[tddjc]

Hi, I have been reading for a while but have not posted before ( I have computer issues(user error)) We have been waiting since January. I have put in for several children from TARE and am seeing no progress towards a placement. They are all still up for adoption and I am going crazy with self doubt on whether it is just the process that is lengthy or that we look totally undesirable on paper. I don't expect anyone to be able to say anything to fix this, I just needed to vent to someone that is in a similar situation and can relate. My friends are supportive but can't understand fully.


(I don't remember how you guys listed your stats, but have 3 kids already 10, 8,4, never fostered or adopted , currently ready to foster to adopt)

[TexasJingles]

tddjc -- Welcome! I hope you find this board as helpful and supportive as I have. I wish I had found it before our foster-to-adopt placement. Perhaps it wouldn't have been soooo.... stressful.

First thing is about the TARE kids. What we went through on that is ... it may take a while. They have to wait until they have a certain number of homestudies before they will pull the picture. Some kids (usually the newer ones -- 1st page or 2 of whatever you've done a search for), will come and go very quickly. However, that's not the end.

I know of one sibling group that we were looking at, had submitted for, heard more of their story, still wanted them, and were told it would be at LEAST 2 months before the team had narrowed down the homestudies to the final 4. Then it would be a bit longer to be notified if we were the top family, and on and on.

We took placement of our 3, which I said was foster-to-adopt (about the lowest risk possible since all 3 had TPR's already and we were just waiting for the appeals to be processed), about a month into the wait for this other group of 2. I just found out that they were adopted just a couple of months ago (about a year later). So, it can take a while, even for the kids that already are legally free for adoption (think, visits, getting to know each other, the final move in, wait the 6 months required before finalizing, etc).

So, if you've submitted your homestudy for the TARE kids, and their picture is still up, it means they are more than likely still waiting for more homestudies.

I remember the wait. It's tough. But it's well worth the wait!

Which part of the state are you in?

Hang in there!

[tddjc]

TexasJingle,

we are in the Austin area. The 1st we submitted for was a sibling group of 2 in Jan. We never heard a peep about that. It is amazing that they aren't looking at families for them yet. They have not contacted our cw at all. Or are they just not interested. A part of me wonders if it matters that we are not african american (as the children are) . If it does just take several months it will be interesting to see which if any of the workers gets back with us since the kids we turned in our homestudy for are all very different (ethnicity and ages). I think I'm going to get an ulcer over the whole deal. It's hard to have absolutely no control over the situation!!! My husband, kids and I are so anxious to see what will come of this.
thanks for the help!

[dantheman2]

My husband and I were approved to adopt or foster in January as well. We have submitted homestudies and requested information about several kids from TARE and still no word from anyone. I know of several families who are in exactly the same position as we are. I completely understand. However, I don't know of a thing to do about it except to keep in contact with my caseworker at my agency.

[LadyBugz]

I've heard that it is not uncommon for people to hear that they've been selected for the children on TARE 5 or 6 months after putting in interest. And that all the others who put in homestudies just never hear anything. And that some workers will keep the profile up until the entire matching process is complete, meaning they aren't taking new homestudies and already have the staffings underway, but just don't remove it until they are doing visits.

Don't take it personally. Your situation is the norm.

[tddjc]

Ok, this is so frustrating and upsetting. Last week what seemed like the perfect match popped up on TARE and I put in my paperwork immediately for this child. Today I find out this child was probably placed in an adoptive home last weekend in another state FAR away. So why did the child come up new on tare last week. And it says that the child needs to be able to visit with siblings that live in THIS state. Why wouldn't they look at local families first! Especially because of visits and it mentioned the possibility of placing with a sibling which we said we would be happy to do. And of course the child is still up on tare. We are still waiting to hear for sure but I just feel like there are no rules sometimes.

[MollyMo]

We are waiting to meet our new kiddo (next weekend) and we put in for the child in September, but did now find out till February - IT TAKES A LOOOOONNNGGG TIME!!! I know it is frustrating, but don't give up, it will happen.

We used TARE and my case worker (with a non-profit private agency) forwards emailed children to me that she gets daily from all of her contacts throughout the state in CPS. She also advised us that the state is planning on placing more children as "legal risk" soon after being removed from birth parents (they will be temporarily placed in a foster home while their info is emailed out) then they place them with a prospective family certified as foster-adopt, then while they are getting TPR, the children will be in a proposed eventual permanent home. She said that state wants to do this so the kiddos won't be bounced around so much and if TPR is completed, then adoption proceeding can commence. She also told me that this is the new plan the state is implementing on any child that they feel will more than likely end up with TPR. We were not told this till December and saw several emails, but we picked our kiddo from TARE.

Sorry this is long, just wanted to explain.

Molly

[Roon63]

hey neighbors! I am eastof you in New Mexico...but saw ya'lls post (see I even have a bit of a Texas twang ) Wanted to pop in, I think sometimes those pictures listed are to draw folks in, to the foster/adopt program. Waiting is hard, but oh so worth it!

[tddjc]

Mollymo, I am sooooo happy for you! I can't wait to hear how the visit goes. I hope you will post about it. Of course now I thinking which kids have left tare since then. I check often and am always happy to see that some of the kids have been removed from the site, knowing they have found a home!

[rmyoung]

I think Mollynmo is right except many times if the child
goes to a foster/adopt home right from parents
they will never leave.Cps told me this yesterday
on a call we got for a child.Let me clearify if they dont go back to there parents.I think you have a better shot at kids if your willing to do emergency placement.We have gotten a call almost everyday for a placement but turned all but 1 down.In every case they said if these kids become availble for adoption you will be the first and only option if you want to adopt.