[F2AnJspCty]

This may be a stupid question. But, what do your foster kids call you? Even those children who are legal risk? I know it's not the biggest decision to make, LOL, but I keep thinking about it. Just wondering what some of you do....

[CRAZY_WOMAN]

I think they should call u by name.Aunt Sally,something like that.

[servnjah]

It really depends. I tell the kids my name. A LOT depends on what the kids already here are calling me. So, the first kids we had were very short term so called us by our first names. So when the three came, they did also. In time, they started calling us Mama and Daddy and so did the babies who came as some of them were switching over. We recently did a 2 week respite with a 3yr old who just called us Mama and Daddy. But the teen and 10yr old called us by our names (though the teen did try Mom out for size when he was hoping to stay).

Whatever happens. THey will move to mom and dad when they are comfy enough to and it makes sense in their case.

[nerd_dork_brat_head]

This was something the "Hairy Hubby" and I stressed about prior to our first placement, we however quickly learned it really doesn't matter what they call us as long as they say it respectfully. For us the words "mom" and "dad" just became another way for the kids to get our attention. We always introduce our self as Mr "Hairy Hubby" and Miss "me" let the kids know they can call us whatever they feel comfortable with.

[ttownzzz]

We are mrs and mr our first names. We are foster only and we have 2 young adoptive daughters. We tell them that we are watching kids for the mommies so why would these kiddos call us mom and dad and then they go away. I don't want my daughters to even think for a sec that we arnt the mommy and daddy or that they would be taken. This is a well thought out personal decision. Like I said we are foster only with no plans of adopting again. FYI I do not disagree or agree with anyone that likes to be called mom or dad or aunt and uncle by foster children it's a personal decision.

[jamG]

my hubby and I have talked about it, I think it is funny the things that we talk about when it comes to adoption. We are going with it depends on the age of the child. We are looking to adopt 2 kids age 3-6, I would love for them to call me mom right away but I understand that we might have to build up to that. I don't think you can make the wrong decision here, just do what feels right for the kids placed in your home and you guys!!

Best of luck!
________________
My adopt journey:
Information class 12/2010
application completed 10/2011
Pride completed 1/2012
Homestudy competed ???

dreaming of a sib set between 3-6!! (wish me luck)

[RowdyAtTheRanch]

Our now adopted sons called us mom and dad when they were only our foster children. They were two and three, and we introduced ourselves by our first names. We always referred to each other by first name and not mom and dad. But, after a few weeks, they boys just started calling us mom and dad. I'll never forget the day we pulled into the garage and my DH walked out to greet us and the boys screamed "Daddy!" It was just perfectly natural to them. We still referred to each other as Mommy _____ (my first name) and Daddy _____ (his first name) for a few more weeks, but the boys never used it. We thought they were going to live with grandparents out of state (they were never going back home) so we didn't want them to be confused. But by the time the grandparents came to visit the caseworker told them, "look, they call the foster parents mom and dad. It is what is is." They ultimately failed their homestudy and the boys never left. We adopted 8 months later, just before the 1 year mark.

[itri1972]

This is really hard for us. We just got a 3yo short term foster. I have 9yo bio at home and 4 grown children out of the house. It's very weird referring to myself as my first name in front of the 9yo, and yet its very weird calling myself Mommy to the 3yo. We're kinda settled on mama and papa as our names for the 3yo, not to be confused with MOMMY and DADDY. We did explain that we are the mommy and daddy in this house, though. That "mother and father" are titles, and lots of people are mommies and daddies to kids. He seems to be ok with calling me mama, though hubby gets called his first name a lot. It still all feels really weird.

When I was comforting him after a tumble, he looked up at me and said "You aren't my mommy." Not in a mean way, just like an observation. I said, "That's ok, I can take good care of you while you need it. And lots of people can love you, not just mommies." He goes "I like you," and snuggled under my chin.

Here's something weird, though. I have a hard time calling him his name. He's so little he doesn't use it a lot, and it doesn't fit him very well. Nicknames feel weird too. Calling him sweetie feels weird, but not calling him sweetie feels unnatural, too! Like "Good night, sweetie!" Starts to roll off my lips, and then gets all awkward.
So, guess what? It goes both ways!

But he's my first FC, so maybe I'm just figuring all this out.