[Tigger27]

With Thanksgiving this week and Christmas approaching in a little over a month, I was wondering how many of us get Holiday Blues with regards to our children we've placed for adoption.

So, do you get Holiday Blues about your child/children you placed at this time of year?

And if you do, how do you handle dealing with your Holiday Blues?

I myself do get the Holiday Blues to an extent, but I think for me Thanksgiving is worse than Christmas because I feel like I get a double whammy with Thanksgiving and one of my girls birthdays at that same general time.

So, I do the birthday rituals as well as Holiday things to try to deal with my Holiday Blues. I have more things/specifics as to what I do, but I want to let others share before I share some more.

What about everyone else?

[lahdh4]

I will have to come to you about this one. My Holiday Blues are during Christmas.

[Mommy24]

Yes I get Holiday blues, they start on his Bday in October and they last through the new year. This year has been harder for me than any other thus far, I am completely dreading the rest of the year However I do have 4 other children who needed Mommy to put on her happy face and enjoy them, I try really hard, I dont want to spoil anything for them or miss anything with them. I journal,(as best I can) of course I shop because its Christmas and I can and for me its therapy..LOL
I also find that a good cry does me wonders, have been doin alot of that lately

[Tigger27]

I so totally relate to doing a lot of crying lately. I've been feeling like a leaky sieve (sp?) or something the past couple weeks myself .

(((Hugs)))

I'm bummed even more now too cause I don't think I'll be seeing my boyfriend at all tomorrow and I won't see my family or be home until tomorrow night sometime so tomorrow being her birthday and me by myself pretty much all day tomorrow is going to suck!

[freesia]

I have been extremely down it starts at the beginning of Nov. til about the 3rd week of Jan. i have been trying to come up with ways to perk myself up a bit..but it is very difficult.......

[bebe03]

well, this is my first time using this site. so i dont know how to begin. i had a baby girl over 3 years ago and i thought the holidays and stuff wouldnt be as hard being that its been so long but its totally the opposite.i get so depressed and sad and start thinking about what my daughter does and if she is happy.i can never enjoy the holidays and i dont know how to deal.ive tried to journal but feel like i dont get anywhere.any advice??

[thanksgivingmom]

This is my first Christmas post-placement and I've tried to anticipate a lot of things, but there are still so many things that catch me off gaurd.

I was decorating the Christmas tree with my mom and she brought out all these picture ornaments. In each ornament she had put a picture of each of her grandchildren. I hid my pregnancy from her, and so was the only one to know that there was an ornament missing for my little one.

For me, its been the little things that hit me the hardest, because there is no way I could have prepared for them.

[kakuehl]

In my case, I would have to say that it did get better over time. The birthday was always the worst for me since we share the day. Unfortunately, it took more than 3 weeks... or three years.

Thanksgivingmom and Bebe03, I think that this is a good place to come for support, because you will find others who have experienced similar situations. (Anne aka Tigger already knows that!!)

My solution has always been to pour myself into what ever I'm supposed to be doing. If I concentrate on others, I spend less time dwelling on my own depression.

Thanksgivingmom, do you have a picture of your baby? If so, I would recommend that you get an ornament made. (If you ever decide to share with your family, you'll have it to add to your mom's tree. If not, you'll have it for yourself.)

[thanksgivingmom]

Originally Posted by kakuehl

Thanksgivingmom and Bebe03, I think that this is a good place to come for support, because you will find others who have experienced similar situations. (Anne aka Tigger already knows that!!)

Thanksgivingmom, do you have a picture of your baby? If so, I would recommend that you get an ornament made. (If you ever decide to share with your family, you'll have it to add to your mom's tree. If not, you'll have it for yourself.)

I have really been amazed by the support I found here. I didnt even know websites like this existed until after I had the baby. I was just searching the web and found this, how grateful am I!?!

I only have a polaroid we took at the hospital for right now, but hopefully I will be hearing from the amom soon about meeting and will get more pictures soon! I hope, I hope, I hope!! I think it is an excellent idea to have an ornament of her for myself. Thanks!

[lahdh4]

They have kicked in big time. It doesn't help that I am sick and would LOVE to stay in bed under the covers but that isn't an option.

[Tigger27]

Oh, Leigh...I'm sorry that you're having the blues now.

Sending you lots of warm, fuzzy hugs .

[kharma1130]

I've been a complete emotional wreck since Thanksgiving. And I've been in reunion for 2 years. I dont get it. I guess my 16-year-old self is still grieving. Will it ever end?

[browneyes0707]

So it's Christmas Eve, and I hope you all have a Merry Christmas, and are doing OK.

I've been a bit out of sorts, it's been kind of creeping up on me all week. I wonder if DD thinks of me, and whether she wonders where I am. I wonder if her family thinks of me too. I wish I could buy them all gifts and show them how much they mean to me.

I read on here all the wonderful thoughts from a-moms, the scrapbooks and the photos and all, and it really makes me regret being out of touch for so long. I hate the fact that I could have had all that, that I missed my opportunity to see my little girl grow up, and be a part of her life. I wish I had known years ago how a-moms felt about the women who bore their children, because even though I always knew my DD's a-mom was fond of me, I thought maybe it was better to let them be, to live their lives without me in the picture. It never crossed my mind that I was talking away the opportunity for them to know me too.

Now I'm a secret to my DD, someone who knows about her from a far. I am so grateful for everything that her a-mom has shared with me so far, it is more than I could have hoped for. And I know that it takes time to rebuild trust and love in a friendship, and I am more than willing to do whatever it takes to do that, even when I get impatient when a-mom doesn't follow through as quickly as I'd like. But in the back of my head, I know that it didn't have to be this way. It's so scary to know that my DD doesn't know I've asked for her because she may reject the idea of knowing me. I hate the way things are, and I try not to beat myself up over it too often, for we can't go back, just forward. But sometimes it just gets to me.

So Merry Christmas to my DD, and her family, I wish I could say it directly to you, and maybe some day I'll be lucky enough to be able to!!!

And again, Merry Christmas to all of you. You all have helped so much

[kakuehl]

Browneyes, this is my 2nd Christmas in reunion after 32 years apart. Last year, my 2nd f2f with D was on Christmas Eve at my house. This year we're all to be at D's house on Christmas Day - tomorrow. Both a & b families.

There is indeed hope. It's hard not to want to push the reunion. D has said on more than one occasion that had we gotten in contact earlier he would have not been ready for a relationship. Waiting is hard, but then i have yet to find anything easy about adoption!
Have a blessed, hope-filled Christmas

[lweiner]

Yes I get the holiday blues, but it is different than yours. My blues come from waiting 1 year for my prayers to come true. The holidays make it even harder. I think about how I wish I could be sharing it with a child, and feel that my life has not really started yet. Especially since I have been waiting a year, it is the second christmas, it will be the second new years, the second mothers day, etc. Waiting, and waiting can be just as hard as your end. When I see families together, I just think about when is it gonna be my turn to celebrate with a child. This year so far has been the hardest. Some of my friends trying to keep my spirits up while I wait, got me baby holiday gifts helping me keep my hopes and prayers
going, and showing me that we are all in this together. At first I was depressed, then, It did cheer me up knowing that I have so many people praying for me that this dream of becoming a single parent comes true. Now that's what I call a wonderful gift. I just hope others going through what you are understand the other side of things as well. If it wasn't for wonderful giving people like you, none of us would have the wonderful memories or full lives of sharing with children. Remember, you gave the greatest gift, and sometimes when you give such a perfect thing, it hurts. But keep your spirits up. All of your feelings are truthful and if you did not have any of them then I would wonder. You will only be stronger for them. God Bless