[Titanya]

It is almost December and as of December 16th my son will be 20. I had hoped that he was interested in finding me as I am in finding him but you would think that 2 years I might have heard something. I'm starting to think he hates me.
This is a really bad time of year for me. I'm trying to get my life in some semblance of order but this time of year always opens that old wound that has never quite healed and probably never will.
I found out recently I have a disorder that seems to be genetic. I'd like to be able to let him know about this, know what sort of person he is, even just to know that he is ok.
It hurts. My daughters are supportive as they can be but no one but someone who has been through this knows what I feel.
It's a pain that rears its ugly head this time every year.

To Michael. I love you and every pore of my being wishes you a happy 20th birthday.

Love
your birth mother
Cathi
aka Titanya

[Blue eye mom]

Don't give up hope. I was were you are at many years ago. I'm 54 and my birthson just contacted me after 34 years. And that was just a couple of months ago. The only thing I had of my birthson for the 34 years was the letter from SRS stating that he was place with a good family and he was doing well. I also had the wrist band that the hospital puts on you. At every TV show where they did family reunions I would watch and cry saying some day that could be me. You are correct you will never forget them they are always in your heart. I never got to even see my birthson when he was born. And we all want it to happen now but some times the child needs the time to grow and realize that there is something missing in their lives. That is what my birhson realized. His adopted mom had the adoption papers for 10 years before my birthson decided that he want to make contact with me. SO HANG IN THERE IT WILL HAPPEN WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT FOR BOTH OF YOU.....