[MOMO]

My husband and I are trying to adopt. We started the process in November. Everything is going realy great. I just have a few unanswered questions. The adoption agency gave us a picture of a possible adoptee. We think he is just perfect. They said now the state will set up a "four-way". Can some one tell me why? He has been in a foster home for over six monthes no one else is asking about him. If we are approved and we have been and he needs a home. Why does the state need to find three other families that might want him. Is that not just trying to break someones heart? Has anyone been through this and can they explain why or how it works.

[jenna202]

I don't know if that's what they mean by "four-way". I think what they are planning to do is to set up a meeting with you, your worker, your child's worker and the foster family. Then everyone can discuss his needs and your ability to meet those needs. Just because he is waiting and you want him, does not mean that they will place him with you. They will spend a lot of time deciding whether you are really the right home for him. I hope that is what they are planning, and that things do work out.

The state is not allowed to wait for another interested family before moving forward. Usually, what happens, is that they discuss all interested families on the next staffing date, and if a family is identified, they will contact you to come in and read his case file. Then if you say you still want him, they set up a meeting with all the interested parties, then you get to meet him. Hope things work out for everyone, and NEVER be afraid to call your case worker ANY TIME to ask questions, what the next steps are, express concerns, etc. I have never seen a time when our case worker was anything but happy to have us be involved and interested in the process.