[sdrew]

I am seriously considering the foster to adopt program but am afraid of getting attached to a child only to have the child go back to its bio family.

how likely is it that i will be able to keep the child placed with me? do most placements end up in adoption? can anyone tell me the odds?

is there any agency that i should go with as opposed to the others? my question is that which agency can help me best achieve my goals?

[rmyoung]

every case is different so no odds but reunification is always tried first and does not always work.Once certified you can be very picky if you want when it comes to children.We have been called on average 3 -4 times a week and have only taken one child.

[crikkit]

There are lots of kids in Texas who are currently in foster care and whose parents' rights have already been terminated. If you're willing to accept older kids that might be a good option for you.

I'm in Houston also. I've taken my PRIDE classes and finished my homestudy, and hopefully will be licensed in the next couple of weeks. I'll send you a private message to let you know what agency I'm working with.

[TexasJingles]

Welcome sdrew! I'm in Houston too. We just did the foster-to-adopt (finalized mid nov. 2005). We were placed with a sib set of 3, ages then 7, 8, and 10. The lucky thing for us was the TPR had already gone through for them, but their cases were under appeal. Sure, the next court might have found a problem in the state's case, and it could have been over-turned, doesn't happen very often though, and we went with the odds. About as low risk as you can get, without being straight adopt. This process took just over a year.

We did have our homestudy out for a number of sib sets that were straight adoption. They take time too. One set, that we had put in for about 3 weeks before getting the call on our 3, was finalized 2 months AFTER ours! And they already had all appeals run out! So, you just never know how long the actual adopt process will take.

Some key factors are, what age, race, how many, and what "problems" are you willing to take. I don't care what the age...they all have some kind of problem. Even bio kids can have problems.

Looking back, I don't know if we would have straight adopted this group. They took a while to warm up (been with us 18 months now), and we still have tantrums (although MUCH better than before). I'm sooooo glad that we had agency support and cwr support while we were fostering and just learning the ropes when it comes to working and loving kids with the emotional baggage that they come with. We found out how hard it can be in the "adoption placement paperwork signed, but not finalized yet" zone (one of them threw a tantrum in public and we had to call 911 for help, ER visit, talk of psych hospital, and more). But, no one knew what to do, or even who to send us to for help! We couldn't call the agency's afterhour foster careline (we weren't their foster parents anymore), and there isn't an adoption afterhour careline!. Hmmm, there needs to be!

I think one comment I made to a friend might help (either way). When she asked how I could risk loving a child and then have to lose them (for whatever reason), I replied that I do it every year. I'm a teacher. I give my all to them. I love on them, discipline them, council them, pull my hair out over them at times too! And at the end of the year...I send them on. With some, it hurts more than with others. It helps when I get to see them from time to time (or at least hear about them). I worry so much for some of them (home lives). All I can do, is show them that someone does care, that they are worthwhile, and hope that someday, when they really need it, they can pull out the memories they made in my class to comfort them, support them, or get aggitated at because I pushed them to be better.

And, sometimes they come back, years later, and say "thank you for making a difference".

----- aw, perhaps it's just me -----

CRIKKIT!! Long time no see! Glad to see things are still working their way through! You'll make it! Got your placement worker yet?

[waterfall1]

Where do you go to take the PRIDE classes to be certified as a foster parent and does it cost anything? We are already approved for an adoption of a newborn, but we are thinking of getting an older child too. They are in the process of terminating parental rights of the foster child we want.