[RIMomma]

Hello I've been away for awhile but at least I know where to go for support.

Here it is almost a month away and I'm already starting the emotional roller coaster. I was on my way to family counseling last night with the kids and I will remember you by Sara McLaughlin came on I never related this song with adoption but immediatly I went to thoughts of her when I heard this line:

I'm so tired but I can't sleep
Standin' on the edge of something much too deep
It's funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word
We are screaming inside, but we can't be heard

I started tearing up but swallowed the lump in my throat and went on about my night. I'm still wondering to this day why I just can't express myself to my other 3 kids and let them know how I feel at 16 and 13 they are old enough. But here I am again feeling like I'm hiding it because it might show weakness and it's tearing me up on the inside.

[sstuart]

The daughter I placed turns 21 in 2 weeks and not a day goes by that I do not think about it. Songs will come on the radio and make a lump in my throat as well, like you I always swallow it and go on. Isn't that what we were told to do. Just go on and forget, but we never will. I hope to someday have a reunion and maybe the hurt will begin to heal. Hope you have a good day and you are not alone.

[keds]

my heart goes out to you. mixed feelings here, I am blessed in that after 26 years my bson has contacted me, the downside, it has made me realize how much I lost in choosing my life over his. I was convinced at the time I was doing the best for him but I don't feel that way now. I wish you both peace and love but it never gets easier.

[Imlookinforamiracle]

Originally Posted by RIMomma

Hello I've been away for awhile but at least I know where to go for support.

Here it is almost a month away and I'm already starting the emotional roller coaster. I was on my way to family counseling last night with the kids and I will remember you by Sara McLaughlin came on I never related this song with adoption but immediatly I went to thoughts of her when I heard this line:

I'm so tired but I can't sleep
Standin' on the edge of something much too deep
It's funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word
We are screaming inside, but we can't be heard

I started tearing up but swallowed the lump in my throat and went on about my night. I'm still wondering to this day why I just can't express myself to my other 3 kids and let them know how I feel at 16 and 13 they are old enough. But here I am again feeling like I'm hiding it because it might show weakness and it's tearing me up on the inside.

Hi,
I am a birthmom and I am looking for some friends, would you like to be my friend?

[13_lost_13]

i so understand where you are comming from. my daughter will turn 11 in october and once october starts so do the sad days. i also have 3 other children and they understand how hard it is for me. but i try very hard not to let them see me be so weak when this time comes around. i sometimes feel like nobody understands. i am so glad i found this website because maybe finally, someone will get where im coming from on this subject.

[josh1788smom]

It's so true. I have an event I need to work on this year that will be held on my bson's birthday. When someone proposed that date for the event, I was first thinking - we can't that's Josh's birthday. But then I remember that it doesn't matter what I do on his birthday, and it is probably better to be occupied because I got the one shot at being with him on that day, and my parents took it away.

Keep coming back - we've always got support and hugs to give out here.

Best wishes to you!

[Larrisa07]

I know its hard. I've been seperated from my real mother for about 10 years. i miss her more then ever and ive been looking for her. its tough to get through something like placing a child. but no matter what there always family and there always with you.
Stay strong, things will work out for the best.
everything happens for a reason.