[waiting4bebe]

Hi Everyone,
I don't know where to begin and how much I can actually explain due to confidentiality but I will do what I can. I have recently become a foster mom and my dh and I are so happy with our little one. We got our child through emergency placement and although our ultimate goal is to adopt we were told if we did foster we had better chances of getting a younger child. The placement is from CPS and there is not much info. on our child. I know it has only been a month and I am not getting my hopes up (not to say I don't pray for a child just like the one I have now) but I just want to know how much info. can I ask without seeming desperate. I speak regularly to my case worker and to my child's case worker and in different occassions I asked if they knew about how long we would have our foster child and one told me approx. 6 months and the other said it looked like it would be about a year. ???? I am just so confused because if I love my foster baby now so much after one month I can't imagine after 6 months let alone 1 year. I understand the probability of my child having RU is very likely since it is just foster but how can I find out more and am I allowed to ask questions without scaring them into taking my child away quicker? I know my agency cw does not know much at all because I relate everything to her but can I question my foster child's CPS sw? My foster baby has 2 monthly visits with bio and it is so painful. I know I am already attached .
Any advice or similar situations? I would love to hear about it. Also, I know the main goal for foster is RU but what does it really depend on? Bio seems so normal and I really don't understand due to the fact that I have no info. Sorry this is sooo long.
Thank You.

[accornett]

Don't be afraid to ask questions. It is your business to know as much as you can about each child placed in your home. Dh and I have fostered 13 kids under age 4 and due to the emotional pain it causes me we have decided to only do legal risk or adopt only. But I can tell you, with every child placed in my home I asked every question I could think of. It is your right to know. I actually had a baby boy 2 months old placed in my home and less than 24 hrs later he suffered a seizure and we rushed him to the ER, he was admitted and stayed for a week while tests were run. Turns out he had been born addicted to crack, heroin, and meth. No one told me!!!!!! 3 weeks after he was placed we found out he tested positive for Hepititis C. DH, myself, our newborn FS, and 3 yr old FD all had to be tested. FD was his bio sis. I don't know how they couldn't have known about the Hep. CRAZY!!!!! From this situation, I learned, ASK ASK ASK! If they don't have the answers, some one will. Do you have a casa worker? I have found that sometimes they will share info on service plans, RU plans, etc with you. And other times it seems like...... nobody knows anything. Good Luck!

[CaddoRose]

Ask questions of the CPS CW. You should know why the child is in care and if the parents are actually working their plan. You should also know if CPS is looking for relatives to possibly take the child too. If they find relatives, they will do a home study and then CPS will approve a move to them. I just like to know as much info as possible so I can prepare for whatever future might be coming. You are lucky with only to visits a month. We have one visit every week for an hour and it can be so hard on the kids. Asking questions should not make them move a child from our home because they want a child to stay in one place as long as possible until RU or TPR.

RU depends on what the parents do and where you live. I know even in the same state other places are not as hard core as they are where I live. Our CPS and judges hold the parents to a hard line and will TPR if they don't follow their plan. The parents are given a course of items they must complete that can include parenting classes for 6-8 weeks, drug testing, counseling, anti-violence therapy, getting a full time job, having appropriate housing and whatever else they think the parents need.

In my county it works like this:In general, you could expect a child to be in your home for 6 months(if no relative placement if found) because they usually give the parents 6 months to do their plan and there are a series of hearings set up on a 6 month schedule. If at the 6 month mark, the parents haven't done everything or keep failing, the court can give them another 6 months, so you could have the child a year. At the end of a year, the judge can order TPR or to return the child. If the judge orders TPR, the parents can appeal and get yet another 6 months, but at the end of that time, they can not get any more. The judge will TPR.

We all have different stories about how this system works and how long we have had children in our home before TPR. There isn't a one size fits all on this and no matter what, you can't know what will happen until the judge actually signs the TPR order. Things can change in an instant.

On the issue of confidentiality; we don't give personal details involving names or places, but we all give details about situations that we need help on without revealing who the child is. This is why we give your foster children initials or cute names to identify them on the forums. I have had Sweetpea and Bubba, Little Lucy and others and use these names when asking about help.

I would also suggest you talk regularly to the CPS CW and keep her updated. It really helps if you can establish a good relationship with CPS even if you are licensed with a private agency. I have to do daily reports on babies for my agency and I would send that info over to the CPS CW as well, just so she had the same info. They can use that in court.

[waiting4bebe]

Thank You for your response. I have to take my little one to see her bio's next week and I will ask more questions to the CPS cw. She did tell me there were no relatives to take the child so I can assume then that I will have the baby until 6 months at least, probably. Although, it is only our first foster child we will not do this again we will move strictly to legal risk and straight adoption it is just too emotional and like I said it has only been a month. Thank You Accornett and CaddoRose.

[dachshunds4you]

I was thinking they may not have 'all' the answers you're looking for. It's still early in the case. They may still be searching for family, which you can definitely ask them if this is the case.
I do my best to ask the CW status on the case every few wks. I don't like to be surprised and they call one day asking for the baby to go. So I usually will send an email to worker asking for update. Most have been pretty good about giving info.

I would be sure to not mention wanting to adopt this baby, or keep the baby, at all. This will definitely raise flags. Keep your questions general about the case.

Congrats on the placement!