is one strategy that works on all children. Biting them back isn't really a good idea because it is a confusing message -- you are saying biting is not acceptable, then you bite them back? The fact that the child throws herself on the floor and tantrum shows that she understands that she has done something that her mother disapproves of. My girls also cry when they are reprimanded for something and everyone around me goes, "Aw!" but to me it proves that they get the point. if they didn't react that way, i wouldn't know if they understood they had done something wrong.

One of my girls was a biter around 12 mos old. I tired not to make a big deal out of it because giving it too much attention can also reinforce the behavior. One of the reasons for biting is due to the child not knowing a better way to express her anger. I tried teaching words that a 12 mo old could use "No!" "mine!" instead of biting and tried to show by example what to do instead of biting. I also explained that biting hurts, and said no biting, and also tried to stop it before it started by placing my hand over her mouth. The phase didn't last long, but it was pretty bothersome while it lasted. The best advice is to be matter of fact, don't overreact, and try to be patient and understanding. It's hard not to have the ability to express what you are feeling. At that age they understand so much and there is a lot going on in their little minds, but they just can't talk!