[Nebula_Rain]

Reality check ::

How many people who've grown up in their natural families ever actually sit down and thank their mothers for having given birth to them?

Or, more specifically, how many of the birth mothers on these boards have ever thanked their own mothers for going through the birth process with them?

Something tells me it's a small number.

Birth mothers can be very needy it seems. Moreso than even the infants they once relinquished ...............

Everyone on this planet was given birth to. That's how we get here.

It reminds me of the parents who say, "I clothed you, I fed you, I put a roof over your head, You should be grateful."

Sorry, but that's the job you sign on for when you become a parent. That's what parents do.

Besides, birth may come through mothers but life comes from an entirely different source.


- Grateful for life

[txrnr]

Now you're going to make me call my mom and thank her for adopting me. I'm fairly sure she'd hang up the phone, hop on a plane, and come check my temp. Thanks for getting me in trouble.

And on a more serious note... I thought one of the things we weren't suppose to say to our birthmothers was "thanks". Didn't I read that somewhere? Since I'm not in reunion, and not actively trying to contact anyone, I tend to get confused.

[jrainbow]

You are totally right ... very few people every say thanks to their natural parents for giving birth to them. But that doesn't mean they shouldn't. "Thank you" to me just means that you appreciate what someone has done. Since I was drilled with manners, I thank people for passing me the salt, opening the door, handing me a piece of paper from the copier. What my bmom and my aparents did for me is on a much higher level and certainly deserves my appreciation. And, no I didn't thank my aparents nearly enough ... but I did thank them for the life and love they gave me

Think how great it feels when our children express appreciation to us. Maybe what the world needs is more appreciation for all that others due for us in this interconnected world. Just an opinion.

[Nebula_Rain]

Your thought is so in line ....

"I thought one of the things we weren't suppose to say to our birthmothers was 'thanks'"

The overall feel I get from this thread is one of adoptees being grateful that their birth mothers didn't abort them ... though, in reality, timing is a huge factor. In the 50's, 60's, even 70's, abortion wasn't nearly as apparent of a choice for most young girls. And I can't tell you the number of threads I've come across written by women who became pregnant after already relinquishing one baby to adoption, only to abort the second child because they couldn't handle going through it again ............

[Nebula_Rain]

"But that doesn't mean they shouldn't."

You're absolutely right. And so well said. Though, and I'm sure you do see this, what I'm attempting to relevate is how those in the adoption circle tend to have higher expectations than one would even have in the natural world.
There's definitely an irony here that is worth exploring. Especially if it assists in healing the gaping wounds that are very much a part of this overall psyche .. birth parents, adoptees alike.

[wilted rose]

I was always under the impression, that this particular forum was for those adoptees who wished to express gratitude for their bmothers who made the decision to bring their babies to term and perhaps chose adoption as opposed to terminating their pregnancies. Seems logical to me?
Regards,
Rose

[Sniffles]

Rose is right it is for those adoptee who want to express their thanks to their b-moms for choosing life instead of death. There are many of us out there who were born and were put up for adoption when abortion was legal and I am very grateful that my b-mom choose adoption.

That being said, I actually have thanked my a-parents for the life that they gave me. I have also thanked my b-mom too. They never asked for the thanks, I gave it to them freely. I have realised, even more so now due to my mom's upcoming surgery, how much my a-parents really mean to me.