[missingyou]

I am new here and i decided to post today is my daughters 16th birthday and i'm going crazy i can't handle this... it hurts so much

[condetti123]

Hi. I just wanted to say hi and lend you some support and an ear. I know exactly how the pain can take over you and how hopeless you can feel. My daughter just turned 16 in March. The pain can take a toll on you and your family if you have one of those. I know it has for mine. I think that this has been my worst year yet. It is so difficult to think of them growing up and not being able to play a part in it. Even if you know in your heart that you did what was best for them. Hang in there. I am trying so hard to do that as well. Hopefully in a few years, our daughters will come looking for us. I am hear if you need someone to talk to. I am the same age as you and our daughters are as well. The emotions and pain and guilt are overwhelming sometimes. Feel free to PM me or post to me and let me know if you want to chat sometime. Hugs!!!

[SKiefer]

Hugs to you both

I can only share my story but as an adoptee I thought about my birthmother every birthday.

[condetti123]

Thanks for your thoughts. Hopefully both my daughter and missingyou's daughter are feeling that way as well and thinking of us also. Lots of birthmoms truly appreciate hearing the thoughts of adoptees and how they feel or have felt about their birthmoms over the years of their childhood. Thanks and hugs to you!!!

[bridges]

I'd given you a (((hug))), too, if I'd been able back in July.

As an adoptee, I haven't looked at this side of the forum enough. As an adoptee who's old enough to be your mom, please allow me to share some thoughts.

I did not know that I was adopted until after my 16th birthday. Consequently, I did not think about my mother until later. Still, from the time I learned that I was adopted, I realized and continue to realize how fortunate I was that a couple would take me in and give me such a loving home.

On the other hand, at sixteen I couldn't understand why anyone would allow her child to be adopted. In my mid 20's I got to meet my biological mother. She, too, talked about the pain of all those missed birthdays. Yet, I can't help but wish that she had somehow preserved those missed birthdays, those unspoken words, events, etc.

In short, I guess what I am saying is-- Please consider keeping a log, a diary, pictures, anything, that will help preserve those missed birthdays. A time will come when you meet your daughter as a young lady. And just as surely, she will ask about every special event in your life. You will have that opportunity to show her how special her birthday was to you.

Carolyn Kay

[hprestonalexand]

Bridges, that is such a neat idea, I'v never thought of that.

I think of my birth mother every birthday also. I always wonder if she thinks of me, lately though I get the feeling that she does