[2Mig]

What I have found out in our experience is that every state and even every region is different regarding the information you receive. TcTahoe, we are in the finals of two groups, both of which are in different regions of the State...the third group is in another state. I, like you, spoke with the case worker and told them about the other group. Since, there are no guarantees that we will even be selected, I asked to see what happens on the first group, before eliminating us for the second. And to Naca's questions. In all three cases, we have different levels of information.

Did all of you have to have the ICPC completed before you even visit them for the first time?

[mich9768]

We were told that we were selected for two boys in San Antonio. We are waiting for the package from Texas. We were told the next steps were to say we were still interested and then to go and meet the boys. I have so many questions about meeting the boys and what that process involves. Have you had your visits yet?

[tctahoe]

2Mig, you are right, it is different in every region in the state. The larger regions for the most part seem to do things in the same way whereas the smaller regions, 11, 1, 4, 2 ( is there a 9 or 10? )have their own way of doing things and what information they give out. Congrats on being up for 2 groups. I think it's all the better because you are right there is no guarantee. It just happened in our situation that I knew we were up for the one group we really wanted and we wanted to make sure we got a chance with them and weren't selected first for another group. That's why I spoke up about it. and we ended up being selected for them.

mich9768
Congrats and how exciting! You are in the process of waiting for the redacted files!
We have had 2 visits now in answer to your question. Our process has been going like this: Found out about kids on Nov 19th 2008. Submitted our homestudy next day. Emailed their cw on Dec 19th and found out my cw never submitted our homestudy, so actual homestudy submitted on 12/20! We were selected January 15th, 2009. We read the redacted files on 3/12/09. Presentation mtg was 3/19/09 and our first visit with the kids was 3/28/09.

During the presentation mtg the foster mom was present as was the cw and supervisors etc and we were allowed to ask any and all questions at the mtg. Not every region has a presentation mtg. Ours does. We are in region 6. We are actually adopting out of our region too so the transition time is really going well and is easy. Our transition period will continue until school is out (first week of June) then they will be placed with us. Our last visit was supposed to be a 2 hour visit but turned into a day visit as our visits are going so well. The initial visit was supposed to be a 2 hour visit too but that lasted for 6 hours as we got along so well.

This next weekend our 2 bios get to meet the kids and we have the day trip. Then the following visit will be their first overnight and we will be doing overnights from then on or extended visits.

So good luck to you! This is a very exciting time! We have been in this process for 2 years now so it's been awhile for us. But every region is different. I haven't dealt with the San Antonio region much but every time we had to from submissions on TARE etc. it seemed that they followed the same rules as our region. Keep us posted!

[2Mig]

tctahoe: We were matched with both and asked to select which group. Although heart wrenching to decide, we ultimately felt the same as you about our feelings for the group we really felt we would be the best for. We are "over the moon."

It has been extremely informative to hear the steps of the process, as we gave our answer on April 10th and will now await the next step. I'm not sure whether it is the full disclosure or a face to face meeting with all parties, except for the kids. We will not meet the kids until an ICPC is completed. We were told it typically takes 3 to 5 weeks.

2mig

[tctahoe]

2mig-How awesome! Wow, to be selected for both, that is pretty impressive. Of course I always thought we were the best decision until I found out we weren't selected because of some silly reason. ( We weren't within city limits or something like that!) That is awesome and I am so happy for you. What ages? and are they in Texas?

We just finished with our first overnight this weekend. It went very well. The kids are ready to move in! But we have to wait until school is over...they are all ready to start the summer football program for high school and get on the swim team here and made friends over the weekend and we colored Easter eggs and then hid them for all the younger kids, went to church and then relaxed for the rest of the day. They were really at ease and made our home theirs.
It was alot of fun. Our first overnight was originally for next weekend, but they bumped it up to this weekend since things have been going so well. That's where we are for now!

Can't wait to hear how things go for you and congratulations!

[Binny]

I am so excited for all of you. Can you share how the first visits went? What did they call you? What did you do? How did you answer their adoption questions? Were they stand offish or affectionate? Did anything happen that you hadnt planned for?

[tctahoe]

Well, the first visit started off so awkward! Nobody knew what to say or ask, but then we started talking with the foster mom and the kids cw just about things that we all liked to do and the kids started opening up and were real talkative. We are on visit #4 now. The kids were presented to us as the oldest not wanting to be adopted, but now after meeting us he is just the opposite. Our kiddos are 15, 12 and 8. The transition is going great. They have settled in well and have their rooms and are getting lists together of things to buy so they don't have to cart their belongings from their foster house to here each weekend! That way they have a set here and there!

Actually it was a surprise this last weekend because my brother showed up with his kids unexpectedly and my inlaws were here as well for their first overnight. You would never have even suspected that they weren't part of the family.

Did the issue of adoption come up? Well, my kiddos are older so they know all about how things work. No, it was never discussed. Pretty much these are our kids and that was it. Now strange fact here, the kids were actually taken into care only about 3 blocks from where we live 3 years ago. So people remember the kids and a lady actually stopped me on the street when I was with the 12 yo and said," oh I'm so happy to know they are okay" and I said "Yep, we are one happy family!"

So, really strange how things work themselves out!

[2Mig]

That is so AWESOME how your small this world really is. It is so heartwarming to hear stories like yours. It gives the rest of us so much hope.

I know what you mean about the "silly reasons" for not being selected. That's why we feel SO VERY fortunate and are the luckiest people on the planet.

The kids are in Texas and are 9,6,5 and 3. We are in georgia, so we'll have to wait on the ICPC before we get to meet them. We've been told that we can speak with them on the phone though. Of course, speaking on the phone does seem awkward, in an of itself, since they don't even know us.

Thanks for being honest about the awkwardness the first time, as we fully anticipate that. I liked how your meeting went with the involvement of the case worker and foster mother. That seems like it would help with the kids opening up.

When is school over in Texas? It is so cool that the oldest is now wanting to be adopted. That says alot about your chemistry with the kids.

[tctahoe]

Oh what great ages! Do you have bios too? We have 2 bios a dd and ds. 6 and 7 yo. So in all our ages will be 15, 12, 8 7, 6, and throw in the 2 cousins who are here every weekend 11 and 9 it's a fun time!

For the phone calls your ages work well i would think because they are younger and you can just say hi and how are things going, what did you do today, simple things really without having to think up conversations like we had to! Yes, the kids cw and the foster mom were there to help us out on the 1st visit, it was supposed to be a 2 hour visit but things went so well they let us take them out for lunch that day so it turned into a 6 hour visit.

School here in Texas gets out June 4th. What region are your kids in? We are in Region 6, Houston area.


Yes it definitely is a small world isn't it? The cw's didn't even realize these facts until we brought them up at the presentation mtg. But the kids actually still have friends in the area and of course they remember everything and it went well. Actually our crossing guard at dd's school was there next door neighbor...go figure..

I can't wait to hear how your experience goes. COngrats again

[2Mig]

What a great mix of ages. I would imagine your 6&7 year olds are really looking forward to having older siblings full time at summer. How cool that the kids still have friends in the neighborhood. It has to be a definite bonus for both you and the kids.

We don't have any bios, so this will be an instant family, hopefully come summer. We are adopting out of the San Antonio Area...hop and a skip from Houston We've been told that Behr County ends school somewhere from May 24-June 6th, so we'll see when we get the packet.

Thank you so much for your warm wishes and I am sending those wishes and congrats right back to you.

[frontporch]

We're told that the case files for the boys is finally in the mail. It hadn't been redacted prior to the selection meeting apparently.

School here gets out the first week of May, but my nephew goes into June down towards Houston. Not sure when the boys will get out.

[tctahoe]

Yeah, I hope you receive the files soon. Let us know how it goes.

[theruhls]

hey all. We are the ones who have 3 bio children and are adopting 5 more from Texas. figured I'd give you an update. let's see...NOTHING. A big fat NOTHING. This is taking SOOO long. I thought we'd possibly be with our kids by first-second week of March. Here it is the last week of April, and still nothing. The paperwork is taking forever. THe ICPC hasn't even been filed. Been told that it will get sent to NC by end of this week/first part of next week, but I've been getting told that for over a month now. Then they told me that ICPC could take an additional 1-2 months. I guess if I have any advice for anyone adopting out of state (now...evidentally my case was different because my adoption agency in NC, has NEVER done an out of state with TX, so a lot of other paperwork had to be done) is to plan on 6 months. If it's shorter, then be pleasantly suprised. My children still don't know about me, and that hurts. I worry about them and wonder if they are okay or wonder if they have will ever find a family, when in actuality, they have a family that has bought beds, dressers, bikes, clothes, toys and sit at dinner waiting for them every night. Holidays are hard, and we've missed out on 3 birthdays so far.

I keep trying to keep my head up. But this has taken sooooooooo very long. People just lollygagging and playing phone tag, and going on vacations....ugh. drives me nuts. I'm hoping sometime in June we'll get to go to Texas.

[mich9768]

We also live in NC and have been selected for two kids from Texas (San Antonio region). We have been told that we are waiting on the redacted files to be completed. Come to find out, we are waiting on the "post-placement visit" contract. Evidently TX sent their contract to my agency and my agency has refused to sign it saying that TX's requirements are crazy. My agency filed a complaint about the contract and was told that their's was not the first complaint. That won't help me though it might help the next family.

Now we are waiting to see what we can do. NC only has 4 agencies within the whole state that have contracted with TX in the past. We have to contact them, see if they will do it, see if TX will accept them and see how much it will cost!

This is nuts. We have been matched, selected and approved and this might fail because some counties require more paperwork than others. I am about ready to tell TX that I will sign an agreement to fly their worker here 6 times for the visits so we can get this thing done!

Their room is painted, beds are made, toys are ready. I have everything except them!

[theruhls]

That post placement contract is what has made this process so long for us. I'm not sure how crazy Texas is, in what they are requesting. I know it took a long time for it to be completed by my social worker. She said that it was little things, but never mentioned that she didn't agree with what Texas was asking. That's interesting. The contract is hopefully all finished and in,and is supposed to have all the t's crossed and the I's dotted by the end of this week. I'm look fwd to getting the email that says, "all is done! ICPC is getting sent out."
I feel so bad for you, with your agency refusing to sign it. I don't know what to tell you because I don't know who's right. I don't blame you for being so desperate and trying other options. You have come so far and are so close to have it all just get put on hold. I wonder if you COULD offer to fly the worker out here to NC...

I'm here if you need to vent...sounds like we are going through very similar timelines for kids. and both of us in NC, adopting from TX? what a coincidence!