[rbjay]

I am a birthmom counting down the days till I can finally see (hopefully) our beautiful girl. I was in the Smithlawn Maternity Home in Lubbock, Texas, recentlly I found out about the registry. Only, through Smithlawn they want alot of money to sign up for this. I will pay anything to see her but they also have alot of stipulations on the reunion. They want me to go through their psychiatrist and have a session with him before we meet. Is this all neccessary? I still have a few years till I can see her (she was born in 1989)I am just frustrated. Could anyone help me understand all of this? Do I have to go through them? I did not leave the maternity home with good feelings. I was not informed on the registry and I still had alot of questions. I was very young then and maybe I did not get all the info I needed. Thank you for any help I can get.

Thank ya'll very much!

[skinnylou]

Hi there,

I am a reunited TX bmom. My bson searched so there was no cost to me. It cost him 60.00 because I had kept my info up to date.

I too was required to undergo a predisclosure session and I believe most will require a session.

Now after being in reunion I could probably use some more time on the couch.(so to speak)

Good Luck!

[rbjay]

Thank you for your help. I was wondering, when you say your info, is that the registry? Did you have to pay to be on the registry? How did you get your information out? Sorry to ask so many questions, I am just really anxious to be ready for if she wants to find me. I am so glad you found your bson. Was it hard? I am really scared that she will hate me and never wants to see me again. But, I really appreciate your help and I am also a good listener.

Thank you, again!

[txchic334]

Hi,

My sugestion is to post your info here. She will find this forum if she is looking. Posting her birthdate is one of the best ways because it will show up when someone is doing a search. ie: Google. There are other sites as well and you can see if she is already looking by running searches for her birthdate.

Good Luck!

[skinnylou]

No there was no cost I would call verify my address ect. I offered info regarding siblings, life acheivements, i had no medical issues so i offered that as well. I did this for 24 years.

In Texas you should register with txcare.com and the state registery as well. Your child however will be directed at some time to the agency. Most agencies keep post adoption services. so to search, yes, there would be a cost for sure but to update your info should not or at least be minimal.

My son searched for me and he went to the agency first.

I cannot offer you any sage advice. Just be really ready emotionally. Even though we wait their life time for this "ready" is undefined.

Hope this helps. Also there is the free irrs "i think" ask some one here they can clarify.

[rbjay]

Thank you all for your help and words of encouragement. I am really nervous that she would not want to find me. I will sign up on all of the adoption sites that I need to. Because this was a closed adoption does it matter if I post now? Since she is only 15 will there be problems? I don't want to cause any problems but, this has been agony. I am really happy to have found this site and all of you kind people. Thank you for all of your help!

You-all give me hope that there is still kind people in this world.

Thank-you!!!!!!

[skinnylou]

In the state of TX she will have to be 18 to obtain info. You can post anything you wish, just remember what you were like at 15.

She might search but contact would be tricky.

You can post and start your search if you like but you need to obey the laws regarding age if you find her.

Hey but wouldn't it be great to have that info in your hand on her 18th? You could go to her graduation and just be one of the crowd. But honor her. She may or may not be ready just because you are.

Good Luck!

[jcyrus]

Don't ever give up! One day she will find you. I waited until I was in my mid-forties to look for my mother. I always wanted to know her, but I just couldn't bring myself to search. It's the fear of the unknown! Fear of not meeting her expectations, fear of rejection, fear of hurting my mother & daddy's feelings, then fear of being disrespectful to their memory after they passed on.

Well, after a neighborhood friend died of cancer in her mid 40's, I felt like I needed to take a leap of faith and go for it. It is truly amazing what you can find out on the internet. Unfortunately, nobody was looking for me. Get your information out there!! If she starts looking, she will find it.

Long story short, I did find my mother about 2 1/2 years ago, one of the best days of my life. She definitely wanted me to contact her but would not have interferred with my life.

Best of luck to you and God Bless!!!

Jean

[cyndimcc]

i too gave up a son from smithlawn maternity home but it was in 1982 they told me i had to come up with 10,000 dollars if i wanted to keep him being a single parent with no job at the time i had no way of keeping him i regret it too this day and i too feel he will not want to know me either i had three more children all girls they want to see there brother very badly i knedw nothing about there registry but i feel they are wrong for trying to charge you for it its seems they are out for as much money as they can get i know the wait seems endless but before you know it she will be 18 and hopefully she will want to find u as much as u want to find her i wish my son would find me

[motherlost]

I was at Smithlawn in 85, and i feel the same way that you do about there registry. I also feel like i did not get all the information that i need to help me in making my decision to give up my child. I regret the day that i made that decision!!! I have been trying to get information from Smithlawn for the last couple of years now and have gotten nothing that could help me in my search for my daughter.
I'm so glad i am not the only one that feels this way about Smithlawn. I wish you all the luck in finding your child.

[rbjay]

[font=Comic Sans MS]My computer was terminal and recentlly I am back. Everyone that has answered and helped while my computer was down, Thank you and I am sorry for not getting back sooner. You all have just made my day today. Once again it is getting close to her birthday and the anticipation is growing. This year she is 16. Two more years to go! Smithlawn has not been helpful at all. They sent me Registry information and more costs to go through. I am just going crazy trying to figure out what all I am supposed to do and on top of this I am going to start the adoption process of my husband to adopt my son. Step parent adoption of step child is a whole other world! Please let me know how all of you are doing now and THANKYOU once again for all of you!

[jgl]

I am looking for my birth mom. I was a male born 8-21-1977 at Smithlawn in Lubbock. I once was told her name was Catheryn Johnson, but am not sure.

What is the registrey you are all talking about? Would it cost me, the adoptee anything to be put on this?
thank you-- chris

[rbjay]

There is a registry where the birthmother leaves information on how to get in touch with her. I am not very good in finding out how to use this because I, too do not how to use this. I am a birthmother waiting to get to meet a lovely little girl. I have a couple more years to wait. I do not know how helpful Smithlawn will be in helping you. But, I wish you the best of luck and my prayers.

Rbjay

[margaretm]

I too was at Smithlawn in 1986 and I too was treated the same way about my daughter.I never knew that my parents paid all my medical bills. I was told the same about having to pay a lot of money.I would never suggest anyone ever going there. They really belittle you and as a teen and scared make you feel like your are trash for being there. I am now 37 yrs. and just now I am able to talk about all the terrible feelings I had about that place.I always thought it was guilt that made me feel unworthy of my child but I really beleive they took her from me.I can not beleive they can still after all these years get away with the way they treat b-moms.They are all about money and I feel this is not the way God would want them to treat anyone or want a church to support this kind of treatment.

[ADOPTIVEMOMM]

Smithlawn is old fashioned minded and prefers to keep everything secret. I think that's why they charge so much to reunite the birthmother and child.

It's easier to post your information on all the adoption websites and hope for a reply.