[azdaisy74]

I put my baby girl up for adoption 3 yrs ago. Her first birthday was Aug 2. Her adoptive parents send pics to me on her birthday every year and then again at Christmas. The Amom always waits a few weeks after her bday so she can get birthday pics back so she can send me some of those. I have learned to be patient and not to expect them exactly on her birthday. But it has been one month today and nothing. Last year Amom sent me an email to tell me she was late getting them out. This year nothing. It is driving me crazy but I dont want to upset them. I dont want to risk the chance that they will stop sending them all together. How long should I wait?? This is driving me crazy. Seeing those pics is what keeps me going. While I wait to get them I wonder how big has she gotten, how long is her hair, etc. Any advice would be great.

Gina

[numbr1dbcksfan]

Hi Gina! Im in AZ, too. I kind of have the same problem...but whenever I do say something they never get mad at me.

I usually am direct...

One time I wrote to say that I wasnt pressuring but I was driving myself nuts sitting by the mailbox...so could they let me know when they go out so I know not to be sitting and waiting for them...

Another time they had said they were being sent out..but I hadnt recieved them a couple weeks later, so I wrote to say Whoa...were these lost in the mail???

I think as long as you dont say...hey why havent you sent me my pictures yet? You probably dont have anything to worry about!!

Or you can always ask your agency to be the go between and ask them to send the pics!!!

Good Luck!

[DestinyUnknown]

Hi Gina,

I read your message that was posted and had to reply. I placed my son for adoption 3 years ago, January 13th. He turned 3 on January 11 and it is now January 26 and I have not received a letter or pictures. His parents are wonderful people and have never missed sending me pictures. I'm scared that they will stop completely. I have decided that I am going to write them a letter and explain how I feel and why it is so important for me to receive those letters and pictures. Without them, I feel empty and for the past coupole weeks, I have been feeling extremely depressed and anxious because I WANT my phone to ring and it be the adoption agency telling me I have something waiting for me. I don't have any advice other than maybe writing to them and telling them how you feel, but I really just wanted to let you know that I feel the same way and if I could hug you, I would. It somewhat helps me too, knowing that I am not the only person feeling this way. I have faith that they will send me something soon, and I think you will receive something also. I do believe that a-parents somewhat understand. Hang in there.

Destiny

[SchmennaLeigh]

Gina,

Even my daughter's adoptive Mom, whom I think ranks up there with "really-good-about-pictures" can sometimes be late. I, as well, have not received the Christmas pictures as of yet. Christmas is a more hectic time than even a birthday because of visiting family, shopping and then trying to get the house back in order after the holidays. For example, our Christmas decorations, all packed away neatly, have STILL not been taken to storage. Oops.

As for writing and asking, there's nothing wrong with that. In fact, just write a letter, tell them how your Christmas went (what your favorite present was, what you did with any time off, any great meals) and then simply say, "Hey, I was just wondering if X's pictures would be heading here soon. I'm looking forward to seeing how cute she was over the holidays."

*sending hugs of strength*

[katie_bear1983]

Gina-

My son's adoptive parents are so great about sending pictures - most of the time. When we were planning the wedding I think they thought that my mind was occupied and maybe tons of pictures would not be good for me. But - it was the opposite! Pictures - for me - are healing. I love to see his happy face - it just warms my heart. If I have not received pictures - I am able to shoot them an email and let them know that I would love pictures - they are in the mail the next day or so. Life gets busy and many people put things off "until tomorrow" and before we know it - four weeks have gone by. Be upfront and honest with them - it is the best way to be.

[bmoms1994]

Gina, my daughter was taken by child welfare when she was 20 days old because of my ex and his mom. Her adoptive parents told me that they would send pictures every few months after the adoption was final. Because I could not fight the adoption because they terminated our parental rights, that was the best I could hope for. They went back on their promise and I only got one set of pictures. About 9 weeks ago, they contacted a cps adoption caseworker that they contacted when I asked for pictures last year. They told her they were really considering sending me pictures of her and possible phone calls and visits in the future. I am still waiting and it is driving me crazy. Before 9 weeks ago, I have waited 10 years for pictures. I really do not have any advice, but a HUG and I can relate to how you feel. Hope that helps.