[Wheresmyboys]

Originally Posted by 2Mig

My partner and I were just notified today that we have been selected as one of 2-3 families,whose homestudies will be fowarded onto the children's case worker for consideration in a staffing meeting. The sibling group of four is in Texas and we are out of state. Surprisingly, we have been given a significant amount of information already, i.e. pysch evals, personal histories of the children, etc. Has anyone else experienced this when adopting from Texas? Am I "silly" to think that "surely" this kind of information could only be given to thefamily anticipated to be selected? Also, has anyone ever been asked to attend the staffing meetings?

Any input is appreciated.

Congratulations on making the short list. We made the short list several times but was not picked as the top family. Each region does thing a little differently is what I found out through the process. With that said, we finally were selected for the 2 most wonderful boys. It did take some time and was well worth the wait.

We were not asked to participate in any of the staffings however our CW did participate in a phone conferences at each of the selection staffings to be our advocate and to "sell" us as being the best family for the children.

I think that you get a Little more information on the children when you are in the top 3. The purpose is to make sure that if you are selected that you have a good understanding of the children and their needs. Of course where you really get a feel for the children is when you read the redacted files with all the indepth background information, school information, physician reports,etc.

How old are the children and what region are they from? any idea when they will be having the staffing?

Again Congratulations and good luck

[2Mig]

Thanks so much for responding. And most importantly, congratulations on your family. How long have they been with you and how old are they? Did you adopt in state?

The children we are seeking to be the forever family for are from the San Antonio region and they are 9,6,5 and 3. We have been told through correspondence with the coordinator that the children's case worker will receive our homestudy and will have to schedule a staffing meeting within two weeks. The coordinator also mentioned that our CW and/or us may be involved in the staffing, but it sounds like from what you've stated, that we will have to rely on our CW to "sell" us....of course...nobody can ever "sell" you better than yourself.

I don't want to get my hopes up, but I can't keep myself from getting so very excited that we've been privvy to so much information...and could the same actually be given to all three families. I am pleasantly surprised that we've received at least 4-6 full pages on each child, as well as a cut-and pasted email from the foster mother as recent as Tuesday.

Thank you again.

[Wheresmyboys]

2Mig: Our boys are wonderful we met them Dec 6,2008 at their foster parents home. We had them for the weekend to get to know them better. The following weekend the CW flew with them to our house and they stayed the weekend(We are clear across the state). The next weekend they flew back(11/20) and have been here since. We were so excited to have them for Christmas.

They were officially placed(paperwork) on Jan 5 so we have 4 more months before the consummation of adoption can take place. the rule, as I have been told, is they have to be placed with you for 6 months.

Now on to your selection process..... the purpose of staffing (once it is narrowed down to the top 3) is to look at the needs and sometimes the expressed wants of the child and comparing this to what the families have to offer to meet the specific needs of these specific children. Of course I always thought we were the best family every time we made a cut. LOL With that said I am so thankful we were not picked earlier because the boys (8 & 9 yrs old siblings) are perfect for our family. I look at it as "It was meant to be". Of course at the time we were not pick for the others I would think what does the "chosen family" have that we don't have, What can they do better than us, whats wrong with our family in their eyes lol

You mentioned that the selection staffing may be in a couple of weeks so it sounds like it is moving right along. They are probably trying to get things set for the children to move over the summer which is a perfect time.The children wont have to miss/change school mid year, have time to meet some friends and get settled in.

Keep us posted on your progress. I think this board is what kept me sane for months and it is a great place to vent your frustrations with the system/process. It is nice to know that you haven't been singled out that many on this board have been or are going through exactly what you are right now. Guess what I'm trying to say is there is a wealth of knowledge and experience on this board.

Connie

[2Mig]

Connie:

I am new at these boards and have already found that it has been helpful to at least read what others are going through and receive correspondence from kind/ experienced people, ie. like you, who have been through it and are actually experiencing what our hope is as well.

I laughed at your response to being the "bridesmaid" and not the "bride." I know I feel the EXACT same way. I will keep you posted...please do the same.

Edwina

[frontporch]

(2Mig, my experience has been similar to yours as far as info)

This thread is timely for me. After a year and a half we had our first known staffing yesterday. These are kids we've waited on for quite some time. And, I feel like I'm going crazy. They expect me to work with all this going on?

We've been turning in interest forms from children on TARE and our worker (outside agency) on what I believe is rare occassions does submit our names. We put in on every family on TARE that met our bare minimum qualifications. Sometimes we'd get more information right afterwards that ruled them out for us.

Several times now we've received more information about the kids prior to any selection meeting. In the two previous occassions, the sibling groups of 4 had more special needs than we felt we were ready to deal with. (From 0 to 4 and severe special needs we think would be too much for us.)

These 2 brothers, we've actually been in contact with their caseworker on several occassions. Then, now that they feel the boys are bit more set, we received something similar to a HSEGH's. These kids do have some special needs for which they wanted to make sure we were willing to accept. We had what seemed like a million questions. . . 2 typed pages single spaced of questions. Their caseworker called us and took nearly an hour to answer our questions. Then we met with our caseworker had few other questions for her to ask during the staffing. We were given more info following the staffing yesterday and told they felt they'd reach a decision next week. Not sure how many other families were being considered.

I would imagine the amount of information you are given would depend on the children. I.e. children with greater special needs

But based on our experience, I do believe you can get information prior to selection. Ask questions as soon and as often as you can.

[triciansil]

Originally Posted by theruhls

It sounds as if we are in the same boat you are. Hoping to find out this week if we were chosen for a sibling group of 5. I have heard so many different stories when it comes to ICPC, number of visits required, when they will start... do you have any info on that? Maybe we can help each other out.

us to! We are in AZ waiting to hear back on a staffing date for a sibling group of 3- it is nerve wracking!!! This part is much more emotional then I thought it was going to be. I was fine until my CW told me the names and birthdates of the kids...my days have been really LONG lately

[triciansil]

congrats!! Let us know how you tell the hubby

[triciansil]

Originally Posted by triciansil

congrats!! Let us know how you tell the hubby

apparently I don't know how to use a message board- I thought i was responding to a new post lol

[frontporch]

It has been so nice to read about everyone's experiences here. What a great prep for us!

We were just selected last week for two little boys that have been in my heart for 2 years now. We don't yet have a time frame for visitations yet but I can't wait.

We're pretty much hoping that we can delay the placement in our home until the first part of June. I really don't want them to have to move schools with a month or less of school left. But, we'll see. Then again, they'd have an idea of what the place will be like the next year.

[Binny]

I take it you are doing your adoption in the same state you live in? Yeah, I can see both sides; them getting to know the new school and them getting to finish out the old one. I am sure either way their CW will do the transition in the best way for your boys. Congrats!

[tctahoe]

That's wonderful that you were selected. That's been a long wait. We just began our visits with the group we were selected for in January. Last week was our first visit. We are waiting too for the end of the school year for placement. Can't wait to hear how it goes!

[2Mig]

FrontPorch/ Tctahoe:

That is fantastic news on you being selected. Congratulations. And like Tctahoe said, what a wait. It is agonizing, but I'm sure, more so for the children. We are in the finals for three groups. In addition to the agony of waiting, we fear that the staffing committees will automatically eliminate us for one group, knowing we're already being considered for another. Are you and/ or Tctahoe, both trying to adopt within your state or out of state? We are in georgia, trying to adopt in Texas.

[tctahoe]

we are in TX. That is strange that they would allow you to be in the final stages on 3 separate groups. It's great for you as it increases your chances, but I know when we were selected for our group that we were in the final stages of another group too. I actually called the kids caseworker and told her because we really wanted the group that we have and she told us that when we had been chosen to go to the staffing that we should have been taken out of the system. She actually was pretty mad and I could hear her typing quite a few people. I just didn't want to be selected for one group before having a chance at our group. It was just by chance that we found out too, because our cw usually told us nothing!

But no we are in TX, but I do know that there are quite a few of out of staters here on the board that have been selected or are in the process of adopting from TX. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you! Good Luck!

[frontporch]

I'm in state but out of region. (Due to what might appear to others as conflicts of interests, we've had to use an outside agency and cannot consider children within our local region.)

It has been a long wait. We started this process 3 years ago. We've had some problems with our agency and had felt like that may be a part of the delay- along with the fact we can only seek outside our region. But, we were discussing it yesterday- how can we second guess God's timing? Right? I truly believe these two kids that we first saw on TARE over two years ago, we meant to be ours and that God had a purpose for making us/them wait.

[naca]

Hey guys! Just thought I'd jump in here since everyone seems to be matching w/ Texas kids We are "matched" with our adopted daughter's sibling who is in Texas! The ICPC is getting filed next week (AW is just waiting on one more medical form).. One thing that irritates me is that some of you (theruhls) have said you got the information on the children prior to ICPC starting.. We've been allowed no contact at all and were told we'd get the file AFTER ICPC is approved What gives?!