[leah hart]

Hello my name is leah and i am new to the forum here. i just wanted to share my story. this year my boys will be turning 6 and 4. What glorious ages. It has been so much harder dealing with there bithdays this year. i dont know if im the only person who feels like this. i wish i could be there to see them. i would give any thing to watch there faces as thay blow out the candles and make a birthday wish. i imagine the elation on there faces as they open there presents. running around the house in party hats and chasing other children. the laughter that fills the air when they dont place the pin on the donkey. there are so many things that i think about and i cry. i want to be there so badly. i want to be able to hug them and kiss them and tell them how much i love them . My children were only 2 and 5 months when they were taken . i will always be critical of myself . i only wish that things could of been different then. i often find myself playing the would of , should of, could of, game alot. i wish i could of done things better. so many negative things i could think about. then somthing hit me this year. despite all the bad things that have happend. i believ as a mother i did one of the best and hardest thing as mother could do. i guess you could say that my ultimate present to my children was to give them a life that i could not. so i say to my beautiful children happy birthday

[bmoms1994]

Leah, my daughter was taken when she was 20 days old. I think of the would of, could of, should ofs, a lot. I also miss her deeply every day. Birthdays and holidays are the worst. I can't erase your pain, but I hope it helps knowing that you are not alone and there are people that are going through what you are going through. HUGS.