[stacyone]

You know, Jenna, as I was reading the beginning of this thread, I was thinking, "Okay, yeah, but what are you going to WEAR?" Ha ha... glad I'm not the only one!

I vote for the turtleneck & houndstooth skirt, with some fabulous kicky boots. Do you wear red? I say to heck with the conservative colors -- go for it, baby! How about a red turtleneck over some black pants? You're smart, beautiful, talented, kind, and you have NOTHING to hide!!!

Besides... we brunettes look smashing in red...

[SchmennaLeigh]

Mmm, red turtleneck sounds lovely. Maybe the red turtleneck UNDER the black blazer WITH the houndstooth skirt.

Is that TOO much? I mean, its sort of holiday festive (red, plus, our wedding, six days later, is red/Christmas theme) and so on. I do look nice in red, gives me a bit more color than my normally SUPER pale self.

Spaypets, I LOVE chadwicks. I didn't know that their petite pants were good so I will definitely order some soon. (Have you seen their coat selection this winter? TO DIE FOR!! Can we tell I like clothing.)

See, talking about all of this unimportant stuff makes me feel less freaked out!!

[michellemartin]

Yeah, I agree with the above poster, Jenna you're beautiful! I remember your pics from that other group and you are gorgeous! I used to always want to be short, now I want to be tall... I'm 5' 6" so I'm stuck in the middle...

For hair I'd opt for down but pulled back. Up might be a bit too much, but all down would get pulled by little hands.

[spaypets]

Jenna, I think the red turtleneck under the black blazer sounds fabulous.

I know you're worried about that people will look down on you because you're a birthmother. But, can I say, I think there will be people there who will look at your situation and think, as I do, "There but for the grace of G-d go I." In other words, I think you caught a bullet a lot of us dodged. I will never forget one awful spring break in Mexico (shortly after an unexpected um, "meeting" with an ex that I hadn't quite gotten out of my system) that I spent counting and recounting the calendar, praying that my math was wrong (it was).

I hope that's not offensive or tactless, I'm trying to be reassuring in saying that a lot of people can relate more than you think.

[aj2002]

You need a plan!

Yes, your darling baby will be turning 1, and yes you want to support her and be there and celebrate with her, but lets face it... as thrilling as the idea is, it kinda sucks too. As she's sitting there smearing cake all over everywhere, all those "year withouts" that you meantioned before just might sneak up on you. And just maybe, when everyone is commenting on how cute she is and a-mom is graciously smiling, inside you might be screaming SHE GETS THAT FROM ME!!! But of course you can't say that. Hopefully none of this will happen. Hopefully the day will go flawlessly. Hopefully...

But just incase, I would suggest an "imaginary friend" The party's at 1? You have a friend, aunt, cousin WHATEVER that you have to meet for a late lunch... today's the only day she could meet you. Discuss this "friend" with a-mom before so that she can back your story up with guests if need be. That way, if by 1:30 you are about ready to just hide in the bathroom and cry for the rest of the party, you have a excuse to leave. Go to the park, the mall, McDonalds, whatever you need to do for awhile. I personally have found that if I go off by myself for awhile and cry, or journal, or sing along with the radio at the top of my lungs, I can usually return to the party or whatever in a good mood and really CELEBRATE with everyone else.

Just an idea....


P.S.... I'm not trying to change the subject, clothes just really aren't my thing.... lol

[SchmennaLeigh]

Originally posted by aj2002
But just incase, I would suggest an "imaginary friend" The party's at 1? You have a friend, aunt, cousin WHATEVER that you have to meet for a late lunch... today's the only day she could meet you. Discuss this "friend" with a-mom before so that she can back your story up with guests if need be. That way, if by 1:30 you are about ready to just hide in the bathroom and cry for the rest of the party, you have a excuse to leave. Go to the park, the mall, McDonalds, whatever you need to do for awhile. I personally have found that if I go off by myself for awhile and cry, or journal, or sing along with the radio at the top of my lungs, I can usually return to the party or whatever in a good mood and really CELEBRATE with everyone else.

While this idea would work for some, it doesn't for me. I live seven and a half hours away. So, I just can't just leave and meet some friend that I don't know when I have to sleep at their house that night. Secondly, I couldn't just leave during the party to go home as the next day (Monday) D and Munchkin are coming back to Ohio with me so that D can help me with the last minute plans for my wedding on that coming Saturday. (She is one of my bridesmaids.) Plus, lying really isn't my bag, so meeting an imaginary friend really isn't something that I would do.

So, I just need to suck it up and deal with it and need to do so in a respectful, honest manner while still maintaing a positive demeanor at the party.

[SchmennaLeigh]

I spoke with D this week. I am still going to the party even though my emotional state as of late has been anything but cheery.

I said that I wanted to go, because I do. I don't want to miss an opportunity to be present for her "milestones" since I miss everything else. But, sigh, I don't know what to do with myself at this point.

I wish I could be invisible on that day.

[michellemartin]

Jenna, I'm glad you are still going. You will be fine. If not, she has a puter and we'll be here.

[spaypets]

You're still wearing that fab outfit we worked out aren't you? I don't want you to go all drab and gray because that's the way you're feeling.

I'm thinking about you and rooting for you...I think in the end you'll be so glad you went and you might even find yourself having fun. You really don't have a scarlet A on your chest, and I think once people start talking to you and find out what a cool job you have and that you're getting married really soon--they'll be interested in talking to you about you.

It occurs to me that an awful lot of people are feeling mighty badly. Do you think we all have SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder)? I mean in addition to the things that are making us sad, maybe we all need light boxes to get some UV rays in the gray November days.

[numbr1dbcksfan]

Yep totally, SAD. And in the other seasons does that also apply????

[SchmennaLeigh]

No SAD for me. I totally LOVE snow and winter is my favorite season. Hence the winter wedding.

[79nic]

Hey Jenna,

Just found this thread.

I was at M's birthday party this year. It was a bit different, cuz at the time I was in a good state of mind... not as sad as now.

But I will say that I think it's ok for you to disappear from the party for a while if you need to. Go use D's computer and come here, or whatever. It will probably be crazy enough with all the people that no one will even notice if you disappear for a little bit.

And yes, you ARE a knock out.

[numbr1dbcksfan]

And on that note--- your daughter looks JUST LIKE YOU! I was amazed...her skin is darker...but wow she has all of your features. She is beautiful, too!

[spaypets]

Jenna, tell us about your upcoming wedding. I'm dying to hear about the dress, the flowers, the food....

I always thought it would be cool (no pun intended) to have a winter wedding in an ivory velvet dress carrying red, red flowers. Of course that would have meant having a groom that a) liked the winter and b) would agree to a fancy wedding. I had neither. I'm lucky he agreed to a wedding at all! (he wanted to marry me, just not have a big party!).

[79nic]

Oooh, yes, wedding details!!!!