[Parker]

Hi there,

I suspect I may be a minority, in that I didn't want a reunion with my birth-parents (more of an explanation here: http://abetterlifebook.blogspot.com/...ns-please.html), but I did want to thank them, and let them know that I ended up with a wonderful family.

Here's the letter that I put on file:

Dear Wonderful People,

I want to thank you so much for giving me life. So far I have had an incredibly wonderful life thanks to your deep love and unselfishness. There is so much I want to tell you--but it all boils down to THANK YOU--because I have truly been blessed.

I supposed I should start at the beginning. After I was born I was sent to several doctors because I had a birth defect in my neck and they were trying to figure out what could be done. Then--on a hot summer day--my parents came to get me. I became part of a caring, loving family.

My parents were able to massage my neck back to normal. We discovered in my pre-school years that I also had a severe hearing loss in one ear, probably connected to the other defect. The doctors operated when I was five, but my hearing is still the same. To me -- it’s normal.

I remember a childhood filled with beautiful memories. I am a middle child and I love my siblings very much. I have always been very outgoing and got involved in everything. I loved camp in the summers and I have always been interested in animals and nature.

All this time I knew I was adopted. I knew ever since I can remember. And it’s a very neat thing. I don’t look at it as someone didn’t want me -- In fact, I know that someone loved me so much that they wanted me to have a better life than they could give me. I also recognize what a fantastic thing it is that my parents wanted me so much that they went through several interviews and a year of waiting to get me.

Yes. I wonder what you look like. Yes. I wonder if I have other siblings out there. Yes. I wonder what you’re like and the circumstances in which you had to give me up. But to be honest, I don’t think I ever want to meet you. You have gotten on with your life and I have gotten on with mine. I must admit, I have fantasies about what you’re like--and you probably feel the same--but I don’t think I’ll ever be ready for reality--sometimes it doesn’t work out like our fantasies. I do want you to know that I think about you often. I devote part of my birthday to thinking about you, because I know you’re thinking about me, and somehow I feel connected to you.

I am now happily married to a wonderful man and I look forward to having children someday. Who knows? Maybe we’ll adopt! Please let us know if there are any medical concerns that we should know about now or in the future. I thank God you made the right "choice," because as far as I’m concerned, there is no other choice. I’m proof.

Thank you very much, I’ll always love you for this great gift of life with such a wonderful family.

Love,
Me

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I put the letter above on file at the ageny around my 24th birthday. A year later, the agency called me. The social worker was holding a letter she had just received from my birth-father to me. I asked her to read some of it, without revealing who he is. His letter was so moving, I wanted to know more, but not too much. I asked the agency if we could use them as a go-between to write anonymously to one another. We did for eight years. You can read more about it at http://abetterlifebook.blogspot.com/.

Because you are interested in the subject of adoption, I'd greatly value your input, questions, and suggestions. Each note opens up a new door of inspiration to me as I continue to write this book.