[17n0n72]

Hi, I'm new here and it's wonderfull hearing from other adoptees. I come from a family with 3 adopted kids. Me (34), my brother (32) and my sister (28). I thank God that I was adopted by the wonderfull loving parents that I have. I'm interested in why other adoptees are happy that they were adopted.

I believe that familes brough together trough adoption are the best families that can come about. Everybody in my family would be total strangers, may not have even ever met, if not for God and out bmoms giving us up for adoption. Everytime I get jealous of my brother because he has his own family now, I remember how specail my family is.

What's your reason???

Matt

[Nicole28]

I am happy to be adopted because I have had an INCREDIBLE life. I am an only child, and I have traveled all over with my parent's and seen so many different cultures and locations. I went to a private school, I have had a car since I first got my license, and I enjoy spending summers on our boat. I can afford to attend college.

Most importantly - I have recieved SO much love. My mom and dad waited a long time to adopt a child, and they vowed to give me the best life possible. I have the most amazing extended families - I am super close with my grandmother, and my cousin Kelly is my best friend. If I had not been chosen by these wonderful people, I would never have gotten to have this much love from these awesome people.

THAT is why I am so happy to be where I am today.

[allabouthorses]

I am lucky because I have so many siblings! I have an adopted sister who is 10 months younger than me. We grew up like twins! We even had our own secret language! I also have 2 older adopted brothers. In my bfamily, I have 3 1/2 sisters! I feel very lucky to have all these siblings.

I, too, feel very, very loved. I hear so many adoptees speak about feeling unwanted, but I never felt that way. You can never really know if your arrival on this earth was really, truly wanted, but I know for a fact that my amom wanted me with all her heart. You don't go through an adoption unless you really want the child (or you're sick, which my amom isn't...lol). So, I felt lucky that way.

Also, I think I have a greater appreciation of family than most non-adopted people. I know that blood doesn't make a family, and I truly cherish my blood relatives. I have 2 very meaningful, loving families, and that makes me feel lucky. Actually, my bf's family is practically my own as well, so I actually have THREE families who mean the world to me!

Lastly, I feel lucky to have 2 moms. My best friend lost her mother to cancer a couple of years ago. Although it would be extremely painful for me to lose either of my mothers, I would find some comfort in the other.

[17n0n72]

this is GREAT...keep em coming

[court24]

IT SEEMS TO ME THAT YOUR A VERY LEVEL HEADED INDIVIDUAL AND THATS SO COOL. I HAVE A YOUNGER BROTHER THAT WAS ADOPTED TOO, BUT FROM A DIFFERENT FAMILY. BUT YOUR ABSOLUTLY RIGHT WHEN YOU SAY THAT WE HAVE A LOT TO BE THANKFUL FOR. WE HAVE SIBLINGS THATS BEEN THROUGH THE SAME THINGS THAT WE GO THROUGH. IT'S COOL THAT YOU'VE GOT SUCH A GOOD PERSPECTIVE ON THIS AREA OF YOUR LIFE CAUSE NOT EVERYONE'S GOT THAT GOING FOR THEM RIGHT NOW.
LATER,
COURTNEY

hi there,

This is a good thread and one that future aparents should read. Adoption is as unique and different as the people involved. Unfortuantly there are some people that are adopted that DO have trouble with it, that do feel rejected or abandoned. Thankfully, I was not one of those. I have often said that adoption was a very good thing for me, even after finding my birthmom and hearing about the situation she was in. I have always felt that my afamily is just that... my family. I have 2 brothers and one sister and we are all adopted from different famlies. We are all as different as night and day....but we are still family!

I have often said that fate was good to me.....I was very lucky....

[court24]

IT WOULD BE WONDERFUL IF WOULD COULD ALL HAVE THE SAME OUTLOOK! I AM HAPPY AND STABLE IN MY LIFE WITH THE KNOWLEDGE THAT I WAS LOVED BY MY PARENTS AND LITTLE BROTHER. TRUELY WE ARE JUST ONE HAPPY FAMILY AND LIVING PROOF THAT ADOPTION IS A GOOD THING. I'M GLAD THERE ARE OTHERS WHO FEEL THE SAME!! THAT JUST EXCITES ME TO NO END. HOPEFULLY EVERYONE CAN COME TO TERMS WITH THIS CAUSE IT'S DEFINATLY NOT A BAD THING. IF ANYTHING IT'S AN EXPERIENCE THAT IS UNIQUE FROM MOST PEOPLES EVERYDAY LIFE AND IT MAKES US SPECIAL!!! WE WERE CHOSEN TO BE LOVED AND TO ME IT JUST DON'T GET ANY BETTER THAN THAT!!!!

[missingmyboy]

As a forum buddy of mine would say..........cool beans!

I am a bmom who just placed my newborn son for adoption last month. Reading this thread makes me smile! Thank you.

Shelley

[court24]

I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU HOW VERY SPECIAL A PERSON YOU MUST BE!! I HOPE ALL GOES WELL FOR YOU. YOU HAVE DONE SOMETHING THAT TAKES A BUNCH OF COURAGE AND EXTREMLY SELFLESS. VERY FEW PEOPLE ARE CAPABLE OF SUCH LOVE AND KINDNESS!! TAKE IT FROM ME ONE DAY YOUR BABY BOY WILL MOST DEFINATLY APPRECIATE THE FACT THAT HE WAS GIVEN LIFE INSTEAD OF ABORTED LIKE SO MANY OTHERS ARE IN TODAYS WORLD. IN MY HEART I KNOW THAT ONE DAY HE'LL SEARCH FOR YOU AND YA'LL WILL FIND YOUR MISSING PEICE TO THE PUZZLE THAT WE CALL LIFE. I PRAY THAT HAPPINESS FILLS YOUR LIFE AND THAT YOU WILL ALWAYS HOLD YOUR HEAD HIGH BECAUSE YOU HAVE A BEAUTIFUL HEART AND NOW ALL THE WORLD CAN SEE IT!!
LATER,
COURTNEY

[javamama]

hey matt..and other "happily adopted" kids out there..

as a bmom who has found her daughter, and has discovered that she was raised by what seems to be a wonderful family, and has access to wonderful opportunities in life...summer home on a high-end island/ semester abroad/raised in a well-to-do surburb, etc...

Having such a safe/secure/loving family now, how does that make you feel about connecting w/ your bmom...like you're slapping your aparents in the face by turning outside of the home they've provided for you?? or adding to the love that you already have from your afamily, and wishing to connect and let your bmom (parents?) know how thankful you are for the life they gave you, and the decision they made to give you up and how well things turned out. ?

this is what i'm wondering, and can't quite figure out in the case of my daughter...and i know it's an age-old dilemma of the adoptee..the torn allegiance between afamily and bfamily. I think the point is especially amplified when the afamily has provided an extraordinary life for the adoptee..leaving them w/ the feeling "this is the thanx we get for giving you everything in the world anyone could ever ask for?"

any thoughts on this are a great help to me...

thanx!

[court24]

I DON'T SEE IT AS A SLAP IN THE FACE FOR MY APARENTS AT ALL. MY APARENTS ALWAYS TOLD ME THAT I WAS ADOPTED AND LOVED BY THEM AND ALSO MY BMOM. MY ADAD HAD A LITTLE MORE TROUBLE WITH THE THOUGHT THAT I HAD BEGUN SEARCHING FOR MY BFAMILY BUT IT WASN'T CAUSE IT WAS A SLAP IN THE FACE IT WAS CAUSE HE LOVES ME AND IS SCARED THAT I'LL GET HURT OR REJECTED BY THE UNKNOWN. MY AFAMILY PROVIDED FOR ME TO THE BEST OF THEIR ABILITY(AND I WAS A HANDFULL ALOT OF THE TIME) BUT IT WAS BECAUSE THEY LOVE ME AND THEY DON'T LOVE ME ANY LESS BECAUSE I WANT TO KNOW WHERE I CAME FROM!!IF ANYTHING MY AMOM IS EXCITED FOR ME AND IS JUST AS INTRESTED TO KNOW WHO THE WONDERFUL WOMAN IS THAT GAVE HER ME!!!!!
NOW IF ANYTHING I'M SCARED THAT MY BMOM WILL WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH ME. BUT I TRUELY PRAY THAT IT'S NOT LIKE THAT!!! HOPEFULLY MY BMOM WANTS TO MEET ME AS MUCH AS I WANT TO MEET HER.
SO MY REPLY TO YOU IS THAT THERE'S ABSOLUTLY NOTHING WRONG WITH WANTING TO SHOW YOUR APRECIATION AND LOVE TO BOTH APARENTS AND BPARENTS AT THE SAME TIME CAUSE BOTH PARTIES HAVE MAJOR ROLES IN WHO YOU ARE TODAY!!

[lisa191]

I don't know if any of you had open adoption, but if I do give my child up I know this is what I would choose. However, listening to your posts I almost feel like it should be up to the adoptee to find their bmother when they're ready. I would probably see her a few times when she is very young just to help me cope with the loss. However, I'm wondering if it may confuse them or make them feel a little unimportant if I only visit off and on throughout their life. I don't want them saying.. well, she was never around, and feel very sadened by it. I would be living in a completely different state, so visting would be difficult anyway. What do you think in relation to letting the child decide when she is ready to search for her mother vs visiting off and on?
thanks

[17n0n72]

For myself, I think it would be wierd to raised in an adopted home while knowing who my bmother is, much less seeing her. I think it would give kids a reason to say to their parents "well I'll just check with my bmother and see what she says". imho it was probably for the best to not know who gave me up for adoption until I'm old/mature enough.

[lisa191]

Thanks,
Yeah, I don't know how old you are now, but I was thinking about that too( "asking your bmom"). I think it is really important for a child to know they are adopted, and to know that they can see their birthmother, learn about their heritage and what not.. but when it comes to the teenage years I can totally see a child yelling at their amom saying how they wish they could just be with their bmom.. or say that the amom doesn't know anything because she's not their real mom.. I'm not sure though. I kind of had a rough time during my teenage years with my mom and am sure I would have used some nasty remark like that just to get her angry. I didn't mean to change the subject from "successful adoption stories," but I am really interested in adoptees' ups and downs as I think about giving my child up.
I have heard so many wonderful things about open adoption though. Are you completely against it? Open adoption doesn't necessarily have to be face to face. Sometimes, at least for the bmom, this can be really painful.. is what I heard.. But open adoption can also mean letters and pictures, just to let the child know that their bmom did not "abandon" them.. which I fear greatly. I suppose though that if the amom and adad do a really good job raising their new child they will grow up feeling loved no matter what, and know that their bmom gave them up for a good cause. so.. what do you think?
lis

[Cherry]

I agree with everything that you've said. I've had the most amazing life, opportunities, relationships- everything! And I am definately thankful and happy that I was adopted into my family and it scares me to even think that it could have been any other way. Stil... it doesn't mean that I love my birthfamily any less or want to meet them any less. In my opinion, resentment forms as a result of an unhappy life. However, because I've always been so lucky, I could never imagine not respecting the wishes and decision of my birthparents.
I'm in a closed adoption and definately think, that it's been a good thing!! I always knew that I was adopted... but I think it would have been confusing and maybe made me insecure if I'd been exposed to my birthparents at a young age. When I was 15 I was given letters from my birthparents, which helped me a lot. It is terrible not knowing basic things about yourself and your background I think that every child should have access to that... but as for open adoption... I'm not too sure