[Matthew'sMom]

I don't know if this is where to post this, how do you go about finding information or feelings of siblings that were separated from each other by foster care, whether they ever lived together or were born a few year's later and not placed together in the same foster/adoptive home? It seems to be the opinion that if you haven't lived together as siblings, there isn't a big deal to be made out of it as you do not have a relationship, and if you find each other as adults you'll be fine. It seems the definition of "best interest" for child is a very loose statement and can be interpreted however anyone chooses. I am an adoptive parent and also a spouse to someone who was separated from a sibling when he was 1-1/2. People say it's no big deal to be separated from a bio sibling, I strongly disagree. How can this be taken more seriously?

[lisakh]

I was told that you are entitled to know info about your adopted child's family. My DS was seperated from his bio brother when bio family decided they would keep younger brother and not him. Other bio brother was born after he was removed from bio mom. The other day we even received from his case worker the latest file on his youngest bio sib. She said, "since you are entitled to know about changes with D's siblings..." and attached copy of the latest report.

Have you asked them about whether you are entitled to such info? I was told you are.

Lisa
Mom2Five

[Matthew'sMom]

Sibling born to bio mom 2 months after our adoption on 2-1/2 year old sibling finalized. Born in different county, same state, our info was on system, caseworker in different county placed sibling in different home. We received a phone call 6 weeks ago informing us of sibling born 14 months ago. In care for 14 months, not adopted yet, ad litem not allowing visits. I see how people search for siblings and realize the impact even if they didn't grow up together. I wondered if they had wished people had fought for their bio siblings.

[lisakh]

I know, it's not right. We actually didn't find out about the youngest sibling until we'd had DS four months. But his sibling was a year old before he was removed from his bio-mom. It would still have been nice to know when our son was placed with us that he had an infant bio-brother. They said they didn't know the bio-mom had had another baby until there was allegations of neglect made and an investigation. Once the child was removed for neglect he was placed with relatives. TPR hasn't taken place but I really feel that the relatives that have him now will end up being the ones allowed to adopt him. Even though we have his sibling. I'm also afraid they won't let us have any further info once he's adopted. I think we just got info because he hasn't been adopted yet and has an open case.

So, yes I can see how siblings can easily get "lost" to each other.

Lisa
Mom2Five