[Tigger27]

I thought I'd start this thread with the thought in mind for everyone to check in here.

I'd like everyone to feel free to check in here and tell us how you're feeling and how you're doing with the Christmas and Holiday season upon us now.

Let us know if you're doing alright or if you need us to help out on bad days through this Holiday season. I hope you all feel free to share how things are going and how you're feeling on your ups and downs through this Holiday season and well all the time.

Feel free to share here or send a PM to me or a friend if you need to talk and are having a hard time with this Holiday season. We're all here to help and support each other through the good, the bad and everything.

Also, if anyone has ideas or things they do to help them through the bad times that they'd like to share then please feel free to do so.

Hugs to everyone .

Anne

[lahdh4]

My bad day/days will be tomorrow night and then next weekend. Tomorrow night because the visit will be over and I won't see her again until next year and then when I go up to Vt. for the weekend and after my cousin goes to sleep my thoughts will just go.

[SchmennaLeigh]

Gah! I gotta get past the birthday first!

However, I learned last year that Christmas morning is hard without her. Previously, it had been hard but... not as hard as when I have a Nicholas sitting on my lap... but no Munchkin. It was so weird last year.

This year will be busy... but I'll have a two hour drive, one way and back again (so, four hours) with just me and the Kiddo. I'll have some time to think.

[browneyes0707]

Usually, my hardest time is the month of her birthday. But I started dating her b-dad around Christmas, and every year for a long time I found myself thinking of those memories. For years I poured the unresolved feelings I had for my DD into that unhealthy relationship, so every christmas song or TV special often reminds me of him. It doesn't help that it is not unusual to hear from him this time of year either. Although we have cut off contact with eachother, I kind of expect that this year may be a bit tough, despite the fact that I have romantically moved on and am happy in my relationship, and do not wish to hear from him. But sometimes, it's like after all these years no matter how I try, I can't get away from it!!!!

Does that make sense?

But seeing that this is also the first year I will have had contact with DD's family since her first Christmas (which did not hit me at all, for some reason) and I do plan on touching base with them ,I'm honestly not sure how I'll feel after that.

[lahdh4]

Browneyes, makes perfect sense to me. Have that same thing with my ex, J'd bdad.

[kakuehl]

This should be a very interesting Christmas... last year was our first in reunion and they (D and family)came here on Christmas Eve. (It was SO hard to tear myself away to go to church but they had to leave to go home anyway...) This year D and wife have invited EVERYBODY to their home Christmas day. D's whole family, (aparents & 2 sisters with significant others), my family - DH, son & daughter, fiance, grandkids, and my Dad who will be seeing D for the first time since he was two days old (His comment then: "He's jaundiced.")

I have found that holding D's newborn son brings mixed emotions (my daughter says I'm getting my baby fix.). I love to hold him and yet I feel an overwhelming sorrow at having never held my son that way.

[opalwench]

First visits = Christmas/2 days after Christmas.

Nerves... I'm a whole big knot of nerves. Adding that this is my first Christmas celebration with Jeff's dads family (I had strep on Christmas Day last year and couldn't go.)

I'm on the upswing of everything right now though (possibly holiday adrenaline).

[Tigger27]

I'm doing alright for the most part so far with Christmas coming up. It helps to be busy with school and finals right now and such.

I'm sure I'll most likely have some down days or something while I stress on trying to find the right Christmas presents for my girls and their families too. It should be a good Christmas for the most part with going to Cali to visit my sister and all so we'll see how it goes, but for now I'm doing pretty good.

[Tigger27]

Good luck with your visit this weekend, Leigh. I hope it all goes well. Sending you lots of .

Jenna, I hope things go great for you with the birthday party and everything and that things get better for you too. You'll do fine, I'm sure .

Browneyes, I hope things go well for you with having contact with your daughter's family this Christmas .

Kathy, I hope things go well and hugs to you .

Opal, I hope all goes well with your first visits and that you have a good time.

Hope everyone does okay. Hugs to everyone.

Anne

[opalwench]

I was hitting a low spot today, mostly because work is crazy right now what with residents having finals and all (which reminds me, Good Luck/Belated Good Luck with your finals, Anne!) Stress always seems to bring out the pain more than anything. There was also a lovely moment where my vacation was all screwed up and they were possibly not going to approve me to be gone on one of the days that we planned to be visiting the a-family.

I'm basically just literally "working for the weekend." My best friend is hosting a Christmas party on Friday, which I'm looking forward to. Then after that I switch onto day shift for 2 weeks, so maybe I'll feel more like a human than a zombie. (Night shift has been taking a nasty toll since I came back off of my leave.)

My upper for the day? My aunt and uncle finally got their travel/court date from the Ukraine! They've been in the process of adopting a 10-year old boy for over a year now, and they've had prospective dates fall through several times now. But they're heading out in Mid-January for sure now. I'm so very excited for them, it's pulled me out of the funk I was starting to feel.

[kakuehl]

Opal, It's always good to find the ups that balance the downs. (I'm really trying to do that right now...) I hope your Christmas visit works out for you. I'm sure it will be bittersweet.