[jkesmom2003]

Hello-

I need some input from birthmoms please - my city's adoptive parent's assoc is developing a birth mother's day event for this year, and we really want it to be special and honoring to birth moms. I am looking for your input as to what you would think it should consist of.

I TRULY appreciate and look forward to your input!

God Bless!

j's amom

[faith2005]

I think that is really neat that your doing this to honor birthmothers.
I am a birthmother and you would think that I could tell you what would make it special to me but I dont know I would feel honored enough just to know my town was doing something like that for birthmothers.

[Montraviatommyg]

I'm not sure how I feel about birth mothers being honoured in this way. No doubt it is being done with the best of intentions but for me it would just bring back the pain and grief of not bringing up my son. We are in reunion now but it wont take away how I felt for 23 years. Sorry to be negative about this as I, and many other birth mothers, have been pressured over the years to have our children adopted so something like this makes feel like I'm having my nose rubbed in it that my son was adopted.

Hope you get more positive responses though.

Philippa

[stacyone]

j's amom, contact Brenda Romanchik -- I think her name on here is 'bromanchik'. I think that she is involved with a couple of things in her area and might be able to give you some idea of what they're doing!

Good luck!

[jkesmom2003]

Thanks for the comments ladies - Philippa, I appreciate your honesty and do regret you feel these ceremonies are snubs. I have read a lot of posts from bmoms who placed children many years ago who seem to feel the way you do. I hope the adoption community is doing better by women these days.

j's amom

[Montraviatommyg]

Originally Posted by jkesmom2003

Thanks for the comments ladies - Philippa, I appreciate your honesty and do regret you feel these ceremonies are snubs. I have read a lot of posts from bmoms who placed children many years ago who seem to feel the way you do. I hope the adoption community is doing better by women these days.

j's amom

j's amom

Despite how I feel hope all goes well .

Philippa

[Lexus]

I think the Birthmom's program you mentioned is a great idea. I wish there was one in my area. I'd be the first to sign up.
My first thought is that your "advertisements" specifically state that ALL birthmoms are invited--not just one's who have reconnected with their children. This would have been very important to me before I reconnected with my daughter after 25 years.
My second thought is that all attendees be comfortable in knowing that their anonymity will be respected and that they won't be forced to contribute to a discussion or give out information that they're not ready for.
My last thought is that attendees recognize this as a support to them. I felt that one thing that helped me during those 25 years was to physically do something to honor my daughter's birth. I chose to make a contribution to a Sunday school class (of the same aged children) each year on my daughter's birthday. On Mother's day, I couldn't bear to spend the day alone. I usually visited women in nursing homes that were alone on that day too. I'm guessing that these types of coping suggestions would be helpful to attendees.
Thanks for putting in the effort to support birthmom's. We are often a forgotten part of the family tree.