[Binny]

I am sorry to hear that things are going so slowly for you, and I am shocked that it can be like that as that certainly isnt in the best interests of the kids.

[mich9768]

Well, we just got the call that we have been "un-matched". Texas emailed my worker and said that they are unable to place these boys with us due to the fact that our agency won't enter into a post placement contract with them. I called my husband and he called our agency asking for an explanation. They told him that TX had a 25 page list of requirements and they didn't have the staffing to meet those needs. They also told him that they had a situation like this in the past that was resolved using another agency in NC. I don't know why I am not getting the chance to rectify this with another agency. I even offered to buy their workers plane tickets to come here! It would take one day each time.....I have called Texas myself to plead my case but I don't know if that will do any good or not. I just don't understand and my heart is broken.

[txwannabemom]

I am so sorry.

[tctahoe]

I am so sorry for you. I do know that every region here in Texas is different. Of course already being matched you are already set on a region, maybe you can call the worker's supervisor and plead your case.

[mich9768]

I called on Friday to try and talk to the match person but she was out on visits. I left her a message and said that it probably wasn't proper for me to contact her directly (not via my cs) but was there any way to rectify this situation; I said I would find some one here to do the post placements, I would fly their person here, just please let me do something to rectify what my agency won't do. Because it was Friday, I then called back and asked to speak to her supervisor hoping they haven't called the 2nd best family (I was the best, right? I was the one slected!) and told them they were selected. The supervisor was out to lunch and the person that I talked to said I should talk to some other guy but he was out also. She said she would have the first person that came back from lunch call me......guess what.....no phone calls. I can't believe that we were selected and now because my agency won't do the post-placements they are going to flick us. They said we were the best family; why won't they even give us a chance to rectify this? Maybe it would hurt less if I could understand, but I don't.

How did we get so attached to a picture? I haven't even met them, talked to them or anything, but all I have done is cry because I lost them. This is why I couldn't do foster to adopt. My heart would break every time even though I could tell myself not to get too attached. I thought I was safe doing it this way. Every time I would see a new sibling group I would get my hopes up, but nothing like this.

I was selected!!!!!!! Why is it failing? I didn't do anything wrong. It is stupid crap between their agency and mine. What about me and the boys???????????????

[tctahoe]

I wouldn't get too concerned about them not calling back on Friday, that is pretty typical as I have found out from past experience. I would definitely try again on Monday and see where that takes you. I'm not sure of the region you are dealing with, I thought it was San Antonio, but could be wrong. That is a real sensitive situation you are in and very unfair for you. I am so sorry. I know our region can be a real stickler for their rules and regulations. We will have visits for 3-4 months before all is said and done and it's not because of us and the kids it's because of CPS. The kids are ready to move in now, but that's not 'their protocol'.

But I would definitely discuss this with the supervisor so that you can understand if they won't allow this....the reasons why. That really stinks about your agency too, I can't imagine what could be in the post placement contract that would make things so difficult unless there are tons of therapy or other things to adhere to.

Don't give up hope though. You've come to far to give up hope now, wait till next week and see what the supervisors say.

[theruhls]

mich 9768-
you have me totally worried now! I didn't know they'd do that so easily!!

[tctahoe]

Well, Texas has been known to do some crazy stuff.
We were selected before for a group, we went through the steps and basically the first visit ended up that we were bringing them home without a transition period. We went to the destination (a good day's drive from our house) and met the kids. We planned on staying at the spot for a couple days in case something happened so we would have support there of their cw, therapists etc. (sibling set of 3)
Well long story short, I got the flu the next day (bad), my dh got a kidney stone and we asked the cw for support that day, and the kids were taken from us that evening and we were never able to get them back. We did appeal, and went through all the meetings but to no avail.

But...that being said, I wouldn't get discouraged. and "theruhls" I was pretty surprised when you mentioned way back in Feb about the visits going to happen so soon especially with the redacted files for a group of 5. I know ours took 6 weeks for the group of 3 we have currently been selected for. So, I don't think it's out of line at all for the time it is taken for the out of state paperwork. I've read on these boards how the ICPC (not sure if that's the initials) take a long time. The cw might be on the ball, but the paperwork is sent to legal and they might be backlogged, we just never know and usually neither do they. I know it is so hard to wait and wait. Every day seems like a year, but don't let it get you down.

[mich9768]

Ok...need some advice. I think I am only going to have one shot at making my case and don't want to do the wrong thing. I left a message on Friday around lunch time. I know Monday's are usually crazy for everyone so do I not by pushy and wait for them to call or do I show them I really care about this and call?

[mich9768]

We received word today that the boys have been matched with another family.

According to Texas's own policy......The public child welfare agency in your state or another private agency can complete the post placement supervision for you. I know that you intended that your private agency could do it, but it is okay for another agency to do so. It just may take a couple of extra steps. There is no way that you could have anticipated this, but it can be worked out. I would encourage you to continue working with your private agency and the Texas CPS/ICPC staff to work out how you will proceed.

Wish they would read their own rule book. I do not think I will be searching in the state of Texas again. My heart won't take it.

[tctahoe]

I am so sorry to hear that. I just can't believe they would switch things up so quickly.

[mich9768]

We haven't given up yet. We are still trying to get someone to call us back but the only people that will call us back say they didn't make the decision. Ok......who is that person and how do I get in touch with them?

This stinks.

[tctahoe]

I wish you all the best and am sending hugs your way. It doesn't sound encouraging that another family has been matched already, they probably called #2. I'm not sure if you had read the redacted files yet or not but maybe there were many underlying issues that Texas wanted to make sure were taken care of in the post placement contract. Sometimes that can be continuation of services (obviously) or visits with family members etc. I don't know I am just speculating and trying to give you some reasoning for your loss. I am so sorry. I know how it is to get attached to a picture, I think we all do. Did you find them on TARE? Have you heard anything about this yet? Has anyone called you back? With as quickly as they made their decision in this, someone has to be around to talk to.

[mich9768]

We called in some favors from a friend and at least got an answer on why we lost the children. Part of the blame is with my agency. My agency, if you remember, wouldn't do the post placement contract. They notified the contract department of that fact on 4/15. They didn't tell me or my social worker that they gave their answer. TX also didn't tell the facilitator either. When the facilitator called my worker on 4/23 asking about the status of the contract, I guess the boys' worker had already gone with the new family but didn't tell the facilitator either. So, by the time we found out and starting trying to fix it, it was too late. That is why no one from TX would return our calls and why we thought we still had a shot. So, there was liability on both sides and the end result was that we lost the boys. I wish my agency had told us when they made that decision and I wish TX contract department would have told everyone involved. It could have been fixed had either one of those people communicated.

I am taking a break from my search for awhile. Thanks for all of the support and thoughts and prayers.

[naca]

I'm so sorry you lost the children like that! I can't imagine going thru that!!

{{{Hugs}}}