[DJMDD]

I cannot give too many details, but I was wondering if anyone has gone through this.

I know a child (7 months old) who has been taken from the bio mom. There is no bio dad - well, she won't tell - probably doesn't know. Her hearing is coming up and she will more than likely lose custody. Foster parents are not wanting to adopt. We do. We have called the case worker and told of our involvement. She really doesn't know what to tell me to do at this point since we live out of city and county (very far out of) from where the child and bio mom is.

Caseworker stated the need to talk to DA. I read something about staffing meetings they have - is this what the caseworker is talking about? Right now, noone else is offering adoption or long term foster. She sounded positive about us, though we have not been to any classes or filled out any paperwork. Do I wait for her? How often should I check in? Is once a week too much? Because to be honest - I want to call daily.

Does anyone have experience in a situation like this? The bio mom does not know us and cannot. She has extremely questionable motives and very unstable. We feel she would try to harm us or the child if she knew where we were - she has tried it before (sorry I cannot give more details).

Anyway, thanks for reading. Just out of curiosity - what happens at home inspection? Do they talk with your bio kids in private?

DJMDD

[Desiree'sdad]

I have seen similar cases to the one describe. It would help if you were related to the child as relatives get first chance. But you still have a chance , if I were you I would immedaitely register for the next Pride class, after being approved you would then be eligible to foster and then adopt the child. You have to have a pretty clean record--no felony convictions etc... it would be a difficult process to complete but if you are really interested in the child it would be worth it. Yes the social worker would defintely interview your biological individually and you have to know if you have ever abused your biological children you probably wouldn't be considered for foster care or adoption. Hope this helps.

[DJMDD]

Thanks - I have never had a felony - I mean I only had one ticket for speeding in my entire life. I also don't abuse my kids, but one of my children is very shy and typically does not open up to strangers. I am more worried about that aspect for him. My other would tell them what we had for breakfast on July 12th of last year!! LOL

I would love to take the PRIDE classes, but the social workers tell me I cannot until I fill out the paperwork , but I cannot do that until after the hearing in September.

It is a waiting game isn't it?

[Desiree'sdad]

DJ: Don't give up!!! Some friends of mine were fostering 2 special needs children who were adopted to a family from Minnesota. If you really want this child you will have to be relentless. It will take a lot of time. One thing in your favor is the foster family doesn't want to adopt. I will tell you that even after a child is removed from a parent the court will the mother a plan to follow. Typically the parent has a year to show that he or she is progressing, if the parent fails to follow through with the plan CPS will then petition the court to terminate rights of parent. So you can see this will not happen over night. If the mother refuses to voluntarily sign away her rights(sometimes they do--ours did) then the process will ususally take close to two years to complete.
Then there is the matter of the father --it is important to find the father---once found, they often voluntarilly sign away their rights--if they don't the state will ask for child support--they often change their mind then---if they don't then he will be allowed the same process as the mother to prove ability to parent the child. If he can't be found his rights will be eventually terminated by the judge.
Again, as soon as possible enroll in Pride---if possible get close to a social worker--they are a very important asset to have in your corner when decisions are made concerning the child. During the pride training you will meet people who can answer questions that may arise. After completion of pride you will start receiving invitations to foster parent gatherings--at these you will obtain a wealth of info as well as support from experienced foster parents about your situation. Be patient and remember you are dealing with a state bureacracy--it will take time but if you end up with this child it will be well worth it. If you have any other questions you may e-mail me @ tomchief@earthlink.net I would gladly respond.