[TheIrishGypsy]

How do I file when I don't know how to contact my out of state ex husband? I have sole custody and he was not ordered to pay child support. I have not heard from him in 2 years in Febuary.

[KaliJasmine7]

Well I know that my childs bio dad (we were never married though) has never been around and has not seen her since 2008. We had to cite him in the newspaper where the child resides. You also have to sign an affidavit of due diligence stating that you tried to contact him and have no idea where he is. I also had to have an attorney ad litem to represent and try to find him. If they find him you have to serve him and he has 30 days i believe to reply and if they don't find him you proceed with an uncontested step-parent adoption.

[TheIrishGypsy]

How do I do that, though? How do I get the attorney and all? The only paperwork I can find is with the other parents consent.

[KaliJasmine7]

We got all our paperwork from reliableadoption.com they were extremely helpful and only about 350 i believe. It is still cheaper than an attorney and it saves you the stressful hours in the law library. They were pretty much like a lawyer too because they walked me through everything via e-mail. I am not sure how to obtain the ad litem paperwork because we paid for it so we knew it would be correct. Anyway we had to file all the papers at the court house. The first time we filed they gave us back the appointment for an ad litem and the homestudy. I had to refile those after the citation was complete but a different court system might do it different and appoint someone right away. In our court, the judge appointed the ad litem and someone to do the homestudy. The ad litem fee cost us 750 and the homestudy was 800 and the filing fees were 300 something as well. We scheduled our first hearing but the judge wanted us to have an ad litem for the child so he appointed someone then. You want to ask if the need to appoint an ad litem for your child so you know upfront because we were kind of blindsighted lol. The ad litem for our daughter cost 500. All of the prices can vary but that is a rough estimate. Oh and the citation in the newspaper cost us 198. It is a long process but well worth it in the end. I found it very rewarding learning all of this law stuff. We go to our final hearing sometime in the next couple of weeks I am so nervous and praying it all works out.

[KaliJasmine7]

I just noticed you said you have sole custody and he does not pay child support. Could it be possible they already terminated his parental rights?

[TheIrishGypsy]

I have never been told his rights were taken. I have signed papers from months before the divorce of his saying he wanted to give up rights, and a note saying he didn't want me to have his address, but nothing legal. But tax season next year, this is what we are doing! No matter what it takes or how long.